Freedom for Mages
by Violet Enigma
Summary: Anders was kidnapped by templars on the eve of battle with the Mother's forces bearing down on Vigil's Keep. Follow Anders as he flees to the City of Chains, tries to free a friend held captive under the templar's scrutiny but ends up falling in love. This is his journey to find freedom for all mages without being joined with Justice. AU retelling. Rated MA for sexual content.
1. Recapture

A/N: I'm sure many out there will disagree with me, but I have always hated Anders/Justice. He's a big stick in the mud, and by the end of DA2, with the explosion of the chantry, in my mind he's dead. Anders no longer exists. So, I wanted to create a story where Anders has been influenced by Justice's words but they are not sharing one mind, one body. More of the smart-aleck womanizer from Awakenings and a lot more control. This is my idea, hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: Dragon Age is owned by Bioware, I just hang out.

When the wardens left at the Keep by Elissa, their Warden Commander, began to feel the darkspawn presence, Nathaniel and Anders volunteered to check out the darkspawn horde bearing down on the Vigil to find out just what they were dealing with. With Nathaniel's tracking skills and Anders' healing, the two had discovered they were a very lethal combination. So they set out through one of the underground passages that led under the keep's walls and would hopefully bring them out of the way of the bulk of the horde.

They emerged from the underground passage in a grove of trees behind the horde. Using the trees as cover, they watched the horde moving towards the vigil. It was the usual sight for a darkspawn horde, with the exception of one of those new disciple darkspawn giving them all directions, the talking ones that still made the Elissa shudder when brought up in conversation.

"Looks like he's leading them," Nathaniel stated. "But are they the architect's forces…"

"Or the Mother's?" Anders finished. "It's really too bad they don't wear signs that says 'hey, I'm with the architect!' It would make this whole business with new darkspawn a lot easier."

"I doubt most darkspawn can read, let alone make signs," Nathaniel whispered.

"Oh, don't be such a twat," Anders sighed with exacerbation.

"I am not a twat."

"You are! You never smile, you don't make jokes, and I'm honestly surprised Elissa puts up with you."

"I smile," Nathaniel said, getting defensive.

"I have never seen you smile."

"I smile when it's appropriate. Not when we're supposed to do a job, like assess the number of darkspawn bearing down on our keep."

"Fine, fine. Back to assessing then."

"You two argue like an old, married couple," a third voice said from behind the warden duo.

Anders and Nathaniel turned around and were greeted with the sight of a group of templar hunters smiling very wickedly at them.

"Bloody void, not now," Anders spoke first.

"Anders, you are an escaped mage from the circle, we are here to bring you in," the leader of the group spoke.

"I'm a warden, you can't take me. The king allowed my conscription."

"That is not for me to decide, our orders are to take you back to the circle."

"Like the void you are," Nathaniel spoke finally, releasing an arrow in one smooth motion and killing one of the templars through the eye slit on his helmet.

Anders was grateful for Nathaniel sticking up for him, but he knew they wouldn't have long against this many templars. He cast a glyph of repulsion around the two wardens' feet and instructed Nathaniel not to move until the glyph expired or was cleansed. Nathaniel nodded once, and then used an archer ability that rained down arrows on the enemy. Anders and Nathaniel's surprise attack against the templars didn't last long; they finally took out their weapons and charged the two ranged wardens, thinking they had the upper hand. The first three templar hunters to charge the warden duo were thrown back across the grove before the leader noticed the green glyph and cleansed the area of magic.

One of the templars, who was thrown back across the grove, hit a tree sideways and didn't rise to fight again, his back broken by the tree. Anders knew there wasn't much time left before the templars incapacitated him. He glanced at Nathaniel, still shooting off arrows in quick succession, with the occasional killing blow. There were four templars left, but they didn't stand a chance. Once they remembered to smite him, Anders was done since he wouldn't have access to his spells anymore.

"Sorry my friend," Anders said, earning a surprised look from Nathaniel before bashing him on the back of the head with his staff. Nathaniel crumpled to the ground, knocked unconscious from the blow causing Anders to grimace slightly. _I hope he can forgive me; it's for his own good._ Anders thought to himself as he cast a rejuvenation spell on Nathaniel before throwing his staff to the side and raising his hands in defeat. The four remaining templars surrounded Anders, smited him, and placed restraints on his hands.

"Get the item," the leader ordered. Anders noticed one of the templars kneel before the one who broken their back on a tree and pull out a slim red vial before pocketing it.


	2. Final Escape

_They have my phylactery! Thank the Maker, they have my phylactery. Now I just have to wait for my chance to grab it and escape._

These thoughts had filled Anders mind the last few days as the templars brought him back to Kinloch Hold. They became a mantra in his head reminding him to keep calm, and always look for his opportunity. As time passed he learned the leader of this group of Templar Hunters was Ser Pamion, the one holding his phylactery was Ser Martel, and the other two were Ser Zeist and Ser Loche. From the conversations between the templars, they would be reaching Denerim in two days, and Anders knew if he had any chance of escape it would have to be done there.

"So Pammy are we stopping in Denerim?" Anders asked the leader of the templars as they set camp for the evening. Ser Pamion grimaced at his new "nickname" but answered Anders anyway.

"Yes, we need to re-supply and maybe see if they have any news. We will stay the night, and leave at dawn following our arrival."

"Since we're staying the night, could I stay at the Pearl, one last night of passion before you throw me in solitary in the circle?"

"No."

"I would pay for it!" Anders pleaded. "You took my money though, so I guess you would essentially pay for it."

"A circle mage has no need of money."

"But a warden does," Anders countered. "And I am a warden now. You just keep trying to forget that very important detail."

"What happened to Rylock?" Ser Pamion asked, changing the subject.

"How should I know? I last saw her at Vigil's Keep when I was conscripted by Warden Commander Elissa Cousland," Anders bluffed.

"That's interesting since we received a letter from Rylock that said she was going to set a trap for you in Amaranthine. And no one has heard from her since."

"It's not my fault if you have a rogue templar out there."

"We checked Amaranthine, she was not there."

"Sorry, never saw her. I can't help you."

"Liar!" Ser Pamion shouted, striking Anders across the face with his gauntleted hand.

"Templar justice at it's finest," Anders quipped, spitting blood.

"If I have any say _Anders,_ you will not be placed in solitary," Pamion promised pulling Anders up from the ground so they were at eye level. "You will be made tranquil."

"Good thing for me it's not up to you," Anders replied saucily, not breaking eye contact with the templar.

"I could kill you right here," Pamion continued to threaten. "Tell them the wardens turned you into a maleficus."

"And lose your commission," Anders stated. "Greagoir and Irving know I would never resort to blood magic. Besides in Irving's words, I'm spirited but harmless."

Pamion growled as he pushed Anders back to the ground, knowing he had lost this series of arguments.

"So about that night at the Pearl?" Anders inquired again causing the other three templars to snicker and Pamion to growl a second time.

* * *

Two days later, true to form the four templars and Anders arrived in Denerim. Anders knew this was his last chance to escape, if they left town before he tried to escape, he would have no contacts to back him up. Thankful for all his previous escape attempts, he knew many people in the town who would be willing to help him escape the templars. And if worse came to worse, he was wearing his Warden armor and should be able to get into the castle without an issue. First Anders had to relieve Martel of his phylactery and then make off in the crowds of Denerim, the rest would be easy.

The templars made their way to the chantry, to find if they had any letters waiting and also send a messenger bird to Kinloch Hold about their retrieval of Anders. As they neared the entrance to the chantry, the doors opened and a crowd of people came out from the completed morning pray service. Praising the Maker for the jostling crowd, Anders struck quickly, grabbing for Martel's belt pouch which contained his phylactery and relieving him of it without the man even glancing at him. In a daring second attempt, he noticed Pamion's belt pouch, so he grabbed that too without the templar noticing. Then Anders conveniently tripped as a group of hooded men passed, bringing up his own hidden cowl on his cloak and blending in with the hooded men.

Anders could hear the shouts of surprise as the templars began to look for him, but as soon as he passed the wall to the chantry, he quickened his pace, and disappeared into the bustling market just beyond the chantry. Anders knew time was of the essence, Pamion would not stop looking for him, even if they had initially stated they were going to depart the city at dawn. He also had no doubt that if dear Ser Pammy found him again; he would kill him like he threatened out on the road. He had to get out of Denerim tonight, but where should he go? His first thought was to return to the wardens, but that's the first place the templars would look for him. Anders remembered hearing in Amaranthine that many of the refugees fleeing the blight had fled to Kirkwall and the last letter Karl Thekla had sent him said he was being sent there. From Denerim it was about a week's trip by sea, that wasn't too far.

First things first he had to get out of these restraints, and find some new clothes. He detoured over to Gorim's stall, the dwarf had helped him in the past and he was sure he could get him out of these cuffs now.

"Anders!" Gorim greeted him. "Long time no see."

"Shh," Anders motioned for him to keep it down, while showing him the restraints.

"They after you again?" Gorim asked, pulling out a lock picking set and getting to work on the restraints.

"Yes, and they're probably in the market looking for me," Anders explained. "Do you know if any ships are heading to Kirkwall?"

"Sorry friend," Gorim apologized, after getting the restraints undone. "You'd have to check the Pearl for that kind of information."

"Thanks anyway Gorim," Anders said, rubbing at this wrists now that the restraints had been removed. "I need to borrow your leather apron. I'll leave it with Sanga at the Pearl. I need to cover up this warden armor until I can find some replacement clothes."

"Of course," Gorim agreed. "Say hi to the Hero for me."

Anders strapped on the leather blacksmithing apron, and made his way to the Pearl. He hoped that Pamion wouldn't make it there before him, and would still be trying to find one mage among many people in the market and chantry. Upon getting to the Pearl, Anders didn't use the front entrance the customers and patrons used; he went around the back and used the employee entrance.

"Oy! Who do you think you are?" Sanga scolded him, not recognizing him under the deep cowl of his cloak.

"Now Sanga, my dove," Anders said with a crafty grin, pushing back his cowl. "Is that any way to greet an old friend?"

"Oh Anders you fiend," Sanga hit him playfully. "What are you doing here?"

"I need some information, some different clothes, and a place to hide," he answered her, wrapping her in a hug. "Not necessarily in that order."

"Of course," she tittered after being released from Anders' embrace. "Are you running from the templars again?"

"Of course my sweet, when am I not trying to flee from the big, bad templars?" Anders asked, following her to her smuggler's run.

Sanga led Anders to a familiar section of wall, pulling on a candle holder on the wall, and the wall moved smoothly away exposing a set of stair leading down under the Pearl. Anders went ahead of her, as she swung the wall shut behind the two of them before proceeding down the stairs after him.

"Now what all do you need?" Sanga asked, getting straight to business.

"Well, I'd like to book passage on a safe ship leaving for Kirkwall as soon as possible," Anders began. "I'll need some new clothes, supplies, and a meal would be nice too. I don't know how much money I stole from those templars, but you can keep most of it. I will need some in Kirkwall, but I shouldn't need too much to hide among the refugees there."

Anders pulled out the two pouches, and dumped the contents out on a nearby table but it was his glowing phylactery and not the money that had his attention. After all this time, he was free. He picked it up, and rolled it slowly between his fingers staring into its glowing red depths.

"Is that what I think it is?" Sanga gasped.

"Yes my peach, this is my phylactery," Anders explained. "My leash to those blighted templars, with this gone they can never find me again."

Upon finishing his explanation to Sanga, Anders hurled the vial of blood at the wall and watched with satisfaction as the glass shattered and the blood ran in tiny rivulets down the stone wall.


	3. Sweet, Sweet Freedom

Anders stood at the bow of the ship heading for Kirkwall, his arms stretch out enjoying the wind whipping past him. He took in a deep breath of the salty air smiling in immense satisfaction as the sun beat down on his raised, smiling face. Freedom felt good.

Sanga had been good on her word, she had found him a ship with a captain who would allow him to sail at a reduced price as long as he healed the crew, and she had found some of his old clothes in the smuggler's run and they still fit remarkably well. She insisted he keep most of the money, but took a few sovereigns for her and Gorim each to pay for their assistance. All in all it had been a few of the most satisfying days of his life. He was finally a free mage, and nothing could stop him.

He knew that he should write Elissa and Nathaniel to let them know he was safe in hiding but that could wait until he actually arrived in Kirkwall and was actually safe. He felt obligated to Elissa, she had saved him from Rylock not once but twice, and she would worry and raise the bloody void with King Alistair if she didn't hear from him. He couldn't help chuckle to himself at his Commander; she had always been so open-minded when it came to mage's rights and freedom and she would be overjoyed that his leash was broken. Though a small part of him wished he could have her here to celebrate with him now that he truly was free, both of them really.

"Anders!" Captain Cowley called him. "Accident in the hold, we need your help."

Anders turned from the front of the ship, and went down to the ships hold. He was greeted with the galley boy's leg broken under a large barrel. Apparently he had tried to get to something from the hold for the cook but hadn't bothered to ask for help. A rope binding had broken and the barrel in question fell, crushing his leg.

"Alright now I'm going to have to put you to sleep," Anders explained, kneeling next to the boy's head supporting it with one of his hands. "You'll only be out for a few minutes, but it will be easier on your shipmates, and me, if you aren't screaming bloody murder when they lift the keg off of you. While you're asleep, I'll heal your broken bones, and when you wake up you'll be good as new, okay?"

The galley boy just grimaced and nodded at Anders, who raised his other hand above the boy's head and with a surge of blue-green light the boy went limp, and he lowered the boy's head to the floor. Anders looked up to the three crewmen standing by, so they could get the barrel off of the boy. When the barrel had been lifted enough for the boy's foot to clear the barrel, Anders pulled the boy out from under the barrel. He went to work quickly, healing the broken bones and bruised muscle in the boy's leg. After that, he set to work on the abrasions where the barrel had abraded against his skin. All the while the crewmen righted the barrel and lash it down with another binding.

"He should be okay, Olley," Anders stood up, looking behind him at the First Mate hovering near the door. "I would like him to take it easy for a few hours and then I can check on him again just to make sure. I would suggest taking him to his bunk. I'll keep an eye on him until he wakes up and then I can ask him about any pain. He may need to take something for it, which is why I suggest letting him take it easy."

The First Mate nodded, and moved to help Anders carry the boy to his bunk near the galley.

* * *

Anders stood in the bow of the ship again, it had become his favorite spot to stand when he wasn't needed somewhere else on the ship, and watched in horror inspired fascination at the huge bronze statues of the crying slaves on either side of the cliff entrance to the Kirkwall port. _Well, that's cheery._ While traveling with the ship, the captain had occasionally invited him to dine with him, so he was able to glean some information about Kirkwall.

Most of the refugee who were not lucky enough to have family in town lived in squalor down in Darktown, the city's sewers. Disease, sickness and death ran rampant down there, but because of the dislike from the citizens of Kirkwall no one wanted to help them. If he needed help with anything, there was a woman named Lirene, who had a shop just off the Lowtown market, she helped as many refugees as she could with finding work, food, and clothing. And worst of all, the town was extremely hard on mages, kept them locked up in the old slavery gallows, ruled by the iron fist of Knight-Commander Meredith.

Anders heard footsteps approach behind him, he turned slightly and noticed Captain Cowley had come up to join him in the bow of the ship and watch their approach to the docks.

"Are you sure it is wise for you to come here?" the captain asked, concern tingeing his inquiry. "This is not a safe city for mages and I wouldn't mind having someone of your skill set on my ship and being a traveling merchant ship we don't run into templars out at sea. You could be a very valuable member of my crew."

"That's a kind offer," Anders replied, laughing. "But I think I could do some good here. Besides, I have an old friend I need to track down and see how he's doing. Although I might take you up on that offer sometime in the future, when my business here is complete."

"As you wish. This is for you," the captain replied, causing Anders to turn and Cowley placed a small money bag in his hands. "I'm returning your fare and giving a little extra for all the work you did around here. You helped my crew batten down the ship during that storm a couple days back and you didn't have to."

"You don't…" Cowley raised a hand to silence Anders as only a man used to command could do.

"Safe journey to you Anders," Cowley said, offering Anders his arm.

"And you." Anders said with a grin and a shake before gathering his pack at his feet and moving to help the other passengers get ready to depart the now docking ship.


	4. Chance Encounter

Anders was just returning to his Darktown clinic requesting supplies from Lirene in Lowtown, when stepping off the elevator he noticed the lovely, shapely figure of a woman in a long cerulean dress leaning on the counter and chatting up Tomwise, the local poison master. He seriously considered stopping to flirt with the woman because she was obviously not one of the refugees of Darktown from the state of her clothes, but he had been away from the clinic for more than an hour and only had a couple of assistance to mind the place during his absence. He turned towards the stairs leading down from the elevator, when her sudden musical laughter made his heart skip a beat and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Turning to look over his shoulder and he found himself seriously wishing she would turn her head so he could put a face to that beautiful laughter.

Sighing to himself, Anders descended the stairs, but because he was so caught up in a daydream about the figure of the mysterious woman he didn't notice until it was too late that he was surrounded by a dozen refugee Carta dwarves. Seriously wishing he had spent more time learning battle spells with Velanna, Anders began praying to the Maker that he would make it through this sorely outnumbered fight okay, even though he wasn't the most religious mage. Anders cast a cone of cold to his back, where most of the Carta dwarves were standing, hoping to take him out by stabbing him in the back. With half his attackers now frozen, he concentrated on the front group, firing off a fireball just behind the center dwarf in Anders' face he caused four of the remaining six to start flailing around trying to put out the flames on their smoldering clothes.

Anders fired his staff at one of the dwarves, while trying to keep an eye on the other so he couldn't sneak around behind him and stab him when he wasn't looking. Suddenly he was surrounded in a protective shield he didn't case, and a fire storm was raining down around him. Glancing around as the Carta dwarves fell under the assault of the fire, he caught a glance of a blue dress behind him and turning he recognized the dre- not a dress but mage's robes, of the mysterious woman from Tomwise's stall. In one hand was a mage's staff and fire was dancing in her hands from the casting of the fire storm. She ran down the stairs to his side as the last dwarf fell and the shield surrounding him failed.

"Are you alright?" she asked, her voice as musical as her laugh. She was without a doubt the most beautiful woman Anders had seen in a long time. His gut clenched as he realized her robes matched the color of her eyes perfectly and reminded him of liquid lyrium in color. She had short chin-length black hair and bangs that framed her face perfectly. And her mouth looked so bloody kissable and the color made him think of summer berries. Her skin looked like fresh cream, and he longed to reach out to touch her cheek knowing it would be as soft as a flower petal.

"Are you alright?" his mystery woman asked again, a frown causing her lips to drift to a frown and her eyebrows to pucker in concern. Anders could only nod mutely to her, certain his jaw was on the ground and he was drooling. "We need to get out of here, in case there were templars nearby." She grabbed his hand and started to lead him away from the scene of destruction surrounding them.

"I know of a safe place," Anders spoke, finally finding his voice. "It's not far." She turned back in surprise and then looked a little wary before finally nodding and letting him take the lead. He kept hold of her hand as he led her to his clinic. Her hand was as soft as he imagined her face would be and though he could feel her following him with caution, she was being forced to trust him knowing he was a mage as well. He brought her into his clinic and to his private back area where he spent his nights, thankful that there was no one that needed his assistance in the clinic at the moment.

"We should be safe here," Anders promised as he regretfully let go of her hand.

"You're the Darktown healer, Anders," she gasped. "The Gray Warden from Fereldan."

"Yes, that's me," Anders grimaced, though he enjoyed the way his name filled her mouth and he had flashes of making her gasp it more but with less clothing between them.

"I'm sorry," she apologized as she took a careful seat on his bed. "It's just I have a…friend who heard about you down here, and he thought you might have some maps we need."

"What kind of friend?" Anders asked with a knowing smirk, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy in his gut.

"Oh, it's nothing like that," she laughed, waving her hand dismissively. "We joke about it sure, but he's a dwarf. He has connection throughout the city and heard about your arrival. We were actually going to come by later this afternoon to talk to you, once Isabela woke up from her late night activities."

"Then I guess it's my lucky day," Anders said with a smile. "Not only do I get saved by a beautifully mysterious mage, but I get to see her again later."

"Oh," she gasped, turning a delicious shade of pink. "Umm…I was thinking I could just talk to you now, since I'm here."

"If you so wish my dear but I'd rather have something to look forward to later today," he told her, looking into those wonderful blue eyes he watched them deepen in color slightly.

His mystery lady laughed uncomfortable then stood up as she turned a deeper shade of pink and she began pacing in his small living area. Anders stepped in front of her forcing her pacing to stop, and she backed up against the wall to create some distance between them.

"You have me at a disadvantage," Anders started, slowing closing the distance between them. "Can I at least learn the name of the lovely mystery woman who saved my life from a dozen crazy dwarves?"

"Marianna Hawke, but everyone just calls me Hawke," she replied meeting his intense honey colored gaze.

"Hawke," Anders tried the name out. "Will you give a fellow mage a chance to thank you for saving his life?"

"What…" Hawke started, before clearing her throat. "What did you have in mind?"

Anders reached up a hand and caressed her cheek, causing her breath to shudder as she leaned into his tender touch. Anders smiled gently down at her, as he brought his thumb across her lower lip. "I was thinking something like this," he said before dipping his head toward her upturned face and brushing her soft lips with a kiss. He felt her arms come up to his chest and pull on his own robes to bring him closer to her. Smiling to himself, he moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck and he deepened the chaste kiss feeling passion for this beautiful mage build. After a few minutes exploring the mouth of the raven-haired beauty, Anders broke the kiss and found he was breathless.

"You're welcome," Hawke whispered. "I guess I'll have to try to save you more often if that's how you say thank you."

The two mages chuckled, foreheads touching while their breathing returned to normal. "I look forward to being rescued by you," Anders finally replied. "Now what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, to give you a little background, I came to Kirkwall with my mother and brother," she started, moving to sit on the edge of his bed again.

"You have family, you remember?" Anders asked, shocked.

"Grew up with them my whole life," Hawke nodded.

"It's just, I only remember the circle," Anders said, taking a seat next to her on the bed.

"My father was an apostate," Hawke explained. "And he escaped the circle here in Kirkwall after he met and fell in love with my mother. The two ran away to Fereldan together, and had myself and my twin brother and sister. My baby sister, my father and I were all mages, so we were forced to move around a lot when Bethany and I were younger. But after we mastered our powers, we finally settled in Lothering."

"You came here because of the blight," Anders reasoned.

"Yeah, Carver served at Ostagar and came to warn us after the army's defeat," Hawke continued to explain. "We barely made it out in time before the horde destroyed the town. We were chased by darkspawn for days before we finally ran into an ogre who took Bethy's life when she protected mother from being hurt."

"I'm sorry," Anders replied, taking Hawke's hand.

"Thanks, it's been over a year now but the pain still lingers," Hawke replied putting her other hand on Anders. "Anyway, we ended up here in Kirkwall because this is where my mother was from. She said the family was wealthy, but that was before my greedy uncle gambled and drank it all away. Now my brother and I are trying to save up money to take part in a Deep Roads Expedition and get the mansion back for mother."

"I hate the Deep Roads," Anders muttered. "Why do you want to go there?"

"Varric, my dwarf friend, told me it was a sure-fire way to make a lot of coin quickly."

"Well, I could give you these maps, but I would like to ask a favor in return. Now I know I already owe you for saving my life…"

"You owe me nothing after that toe-curling kiss," Hawke interrupted, a saucy smile on her face.

"If you think that was toe-curling, just wait until I'm not worried about someone interrupting me," Anders promised cheekily, causing Hawke to gasp and give his arm a playful punch. "Anyway, I have a friend named Karl Thekla who was sent here from the Fereldan circle, and he says the Gallows is a prison. We've exchanged a few letters, and I'd like to try and get him out, help him live free. He's supposed to meet me in the Chantry tonight, but I'd appreciate some backup in case the templars are there."

"I don't exactly relish the idea of fighting templars but I'll help," Hawke promised, standing from his bed. "I'll go and talk with everyone and let them know about the change in plans. I guess I'll see you tonight."

"I look forward to it," Anders replied, brushing his lips across the back of her knuckles before letting go of her hand so she could leave.


	5. Lost Tranquility

Anders stood pacing outside the chantry doors, waiting for Hawke's arrival. He had already seen Karl enter the chantry alone, but that was an hour ago and Hawke was no where in sight. He was just about to give up on Hawke being a lost cause and try to get Karl out on his own, when he noticed a group of four people hustling through the courtyard to the chantry stairs. Anders tried to keep him smile to a minimum as Hawke bounced up the stairs to stand in front of him.

"Sorry, we ran into a couple gang cells on our way here," Hawke apologized breathlessly, pulling a strand of hair out of her mouth from climbing the steps. "They seemed quite desperate to die, and wouldn't let us leave them in peace."

"Ha, that's one way to put it," the dwarf at her side commented, causing Hawke to laugh at him.

"So introductions," Hawke continued. "Everyone this is Anders, the Healer of Darktown, Gray Warden extraordinaire and the silly mage I had to rescue from crazy Carta dwarves."

"Silly am I?" Anders chuckled.

"Yes you are, if you walk right in the middle of a group of angry dwarves and don't even notice until you're completely surrounded."

"Sorry, my mind was a little distracted by a lovely woman I had just seen in a blue dress talking to Tomwise."

"Oh," Hawke smiled, and Anders could just make out her cheeks darkening from blushing in the moonlight. "Well, this charming beardless dwarf is the famous Varric I was telling you about earlier."

"Hawke, are you talking me up?" Varric asked, giving her a soft shove.

"As always," Hawke said bending over and giving him a loud playful kiss on the top of his head. "The lovely seductress not wearing any pants is Isabela, formally pirate captain of a ship called the Siren's Call."

Anders turned to look at the pirate in mention and did a double take.

"You look familiar," Anders muttered, tapping his chin trying to make the memory appear.

"You're Fereldan," Isabela noticed. "Ever spend time at the Pearl?"

"That's it!" Anders stated, the memory coming back to him. "You used to really like that girl with the griffon tattoos, right? Oh, what was her name?"

"The _lay_ warden," Isabela supplied sidling next to Anders.

"That's right," Anders smiled at the memory. "I think you were there the night that I-"

"Oh! Were you the runaway mage who could do that electricity thing? That was nice…" Isabela smirked seductively at Anders running a finger down his arm.

"I don't think I need to know this about either of you," Varric grumbled, looking away from Isabela pawing the mage.

Hawke gaped at Anders and Isabela, and when Anders noticed her staring he cleared his throat, took a step away from Isabela, and shrugged sheepishly.

"And lastly, the strapping young man with the almost perpetual scowl and sword as big as me is my brother, Carver," Hawke finished.

"We aren't really going to have to kill templars, are we?" Carver asked, and with the way the other three rolled their eyes at the question, it wasn't the first time he had posed the question.

"I hope not," Anders replied smoothly. "I'm just here to help my friend Karl, and hopefully get him out of the wretched gallows. The only reason we'll be forced to battle is if the templars decide that mages and anyone with mages should be killed."

"Are you going to be okay with this Carver?" Hawke asked her brother, turning to look at him and placing a hand on his crossed arms.

"Yeah, I just don't want to kill people who are doing the job the Maker called them to do," Carver defended.

"I know, I don't want to kill them either," Hawke stated truthfully, smiling up at her brother. "Bandits, mercenaries and crazy dwarves but not templars. Well, the night's not getting any earlier, let's do this fast."

Anders nodded and led the way into the silent chantry.

"Do I want to know about the electricity thing?" Hawke whispered into Anders' ear.

"We can talk about it later if you're curious," Anders whispered back. "I could even be persuaded to give you a demonstration." Anders looked to Hawke at his side, and noticed her draw her full lips into a thin unsure line, but she refused to meet his gaze. So he promised: "I'll tell you about it later."

The group crept through the chantry, trying to make as little noise as possible. Anders, Hawke, and Carver waited in the central area while Isabela and Varric snuck up the stairs on either side to check for the expectant mage. A soft whistle from Varric caught everyone's attention and they made their way over to the right side of the chantry, where a lone man stood with his back to the stairs.

"I knew you would come, Anders," a flat voice greeted them when the five got close to the solitary figure.

"Why are you tal…" Anders trailed off, as Karl turned to face the group. A sunshine brand blazing in the middle of his forehead was all the explanation Anders needed. "Karl! No!"

"I was too rebellious like you," Karl continued in his creepy monotone, as a dozen templars emerge from closed rooms fencing in the group. "You will understand. This is the apostate."

"Sister what do we do?" Carver asked as he moved in front of his sister, hand close to his sword but not daring to draw it yet.

"I don't know," Hawke replied, terror dripping from her voice. "But if we don't attack they'll take Anders and me away and I don't want to live in the circle."

"We know sweet ling," Isabela said, moving in a defensive crouch, her daggers already gleaming in her hand.

"They won't get you Hawke," Varric agreed. "Not on my watch."

With Varric's reassurance Isabela and Varric sprang into action, attacking the templars bearing down on the little group. Carver charged in close behind the two rogues, knowing his sister's freedom was on the line. Left to battle from a comfortable distance, Anders and Hawke began to unleash area effects to slow the templars down. Isabela dueled with the commander of this group of templars, scoring hit after hit while dodging his slow attacks against the quick melee rogue. Carver yelled at the rest of the templar in challenge, and his massive sword made short work of three bodies in one single arc of his massive blade. Varric fired off a smoke grenade that aided Isabela and Carver by blurring their movements and position, making it harder for the templars to strike back. Within a matter of minutes, the group made short work of the templars and turned back to the now tranquil Karl.

"What do we do now?" Hawke asked, never having seen a tranquil before but understanding the horror it would bring to her. "I would rather die than live like this."

"Karl, can you tell me what happened?" Anders asked, pleading with the tranquil man in front of him.

"I was not careful," the deadpan man answered. "They found a letter I was writing to you and took care of me. They planned to make you a new phylactery once they caught you and decided whether or not to make you tranquil, this one would make it easier to track you since it would have the darkspawn taint in it too."

"How do you not have a phylactery if you were a part of the circle?" Hawke asked.

"I destroyed it before I left Fereldan," Anders explained. "The group of templars who essentially stole me off the gray warden's doorstep had it with them and I was able to steal it when I escaped."

"I don't know a lot about tranquility," Hawke started, "but is there anyway to save him?"

"Can you cure a beheading?" Anders asked, turning to Hawke with tears glistening in his eyes. "No, once you are cut-off, there's no going back."

"I'm sorry but we can't let him go," Hawke said. "If we do, he'll just tell the templars about us both."

"I know," Anders replied, shoulders slumping dejectedly. "There's only one thing I can do for him."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Karl asked in monotone, as Anders stepped up to him and shoved a dagger up into his heart. Karl gasped his last breath, and died in Anders arms. Anders held his friend as he slowly lowered him to the ground, closing his eyes before standing up and turning to the group.

"Let's go before more templars come," Anders voice cracked with emotion as he headed for the exit.

Outside the chantry Anders took a deep breath and turned to Hawke, his voice husky with emotion: "Can we talk, privately?"

"Umm, sure," Hawke replied uncertainly, before turning to the rest of her friends. "Let's call it a night. We can meet up tomorrow at Varric's suite for lunch and figure out which job to do next."

"Sure Hawke," Varric teased. "Don't stay up all night."

"Care to buy a lady a drink?" Isabela purred at Carver, taking him by the arm.

"I could do that," Carver replied, a big grin on his face.

"Make sure it's just the one drink Carver," Hawke called after her brother and the pirate in a sing-song voice. "We don't need Isabela spending all our hard-earned expedition coin on ale."

Carver glared at his sister, and Isabela gave her a wink before the two walked arm and arm behind Varric heading for Lowtown. Anders started walking down the other set of stairs to get to his Darktown clinic quickly, Hawke rushed to catch up to his long stride.

"I know you're stressed Anders," Hawke panted beside him. "But can you slow down for us short people?"

Anders glanced over at the lovely mage at his side and realized that she was in fact shorter than him, the top her head only coming up to his shoulders. This surprised him, earlier her confidence and poise made you believe she was a much taller individual. He shortened his stride, so she didn't have to jog at his side to keep up, and continued to his clinic. Anders unlocked the clinic door, stepping back and letting Hawke into the clinic first. The clinic was dimly lit with a few candle spread throughout the room.

"I'm sorry about Karl," Hawke said gently, stopping just inside the clinic doors as Anders closed it behind him.

"He was a harrowed mage, that shouldn't have happened," Anders growled, turning to her. "What do you know about the mages here?"

"Well, not much," Hawke answered readily. "I know they are basically kept locked up, you only see the merchants and tranquil in the courtyard. I have heard some horror stories about Knight-Commander Meredith in my dealing with the Red Iron."

"You were a mercenary?" Anders scoffed.

"Girls can be mercenaries, don't be so provincial," Hawke huffed, hands on her hips. "It was the only way for my brother and me to get into the city. We either had to work for a year as mercenaries or smugglers. Can you see my brother as a smuggler?" Anders shook his head no, grinning at and image of Carver trying to sneak like he had seen Isabela do tonight. "Neither could I, so I joined up with Meeran."

"What are these stories you've heard?"

"She suspects every mage of being a blood mage; she just has to find proof. I think she may even be trying to find evidence the First Enchanter is a blood mage. She only has a handful of templars that work with her specifically, otherwise they answer to Knight-Captain Cullen, also from Fereldan by the way. It seems just about every month she comes up with some new edict pertaining to the treatment of mages at the gallows. The latest one being they aren't allowed to carry their staves around unless under the supervision of templars outside the gallows or in their lessons."

"I had a friend in the Gray Wardens name Justice who once asked me why I didn't help free my fellow mages. I told him it was too much work but being here and hearing about the oppression these mages face here everyday, I have to wonder if I should listen to him and help. Their problems in the circle make the things I suffered through seem so meaningless."

"If I can help, I will," Hawke stated standing in front of Anders.

"Oh my dove, you don't need to do that," Anders replied, touching her cheek with his hand while putting his other on her waist. "You have lived your whole life as a free mage; you've never known the loneliness of solitary confinement or felt the sting of a templar's whip."

"That doesn't mean I can't help," Hawke stated defiantly, her cobalt gaze simmering with rage at his attempt to dismiss her. "I avoided the circles true, but it was because my family never believed they were the answer. Mages are just regular people who have been blessed by the Maker with an ability many people still don't understand."

"Blessed," Anders whispered, rubbing his thumb across her bottom lip, "I like the sound of that. My whole life I have heard nothing but my magic was a curse, a sin, I like your idea much better."

"It's something my father tried to instill in Bethy and me, along with: magic will serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base."

"You are an amazing woman, I'm happy you saved my arse today," Anders said dipping his head to kiss Hawke but he was stopped by her hand on his lips and a small smile on her face.

"If I start kissing you now," Hawke clarified, "I won't be able to stop."

"I think that's the idea," Anders mumbled behind her held up palm.

"Good night Anders," Hawke smirked up at him, withdrawing from his arms. "You should come by the Hanged Man tomorrow for lunch if you can get away from your clinic. Ask for Varric or me, everyone knows us there."

Anders watched as his beautiful savior walked out of his clinic, giving him a quick wave before the door closed. Grinning to himself at the fun he was going to have getting to know this fascinating mage.


	6. Remembering

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, it just seemed like a good breaking point, but have no fear the muses (and my excitement over the reception of this story) will not let me go and it's just pouring out of my finger tips. More will follow soon.

* * *

Anders finally gave up sleeping with a groan as he rose from his cot stretching in his linen breeches to get his sore muscles working again after sleeping on the uncomfortable cot. _I got too used to a bed those six months I was with the wardens_, he mused. _This cot is going to have to go, if I ever get enough money saved up to buy a cheap bed._ Hawke had filled his dreams and nightmares last night, the dreaming part wasn't unusual for him when he met a pretty girl but the nightmares…that was different. In his dreams, he would be making love to her, her eyes a deep cobalt from their shared passion, her screams of ecstasy as she said his name filling his ears but then those screams would turn into screams of fear, pain, and horror and suddenly she would have a sun branded to her forehead and she would scream no more. There was no passion in her aquamarine eyes after that, she would just stare into space.

Anders bent over the large bowl, splashing cold water on his face in a vain attempt to block out the image of Hawke as a tranquil. Apparently Karl's loss had hit him much deeper than he thought, Anders tried to crush the memories but they came back unbidden.

* * *

The first time Anders had bumped into Karl, it was a literal thing. He was still an apprentice, and scurrying down one of the halls in the tower, trying to hide from the templar he had just pulled a prank on when he bumped into another mage coming out of his bedroom. Karl only glanced at Anders' face once, before he pulled the apprentice into his room and closed the door.

"I would suggest not letting them catch you," Karl said, a smile playing across his lips.

"Sometime that's the fun part," Anders replied cheekily. "Seeing how long it takes them to catch me."

"If you say so," Karl said with a shrug, the smile gone from his face. "Personally I never enjoyed time in solitary; it's even more confining than this blighted tower."

"You've been in solitary?" Anders asked, looking skeptical.

"A time or five as an apprentice," Karl replied with a non-committal shrug. "My favorite prank was to fill a bucket with ice cold water and from one of the study chambers in the library levitate it over the head of some unsuspecting templar."

"Levitate?" Anders inquired, looking intrigued at his senior mage.

"It's something I learned how to do. It's causing small objects to fly for a short duration. It can be very draining at first, so you have to start small with things like a feather or quill," Karl explained. "I could show you, but you _can't_ get caught, otherwise no more 'lessons.'"

* * *

With Karl's help, Anders became even more of a prankster than he already was but true to his word the moment Anders got caught Karl no longer taught Anders any of the pranks he knew. Even after he wouldn't teach Anders anymore, Karl would still mentor Anders in ways of dealing with the confines of the circle. After a time, the bond between the two men began to grow and change and Anders' harrowing made him realized what he was beginning to feel for Karl. After a bumbling confession on the new young enchanter's part, Karl admitted to feeling the same.

Anders sighed to himself as he got ready for the day, Karl had been the first man he had ever kissed, made love to in the dark corners of the tower, and it was definitely the first person he had dared to love. It's why this was so hard for him to take this loss in stride. It wasn't just another friend, he was a past love. His first love, if he was being honest with himself. And even though they hadn't been close like _that_ in many years, it was hard to let go. Anders pushed the memories back to the recesses of his mind as he pulled on his feathered coat, Karl was a good man, a good mage and he would always remember his as such but he had a clinic to run. And if fate was on his side, a lunch date with a fascinating mage who was quickly becoming a distraction.


	7. Misfits Stick Together

Luck was apparently on Anders' side today, the long line at the clinic when he opened the doors very quickly dissipated as he began to take care of them. As the high sun hour grew near, he noticed fewer and fewer patients needing his care. Thanks to his two capable assistants, he was able to excuse himself for lunch and head to the Hanged Man for his lunch date. As he passed through Darktown, many of the refugees he had helped in the past would stop him and thank him, offering what little food they had for his services. He would accept the gratitude gracefully but decline the offered food before continuing on his way towards Lowtown.

Bracing himself for the smells that were sure to greet him once he opened the door, Anders stepped into the Hanged Man. He was surprised to see the number of people in the tavern but he mused they were probably here for lunch. He noticed a haggard looking waitress walking up to him, whom he remembered was named Norah.

"What can I get you, love?" she inquired.

"I'm looking for Hawke," Anders replied, leaning towards the waitress to be heard over the din of the bar.

"Room straight up the stairs," she told him with a roll of her eyes as she pointed to the back of the tavern. Before she walked off, Anders heard her say: "Bloody bitch has an entourage of men always following her, why can't one nice one be looking for me."

Anders dodged through the lunch crowd to the stairs Norah had pointed out, taking the stairs two at a time in his haste to see Hawke again. The mentioned room's door was standing open, and as he glanced inside he noticed a room full of people all crowded around a large table.

"Anders!" Hawke cried, jumping up from the table, and scrambling around the chairs to greet him. "I didn't think you'd be able to make it."

"Come on in Blondie," Varric beckoned from the far end of the large table. "And welcome to my humble abode."

"You…live here?" Anders asked in shock as he glanced around the room. He could believe it, the room was decorated in the style of a noble dwarf. There were a few shorter stone chairs along with regular ones for his human guests, bookshelves filled with books lining the walls and he could just make out a stone bed around a corner. There were crimson and gold tapestries hanging in the blank places to cover the ugly stone walls, and plush crimson rugs on the floor. Varric's luxurious decorations certainly did not match the rest of the inn or tavern, and Anders should know, he stayed here a couple days while the clinic was getting set up.

"Leasing it from Corff," Varric replied from his seat. "Grab a seat, take a load off. Make yourself at home, everyone else does."

"Let me introduce you to the other two misfits you didn't meet last night," Hawke said, guiding him to a pair of chairs so she could sit next to him.

"The stoic guardsman with a soft spot for the Hawke family is Aveline, soon to be captain of the guard," Hawke replied, motioning towards a tall, severe looking woman with ginger hair and the tell-tale orange full plate of the guard.

"Hawke," the woman tried to chide her while the two mages sat down, but you could see the affection in her gaze as she looked sternly at her friend.

"Can I help it if I'm proud of my friend for uncovering a heinous plot by the old rotten captain of the guard, and now she gets to step into his shoes and help improve this city?" Hawke queried, looking innocently at her friend, batting her turquoise eyes and causing the table to laugh at her antics. "And then the brooding elf with the spiky, angry looking armor and interesting tattoos in the corner by Varric is Fenris," Hawke continued.

"I do not brood," rumbled Fenris from his corner seat.

"Elf, if your brooding were any more impressive, women would swoon as you passed," Varric stated, agreeing with Hawke as he took a drink from his mug. "They'd have broody babies in your honor."

Fenris could only growl at the statement before taking a drink from his own mug.

"He also apparently hates mages," Hawke whispered loudly in Anders' ear so the whole table could hear. "So don't take it personally if he glares at you, granted he glares at everyone right now so I really can't tell the difference."

Hawke's comment to Anders made Carver and Isabela snicker from across the table and Aveline could only nod her head in resigned agreement.

"Hawke's only known you a week Elf," Varric chuckled. "And already she's got you pegged."

"Are you hungry?" Hawke inquired, ignoring Fenris' glare from the corner.

"Famished," Anders replied, staring at her berry colored lips.

"I'll be right back," Hawke replied, bouncing up from her seat and disappearing down the steps into the tavern.

"Does she always have this much…energy?" Anders asked Carver, chuckling at her departing figure.

"She's calmer now, you should have seen her when she was younger," Carver replied, between bites of his stew. "Mother and father practically went insane trying to keep her under control and avoid templar notice. She always had to be doing something, going somewhere. Father always said it was a good thing she had so much natural magical talent because getting her to settle down enough for teaching sessions was next to impossible."

"Hawke's already a handful and difficult to keep up with," Varric chimed in from his seat. "I really don't want to imagine her with more energy."

"Her exuberance is contagious," Anders chuckled again with a shake of his head.

"You should see her with a few drinks in her," Isabela purred from her seat. "It's all sultry flirting."

"Bela!" Carver chided from his seat, elbowing the rogue.

"What?" the sultry rogue asked, raising a brow at Anders' warming face. "Can I help it if she and I like to give the bar a good show when you're not around?"

"What kind of show?" Fenris broke in, the tips of his ears a slight shade of pink.

"Well, sweetness you'll just have to wait to see it," Isabela promised leaning on the table, displaying her ample cleavage for the men at the table.

"Okay," Hawke broke the sexual tension in the room with her re-entry, while managing to gracefully carry two serving trays. "I got a new round of ale, stew for everyone, and more stew for Carver."

"Thanks sis," Carver said from his seat as hit took a big drink from his mug to finish his ale.

Anders tried to get up and help Hawke as she slid one of the trays onto the table but was rewarded with a smack to his hands.

"Sit," she commanded, and she began walking around the table handing drinks out to everyone and gathering up empty mugs.

"Hawke, that's Norah's job," Varric told her, as she handed him a new mug and gave her the old.

"I know," Hawke replied, almost sounding like she was pleading with Varric. "But she looked so busy and with such a large order I told Corff I would take care of it. I think I actually saw Norah smile at me when she saw me with these two trays."

"It's probably the first time a customer has helped her," Varric chuckled.

Hawke was finally at the end of the table with her tray and she gracefully switched the two trays before repeating the process with the bowls of stew.

"Hawke, when did you pick up waitressing?" Varric asked, wanting to hear the story.

"Dane's Refuge was Lothering's bar and during busy seasons Danal would let me work to make some extra money for the family," Hawke explained.

"She actually got pretty good at it," Carver chimed in, digging into his new bowl of stew causing Hawke to smile warmly down at him at the compliment.

"I'll be right back," Hawke said again, sliding the full tray of empty mugs and single empty bowl onto the now empty tray that held the stew. Anders couldn't help but watch Hawke sachet from the room, carefully taking the stairs before disappearing from view. When he looked back at the table, Isabela gave him a knowing smirk before looking into her bowl. Just when the group was beginning to get worried over Hawke not returning, she appeared with a loaf of fresh baked bread and plopped it in the middle of the table for the group to share before beginning to eat her stew.

"You don't need to bribe us Hawke," Varric chimed in after tearing a chunk off the end of the load. "We already like you, well except Broody over here."

"They sounded good together," Hawke replied with a shrug before taking a bite of her warm bread.

"You're trying to save money," Varric reminded her. "For an expedition, so you can buy that estate for your mother."

"Yes father," Hawke admitted sarcastically with a chuckle causing Varric to look at her in surprise and then shake his head with a grin. After several minutes and a few conversations everyone seemed to be finished eating. "So now that everyone's done, I mostly asked you here to find out who would like to go with me to return an amulet to the Dalish. I figure the trip should take about a week, maybe a week and a half depending on how hard it is to find the Dalish camp on Sundermount. Aveline and Anders, I can understand if you can't get away for that long, so any volunteers?"

"I'll go," Carver spoke up from across the table.

"I could go too, sweetness," Isabela replied from Carver's side.

"Fenris, I know you're not Dalish," Hawke began, "but it might make it easier if we have an elf with us and not an entire group of humans. Will you come?"

"As you wish," Fenris replied with a single nod.

"I can't Hawke," Varric stated. "I have a couple business meetings I have to be here for."

"Nor can I, guard duty." Aveline stated.

"I understand. Anders?" Hawke said, turning to look at him.

"When would you be leaving?" Anders inquired.

"Ideally tomorrow morning, but day after tomorrow at the latest," Hawke told him. "We would need to get supplies together for the trip."

"I could go," Anders nodded. "I just have to make arrangements and spread the word I'll be gone for about a week. Hopefully no major catastrophe's happen while I'm gone."

"Great," Hawke grinned at the table. "Carver would you help me get the supplies we need?"

"Sure," Carver replied easily, with a small wink. "Thanks for asking."

"No problem," she said sticking her tongue out at him causing her brother to chuckle while Anders' heart skipped a beat at the sight of her pink tongue. "Let's meet again tonight for drinks and cards, and I can let you know if we'll be leaving tomorrow or the day after. First round's on me, you're on your own the rest of the night."

As if that was a cue for the end of lunch, everyone stood and began trickling out of Varric's room. Anders reached for Hawke's hand, and pulled her down the hall of the Hanged Man, and into the storage room he knew was located in the back.

"Is everything okay?" Hawke asked, looking up into his hazel eyes. Without giving a reply, Anders grabbed her face between his hands and dipped his head to kiss her sweet lips. Hawke let out a startled gasp in his mouth, before pushing him away. "What are you doing?"

"I have wanted to do that since I woke up this morning," Anders grinned at her mischievously.

"What am I going to do with you?" she inquired, shaking her head slightly.

"Give in?" he prompted.

"Oh no," Hawke replied, pulling her face from his hands. "I get the feeling you're a love them and leave them kind of guy."

"When I was on the run," Anders admitted. "It's hard to have a meaningful relationship with someone when you're on the run from the templars. And living in the circle, love was a game because to really fall in love meant the templars could hold that person over you."

"You're free now, what's to stop you from taking off tomorrow, in a week, or a month from now?" Hawke asked, turning away from him.

"My work at the clinic for one," Anders replied putting his arms around Hawke and resting his cheek on the top of her head. "Second, I think I could do a lot of help for my fellow mages, helping them break free from the circle. And the most important reason is this _fascinating _woman I met. Did I tell you she saved my life?"

"You don't say," Hawke laughed. "And what makes her so fascinating?"

"She's a mage like me, but has lived free her whole life. She rescues people without a second thought. She's energetic, kind, funny, and I think could keep me on my toes the rest of my life."

"What makes you think she's interested in you?"

"I kissed her once for saving my life and she called it toe-curling which means she felt the spark too."

"Sounds like an interesting woman," Hawke replied, pulling out of his arms again. "I guess you'll just have to show her you're sincere in your feelings and stick around."

"I intend to," Anders grinned at her when Hawke looked at him over her shoulder.

"See you tonight Anders," Hawke replied leaving the storage room, and giving him a quick wave.

Anders leaned on one of the crates in the storage room after Hawke's departure grinning like a fool; he was just about to leave: "Be careful Blondie," Varric warned, appearing out of the shadows near the door and almost stopping Anders heart.

"I don't know what your talking about?" Anders stated, trying to sound innocent.

"Don't play games," Varric threatened. "I'm great at observation. I saw the way you looked at Hawke when you thought no one was paying attention. I think she likes you too but she's cautious. You don't live twenty-six years as an apostate protecting your family without knowing the meaning of the word, you however seem more reckless. Don't toy with her. Don't hurt her because I guarantee if you hurt her, you'll be hurt."

"What do you mean?" Anders asked, cowed by the dwarf's bluntness and understanding.

"All I would have to do is mutter a few words to her brother, and he would have your head spinning so fast you wouldn't know which way was forward anymore. Isabela and Hawke are thick as thieves already, even though they've only known each other a couple weeks. If Rivaini suspected you of foul play, you'd be riddled with holes faster than you could blink. Aveline came over from Fereldan with the family, there's some joined pain between them that I don't really know the whole story about because of how tight-lipped Aveline can be. If she even suspected you of messing with Hawke, she'd have you in the stocks faster than you could cast a fireball. As for me and Bianca, well let's just say Bianca has a streak of vengeance in her wood. Hawke is the glue that holds this group of misfits together, and none of us want to see her hurt by some flashy mage with visions of freedom and conquest."

"What? No Fenris?" Anders quipped, trying to swallow the dread from Varric's threats.

"The elf doesn't know her," Varric answered honestly. "But he may just rip your heart out for the fun of it, if we tell him."

"You're joking," Anders tried to shrug off Varric statement.

"Nope, it's the honest truth. Those strange tattoos are lyrium, he glows and can phase through solid objects. The first time we met him he ripped out a man's heart for calling him a slave. I think it may have beaten once more before it hit the ground."

With his threats still hanging in the air, Varric left Anders to ponder his actions in the storage room. Anders admitted to himself that the dwarf had scared him; he spent a few minutes calming his breathing. He also realized that he was probably in for many more nights of sexy, agonizing dreams staring his new favorite mage. He intended to show the group that he wasn't about to harm Hawke. Then he left the Hanged Man and returned to his clinic.


	8. Female Antics

Anders afternoon at the clinic had been brutal. There had been an accident at the docks and two workers had somehow managed to get pinned between a ship and the dock, breaking both sets of legs. It had been a long time since he'd had to set and heal that many broken limbs. Thankfully the men were doing fine. They were resting in his clinic for the night to sleep off the tonics he had given them for pain. He was able to assure them that they could go back to work in the morning, something that worried both of the workers before they would take the tonic.

Stepping into the Hanged Man, Anders found it was even busier now than it had been at lunch. All of the tables were occupied, and you couldn't see Corff standing at the bar because of all the people around it. Anders couldn't see any of Hawke's friends, so he headed back to Varric's suite in the back. He found Varric and Fenris playing cards but no one else.

"Hey Blondie," Varric greeted him, pouring him a mug from a pitcher on the table. "Think about what I said earlier?"

"How could I not?" Anders replied taking a large drink from the mug Varric pushed his way before sitting down. "I figured I would be the last one here, with the clinic open so late, where is everyone?"

"Aveline doesn't come claiming early morning guard duty, but occasionally Hawke has been able to drag her here. Carver is probably at the Rose. Rivaini and Hawke are down in the tavern."

"I didn't see them," Anders stated. "It's why I came up here."

"Oh trust me, they're done there. Just listen," Varric said before pausing so the other two could listen to the catcalls in the bar. "All the noise those men are making is cheering those two on."

"Cheering them on?" Fenris asked perplexed.

"Rivaini's 'show' she mentioned earlier," Varric explained, suddenly Varric was the only one in his room as the mage and warrior dashed for the stairs leaving Varric laughing in his suite. "Guess I could go watch too."

Anders practically fell down the stairs with the elf on his heels in his haste to see this show Isabela had alluded to during lunch.

"Do you see them?" Anders asked, turning to the elf. Fenris just pointed to the back corner not far from where the two men were standing. Anders followed his arm and noticed the two raven haired women sitting on a bench next to each other in the corner. Isabela was wearing the same outfit she always wore, but without the arm guard. Hawke however, looked completely different. Her clothes were form fitting and showed off every delectable curve. Her long sleeved shirt was a deep scarlet, with a plunging neckline that showed off a surprising amount of creamy cleavage, she also wore a black leather corset with matching scarlet ribbing that boosted her cleavage and minimized her waist leaving nothing to Anders' already active imagination. Her breeches were black leather as well, and hugged her hips and thighs so well it looked like they had been painted on. She wore black leather boots that went up to her knees, and had a wedge heel of two inches. Just the sight of his fascinating, mystery woman in those clothes made his pants feel uncomfortable tight, and Anders had to shift to try to relieve his growing erection.

Hawke was turned towards Isabela, with one of her shapely legs thrown over the other woman's thighs. She was leaning in whispering in Isabela's ear caressing the arm nearest to her. Meanwhile Isabela was absentmindedly stroking Hawke's thigh across her legs. Isabela's sultry laugh at whatever Hawke whispered in her ear broke the pervading quiet that had settled over the bar as the men all watched the two women. Isabela grabbed the mug next to her and took a drink before she started whispering in Hawke's ear, and moved from stroking her thigh, to caressing her collar bone.

"Do they do this often?" Anders whispered, not daring to look away but knowing Varric was near by.

"Whenever they get bored," Varric replied.

"Are they…" Anders trailed off, not wanting to really know the answer.

"Together?" Varric laughed. "No. This is just something they do to break the monotony of the bar scene. On busy nights like tonight they can make a lot of gold."

"They sell themselves?" Fenris asked the disgust evident in his voice.

"Ancestors no," Varric stated, sounding horrified. "The men in the bar throw money at them when they do something they like. See."

As if on cue, a couple gold sovereigns sailed across the room and landed at the two women's feet. Hawke bent over to pick up the coins, practically falling out of her top, before slipping them into her shirt with a wink and a kiss to the cheering crowd.

"Hawke keeps most of the money for the expedition, but Isabela gets a cut too," Varric explained further.

"Do they know how…distracting they are?"

"That's the point elf," Varric chuckled. "It seems to be every man's fantasy to see two women all over each other, as you can tell by the crowd they've gathered."

Hawke suddenly moved and straddled Isabela causing all the men to groan in pleasure. Isabela wrapped her arms around Hawke, grabbed Hawke's arse and pulled her in closer, which made Hawke squeal in surprise and delight. Anders noticed several coins get tossed this time, and watched in fascination as Isabela supported Hawke around her waist and held her as Hawke leaned back and from an upside down position grabbed the coins at Bela's feet.

"Maker," Anders whispered, his mouth going dry at the sight of Hawke's lithe body bent back in such a seductive pose. "I can see why they don't do this when Carver's around."

"Junior would have a heart attack if he saw his sister like this," Varric laughed in agreement.

On her way back up to a sitting position, Anders swore Hawke noticed him in the crowd. Sure enough when she was sitting up-right she glanced over her right shoulder and met his gaze, giving him a wink before turning back to Isabela. After a moment, Isabela's face peeked over Hawke's same shoulder before disappearing and Anders heard Hawke's musical laugh mix with Isabela's sultry chuckle.

"Varric, I have to admit something," Anders started, "I had every intention of following your advice but now I'm not so sure I can."

"Blondie, if I had known you would be witness to this little scene I would never have given you that advice," Varric chuckled honestly. "Even as an upstanding dwarf, _I'm_ having a hard time not wanting those two."

"You're awfully quiet elf," Varric said after a few moments.

"Words do not need to be said when enjoying a sight like this," Fenris declared.

"Well, I've seen enough," Varric stated and Anders could hear his feet ascend the stone steps back to his rooms.

Isabela had kept her hands behind Hawke, but they were running up and down her back, caressing her while the two continued to whisper. Finally Bela's hands disappeared and Hawke stood up, bent at the hips her body at a right angle displaying her arse to the crowd, her hands using the wall behind Bela to support herself as she whispered further to the pirate. Hawke straightened up, grabbed her mug on the bench and helped Isabela stand up, much to the displeasure of the tavern crowd. Even Anders and Fenris groaned in protest when the two raven haired ladies began gathering the few remaining coins on the ground and walked to the stairs up to Varric's suite.

"You must enjoy playing with fire," Anders commented to Hawke once they entered Varric's suite.

"Fire's my specialty," Hawke stated with a playful grin as she sat down in one of the chairs, one of her legs kicked over the armrest. "Bela when finally I agreed to this outfit, I had no idea it would be so well received."

"I told you those robes were holding you back," Isabela said with a wink and a gleam in her eye as she sat next to Hawke. "Now how much did we make?"

"Give me a minute!" Hawke said reaching into her shirt to begin pulling out the stashed coins.

"I could help you with that," Anders blurted out from across the table, as he watched Hawke expose more of her cleavage by pulling her shirt down just little further each time she reached in for coins.

"I'm sure you could," Hawke laughed, continuing to fish coins out of her shirt, "but you're not going to get to help."

"I'm hurt Hawke," Anders pouted. "Right here in my big, mage heart."

"More like you're big, bruised ego," Isabela laughed, refilling her and Hawke's mug from the pitcher of ale on the table.

"I think that's the last one," Hawke gleefully cried out, after pulling yet another two sovereigns out of her shirt and laying it with the rest. She gave them a quick count. "Ha-ha, fifteen, I think that's a new record. How many do you want, Bela?"

"I'll take five, that should last me until the next time we do this," Isabela said with a wink to her partner in crime and grabbing the coins in question, only to place them safely in her own cleavage. Hawke gathered up the last of the coins of the table, jumped up and disappeared in the direction of Varric's bed.

"Where's she going?" Anders asked, confused.

"Her uncle's a big time loser who spends coin like we breathe air," Varric replied with a one shoulder shrug. "She has a money pouch hidden here where she keeps most of the money for the expedition. Then her uncle can't steal the coin and spend it without her knowledge."

"Before I forget, Carver and I were able to get together the supplies we'll need for our trip up Sundermount," Hawke said, coming back to the table sans coins. "So we'll all meet at Gamlen's in the morning, mother's already prepared to make you all breakfast, so come hungry and after we eat, we'll set out. But for tonight, let's play some Wicked Grace!"

Varric already had the deck of cards out, and dealt everyone in. Anders was amazed at the easy camaraderie Hawke displayed towards everyone, she was even able to get Fenris to chuckle a few time while they played cards for a couple hours. Watching her, Anders could understand now the warning Varric had given him, Hawke was indeed the center of this social group and Varric was concerned for his business partner.

Anders was amazed that by the end of the night, he had made a little extra money. Finally Hawke let out a jaw cracking yawn, and declared it was time to call it a night.

"I can walk you home," Anders volunteered. "Then I know where your uncle's place is for the morning."

"Oh, good idea," Hawke agreed, performing a very cat like stretch before standing to leave. "As always Bela, it was fun."

"One of these days I'll convince you to ramp up the show," Bela smirked at Hawke, as the ladies exchanged a single kiss of the cheek.

"Doubtful," Hawke smirked back. "We don't need them going catatonic."

"Good night everyone," Hawke said, with her signature wave as she walked out of Varric's suite. She led the way to the door, exchanging a few words with some of the patrons and waving at Corff on the way out. Once outside, Hawke stopped and took a deep breath of the night air as if clearing out her lungs before turning right.

"My uncle's place isn't far," Hawke explained to Anders, as he stepped up next to her and kept pace.

"Do you know you're unfair?" Anders finally asked, perturbed.

"Unfair?" Hawke scoffed.

"Yes, unfair," Anders reiterated. "I had every intention of being a gentleman, and then you go and wear those dangerously delicious clothes."

"Blame Bela," Hawke laughed, turning to climb a short set of stairs. "She's the one who convinced me to buy this outfit today but I'll let her know you think it's dangerously delicious. Well this is my uncle's place," Hawke pointed towards the door.

"You do live close to the Hanged Man," Anders chuckled. "You know I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight."

"Why's that?" Hawke asked, turning to look up at Anders as she leaned against the wall behind her.

"Because of you in these bloody, sexy clothes," Anders stated. "You make it very hard on a man who's already dreaming about you."

"Maybe I enjoy being difficult," Hawke teased, reaching out with one finger and grabbing a buckle on Anders' coat, pulling him towards her. "Maybe I like driving you crazy."

"Well it's working," Anders chuckled softly, stepping towards her without resistance. "When I first saw you tonight, it took all my strength not to undress you right there in the middle of the crowded bar and make love to you right then."

"We did just leave an inn," Hawke smirked suggestively, running her hands up his stomach, through the feathers on his chest and shoulders and stopping at his neck.

"Maker's breathe woman, you-" before Anders could finish his sentence, Hawke's petite hand pulled his head towards her for a searing kiss. Anders didn't fight this sexy mage; he tried to let her set the pace this time. He pulled her taut body close to him and held her like she was his lifeline. Hawke nibbled his bottom lip causing Anders to groan with desire, before thrusting her tongue in his mouth and deepening the kiss.

Anders couldn't handle it anymore; he backed her up against the wall and held her arms above her head with one hand, while the other was free to explore her shapely figure. He broke the kiss, and began nibbling and kissing her jaw line. He gave her earlobe a gently bite, causing her whole body to shudder. He kissed and licked his way down her pale neck to her collarbone before licking and nibbling his way down to her breasts. He heard her whisper his name, then ask for more and he was only too happy to meet her demands. With his free hand, he pulled her shirt down, exposing both milky breasts to the pale moonlight. He greedily started kissing and licking one taut nipple while his hand caressed and played with the other. Hawke whimpered, begging for him not to stop, so Anders switched hands and began lavishing kisses on the other breast while fondling the first.

Anders then began cursing this sexy outfit, since there was no easy way to continue giving Hawke the attention her body was currently demanding. He slowly pulled away from her pert breasts, and fixed her shirt so they were again hidden from view, which caused Hawke to protest.

"Now my dear," Anders admonished. "Unless you actually plan on going back to the inn with me, this outfit no matter how delicious is not made for quick tumbles in the street."

"I suppose," Hawke grumbled in agreement. "Now you won't be the only one having erotic dreams."

"I wager not," Anders chuckled, giving Hawke one last kiss before backing away. "Although we will be traveling together for a week, we may be able to sneak off."

"Risky move," Hawke stated. "Especially since my brother will be with us but I'm willing to try. Goodnight Anders."

"Goodnight Hawke."


	9. A Snake and A Surprise

It had been the most agonizing two days of Anders' life. Spending his time this close to Hawke, but unable to do anything about his increasingly wild dreams at night was making it difficult to even be near her, especially when she usually slept a few feet away from him when in camp. Their third day out of Kirkwall they discovered a small stream with a waterfall and everyone was delighted at the chance to take a swim in the cool waters.

The group set up camp within hearing distance of the stream, but not too close to keep wildlife away from their water source. While they set up camp, each person would go off by themselves in order to enjoy a moment of peace while bathing. As Anders watched Hawke leave, he couldn't help but stare after her wistfully wishing he could take part in helping her bathe. After Hawke disappeared into the tree he went back to the task of making the camp fire, but not without first meeting Isabela's smirk. Anders felt his face warm as he broke his gaze with the pirate and turned away only to notice Fenris also staring at the place in the forest where Hawke had disappeared.

_Strange, he looks like I feel_. Anders thought to himself. _But I thought he hated mages, the way he stares after her though...it's like he's looking at something he wants but doesn't dare touch._ Dismissing the thoughts, Anders soon had a nice blaze going, thanks to a little magic. Suddenly the peace in camp was broken by a terrified scream. Everyone was on their feet instantly, trying to figure out where the scream had come from. They heard another weaker scream, coming from the direction of the stream.

"Mari!" Carver yelled out, barreling through the foliage trying to get to his sister. Anders, Fenris, and Isabela quickly fell into step behind him, letting him clear a trail. When they broke through the clearing, they were greeted with a naked Hawke, crawling away along her back from what looked like a burning branch. Anders without thought took off his coat and placed it over Hawke's crawling form.

"Snake," Fenris state, kicking the blackened corpse.

"It bit me," Hawke declared. Anders looked at her face, and could see her lips turning blue around the edges from the poison in her system.

"How many times?" Anders asked, the healer taking over.

"Two, maybe three times," she answered unsure. Anders noticed her eyelids beginning to droop.

"Hawke, I need you to stay awake," Anders said calling to her as he began searching for the bite wounds. "Hawke, do you understand?" Her eyes closed, which caused Anders heartbeat to quicken. "Hawke!" Still nothing and her breathes were starting to slow too. "Marianna!" Anders heard her breath hitch as if struggling to breathe.

"Mari," Anders tried gently. Her eyes snapped open and she looked confused for a moment before focusing on his face.

"Say it again," she said her voice thick but there was a slight smile on her blue tinged lips.

"Mari, I need you to stay awake," Anders tried again. "I know it's hard, the poison is slowing down your heart but I need you to focus on Bela's voice. She's going to talk to you, help you stay awake while I heal you, okay?"

Hawke nodded to him, while Bela knelt behind Hawke cradling her head and shoulders on her thighs and talked to her, keeping her awake. Anders continued to examine Hawke's body, and found one bite on her hand and two on one of her legs at the ankle and the foot.

"Fenris, I need you to heat up some of our drinking water make it warm but not boiling, bring it to me when it's ready. Carver, I need you to grab my pack it has all my healing supplies in it," Anders was vaguely aware of the two warriors running off as he turned to Isabela. "Keep her awake Bela; I don't care what you talk about. If she falls asleep again, her heart could stop and I don't know what kind of damage would occur."

Anders began a general healing spell to slow the poison in her blood. By this time Carver had hurried back with his pack, Anders quickly pulled out a bandage and split it even further, tying one band of cloth around her forearm, the other he tied around her calf to help restrict the flow of venom. All the while Anders was aware of Isabela and Hawke speaking, it seemed the pirate was telling her a story while Hawke would occasionally have questions.

"Carver, I need you to grab one of the bandages, I'm going to extract the poison and I need you to wipe it away as it comes out."

"Why don't you just heal her?" Carver asked, evident concern tingeing his voice.

"I don't know what kind of snake bit her," Anders answered plainly. "If I try to cure her in the wrong way, it'll only hurt her more."

Carver grabbed some extra cloth bandages and nodded to Anders. Anders lifted Hawke left arm, and began searching along its length for the poison, as he found the poison, his healing spell shifted to incorporate some of Karl's levitation and he began shifting the poison against her blood stream and out the holes in her hand. The pink, milky substance made Carver balk at first until Anders assured him it was supposed to look like that. By this point, Fenris had emerged from the direction of camp and was carrying a cook pot with steam rising from inside.

"Fenris, when I have cleared the poison from her arm, I'm going to need you to gently clean the bite mark, which means you'll need to lose the gauntlets." Fenris' grimaced, but removed the gauntlets without a word and found a washcloth in Anders' bag. "Mari, how are you feeling?"

"Okay," she answered weakly. "My arm doesn't hurt quite so much anymore."

"That's good, that means I got most of the poison out of you arm. I'm going to do one more pass before I move onto your leg."

"Okay," she agreed, looking at everyone gathered around her. "I'm sorry to cause everyone such a problem."

"None of that sweetness," Isabela purred above her, her fingers running through Hawke's short tresses. "How could you know the snake would attack you out of no where? It's not your fault and we blame the snake, not you."

"Thanks," Hawke said, chuckling feebly. "Fenris, tell me a story."

"Hawke…I…don't know any," Fenris replied hesitantly.

"Make something up or tell me about one of the times you were running from the hunters," Hawke suggested, as Anders gently handed Fenris her hand so he could clean the snake bite when he knelt next to her. Fenris began telling her of one the slavers attempts to hunt him down before he had met Hawke. Hawke listened eagerly, and would pose the occasional question when she wanted more information. All the while Anders continued to extract the poison from Hawke's body, and his heart lifted when the blue in her lips was no longer present. Anders only had to stop once to replenish his mana and after a thorough examination, when he could no longer find any traces of the snake's poison in her body, he closed up the wounds and then carried her body, still wrapped in his coat back to camp.

"We'll need to stay here for an extra day just to make sure Mari's in the clear," Anders told the rest of the group following him. He brought her over to the single tent currently set up, and managed to get her inside where he laid her gently down on one of the bedrolls inside.

"You should rest for a few hours. Let me know if you have any discomfort or pain. And don't _ever_ do that to me again," Anders told her gently as he sat down next to her.

"What? Go for a swim? Scream like a girl? Or accidentally have you see me naked?" Hawke queried, humor dancing in her eyes.

"Almost die," Anders reproached, cupping her cheek in his hand.

"Oh that," Hawke tried to rebound from the pain that flickered across her eyes before she continued good-naturedly. "I wasn't worried, I had you. It was about time I got to see what kind of healer you are. I just didn't expect it to be first hand experience."

"If this was a test to see how good a healer I am, I am not amused," Anders stated with a little anger.

"Hawke," Isabela's voice broke in as she ducked her head into the tent. "I brought your clothes and things back from the stream."

"Thanks Bela," Hawke replied sitting up to grab the bundle from her pirate friend. "Do you think you could find my pack? It seems I've been bedridden."

"Of course kitten, I'll be right back," Isabela promised before leaving. The tension between Anders and Hawke grew without the pirate's presence to diffuse the words he had said to Hawke. After a couple minutes of silence, Isabela brought back the pack in question, sensed the unease of the tent and made a hasty retreat.

"I'm sorry," Hawke finally whispered into the tent, still clutching Anders coat to her body as if it were a shield. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I diffuse tense situations with humor. I picked it up from my father."

"I understand," Anders finally said back to her, standing to leave. "Just get some sleep Mari and when you wake up we'll try to get you something to eat."

"Don't leave," Hawke pleaded, grabbing his hand before he could exit the tent.

"You'll sleep better if I'm not here, trust me with the way you're dressed, or not dressed rather, I would be too distracted to let you sleep."

"Blame it on me. Say you had to make sure there were no ill effects from the venom while I slept. I'll put on some clothes. Just don't leave."

"Why do you want me to stay so badly?" Anders asked, crouching down beside her.

"I…well…I…" Hawke looked into his eyes quickly before looking away and whispering out: "I feel safe near you."

"Really?" Anders' surprise was evident in the question.

"It's why I always sleep near you when we camp at night. It's why I let you escort me home after that night at the Hanged Man after my rather provocative show with Bela. It's why I let you kiss me that first day we met."

Anders gawked at the slight mage still holding his hand but not daring to look him in the eye for the fear of rejection. He finally took her chin gently in his other hand and forced her to meet his eyes. Tears were brimming in her eyes, making the cerulean depths sparkle.

"Do you mean that?" he finally choked out.

"I haven't felt that kind of safety since my father was killed by templars," Hawke babbled unsure of herself and his reaction to her statement. "Ever since he made me promise to look after the family, I have always led. It drives Carver crazy but the few times I let him take the lead, he invariably makes a smart arse comment that gets him into trouble. Even here in Kirkwall everyone looks to me to lead them. But I don't feel nearly as safe with them, as I do with you. I…I can't explain it."

Unable to meet Anders' gaze any longer, she closed her eyes and some of the tears leaked out of the corners. He removed his hand from her chin to wipe away her tears, but as soon as he let go of her face, Hawke let go of his hand and backed off, afraid of his continuing silence.

"I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have said anything," Hawke whispered, struggling with the bundle of clothes Isabela had delivered, while swiping at her traitorous eyes. "If you give me a few minutes, I can give your coat back to you."

Anders still hadn't moved yet as he watched Hawke unfold the clothes in the bundle. He was stunned by her confession and couldn't think what to say but it was obvious from her movements, she thought he had rejected her. Her busy hand suddenly stopped and she sighed.

"Please leave," Hawke breathed out, sounding very weary.

Anders stood and left, and it wasn't until he heard the tent flap gently slap the other that dread settled like a stone in his stomach. He had just done what Varric had warned him not to do: he had hurt Hawke.


	10. Freedom to Fall in Love

A/N: So these last two chapters have totally _not_ gone the way I had initially picture them in my mind. But that's okay, I like 'em and it's great the story is taking me down different avenues and basically writing itself. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

They had been back in Kirkwall for a week, and Hawke had been avoiding Anders, not that he really blamed her, she had bared a piece of her soul to him, and he said nothing. Even now, he wasn't sure what to say. Her admission to feeling safe with him had be a surprise and unfathomable, not unwelcome just strange. He knew he needed to apologize, he just wasn't sure how to go about it or even what to say to her.

Anders could be thankful for the fact that Varric had not made good on his threat…yet. Maybe he could speak to the dwarf, get him to understand, help him reach Hawke. He could also try going to her home in Lowtown, see if he could find her there. He had no patients currently, so with a fire in his step that had been missing since he had hurt Hawke, he made his way to her uncle's place in Lowtown. He got to the door of the hovel, and hesitated with his hand hovering before the door about to knock. He still wasn't sure what to say if Hawke was actually inside, but if he didn't at least try to apologize he would regret it. He finally knocked, after a few moments a gangly man with a scowl answered.

"What do you want?" he groused out.

"I'm looking for Hawke, is she here?" Anders asked trying to meet the semi-drunken gaze of the man Anders could only assume was her uncle.

"Anders?" Leandra breezed towards the door, trying to usher him into the shack. "Come in, come in. I'm sorry to say that Mari isn't here right now."

"Do you know when she might return?" Anders inquired hope filling his voice as he remained at the threshold.

"No, I'm sorry, she's out doing a favor for Isabela and Meeran," Leandra replied graciously, but her mouth twisted in a frown at the mention of the mercenary leader, telling Anders she did not approve of his task. "I can let her know you stopped by when she gets home."

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that," Anders said, turning to head towards the Hanged Man, and hopefully talk to a possibly angry dwarf. He quickly made his way to the tavern, and hustled up the stairs to Varric's suite. The door to Varric's room was opened, but he found neither leather nor chest hair of the dwarf who lived here. So Anders settled into one of the chairs around the table and waited impatiently for the dwarf to return while trying to think what he would say to Hawke.

"What do you want, Anders?" Varric's normally jovial voice tense with an unknown emotion, finally broke through Anders silent contemplation.

"I need to find Hawke," Anders answered, as he watched Varric removed Bianca as started polishing his precious crossbow.

"I did warn you," Varric stated simple, not bothering to look at the mage. "Why should I help you with this?"

"I'm trying to find her to apologize," Anders replied, unable to tear his gaze from the fearsome crossbow pointed at his head.

"It'll take more than a simple apology."

"I know, but I have to try. She confessed to me something so unfathomable, so surprising that I didn't know what to say. I was blind-sided, caught off guard and when she asked me to leave, I did. I…I want to try to fix it," Anders blurted out as Varric loaded a bolt into Bianca's firing chamber.

"Unfathomable eh?" Varric asked letting Bianca lower a bit as he finally met the mage's eyes. "I suppose I can let her know you're looking for her, but whether she comes to see you is up to her."

"Thank you Varric," Anders whispered.

"You should thank Bianca. She's feeling a little forgiving today," Varric said reverently placing the crossbow on an empty shelf designed to hold his weapon. "Besides, Hawke was in true glib form today. Went to a warehouse with guards and started screaming about a non-existent fire. She got the guards to run checking for the fire while we got inside the warehouse. Funniest thing I've seen in awhile." Varric chuckled, before continuing: "Care for a drink?"

"I should get back to my clinic," Anders said rising from his seat. Anders had made it to the door when Varric called to him one more time.

"Blondie?" Anders turned to look over his shoulder at Varric's call. "Fair warning, Bianca may not be so generous, if you do it again."

"Understood," was all Anders said before leaving the tavern for his clinic.

* * *

It had been a quiet evening, and Anders had extinguished the lanterns for his clinic a couple hours ago. The doors to his clinic were closed but not locked yet, since he was hoping Hawke would come to see him. He was sitting at his desk writing, first it was a list of supplies for the clinic, and he intended to give it to Lirene the next time he was in Lowtown. Now he was scribbling ideas for a paper or manifesto about mage freedom haphazardly on another couple pieces of parchment.

"I understand you've been looking for me," a voice said quietly next to him, causing Anders to jump, knocking over the chair he was sitting in and turn on the intruder in surprise.

"Mari! Oh Maker, you scared the piss out of me," Anders said pulling in a few deep breaths to still his fast beating heart. "Isabela must be teaching you how to sneak around."

"What did you want?" a touch of venom in her voice as she crossed her arms in front of her and stared him down.

"I needed to apologize," Anders responded, fighting the itch to want to touch her. Hawke's eyes narrow at his admission, but she says nothing and continues to stare at him with her aquamarine eyes. "You have to realize that my whole life I've been told I was dangerous because I'm a mage, just one step away from giving into blood magic and being an abomination. Then to have you admit, to my face, that you feel safe with me…"

"But you didn't say anything," Hawke replied fiercely, arms uncrossing as she came and poked him in the chest in anger. "You didn't _do_ anything. You just stared at me, and I couldn't even read the expression on you face. It was like you put up this wall and I couldn't get in."

"I was blind-sighted," Anders confirmed. "You actually managed to catch me off guard. Something very few people can achieve, mind you."

"And why should I believe any of this?" Hawke asked, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. "For all I know, this could be an elaborate hoax to try and get under my robes. You've had a week to plan and think. Why should I believe you?"

"I…well…" Anders was flummoxed. _What is it about her that always makes me tongue tied?_

"Good bye Anders," Hawke said with so much finality, Anders knew he would never see her again if she walked out that door.

"Wait, please Mari, don't go," he called after her. She stopped at the door to the clinic, her hand on the door but she didn't turn to face him, she just waited. "Here's some truth: you fascinate me, you have from the first moment I saw you at Tomwise's stall, and the first time I heard you laugh." With each confession, Anders took a step towards her. "I enjoy your company and not just because you're a mage, which is wonderful by the way. You're humorous, easy to talk to, selfless, you're a big ball of energy and its hard not to get caught up in your wake. But I'm rubbish when it comes to showing someone these things, or even telling them. I'm all flash and charm."

"You're not rubbish," Hawke whispered to the door. Anders by this point was standing right behind her and he could feel the heat of her body because of their proximity, but as much as he wanted to touch her, he was afraid if he did, she would spook like a hare and be gone forever.

"Sure I am," injecting some humor into his tone. "Complete rubbish, I'm just trying to make myself look like a pretty boy, why do you think I have the earring?"

"I like your earring," Hawke admitted, finally turning around. She reached up a hand, a small smile on her lip, and gently tugged the gold hoop in his ear. "It suits you, makes you look more the part of the rebel mage."

"Ha-ha, see you already know me so well," Anders said capturing her hand and kissing her knuckles like he did the first day we met. A thrill ran through him straight to his groin when Hawke's breath caught and he watched her eyes darken with desire.

"I'm just unsure if all your slick talk is because you want me or you like me," Hawke stated defiantly, staring at Anders lips still hovering close to her knuckles, his warm breath cascading over her hand.

"Sweetheart, there's no reason it can't be both," Anders grinned down at her with an express amusement dancing in his eyes. Anders tenderly turned Hawke's hand over so it was palm up, and he kissed her palm enjoying how her hand started to shake under the attention. "Why do you fight me so much?"

"Because I'm careful, I've been burned once already by someone and I really don't want it to happen again," Hawke stated firmly, pulling her traitorous, trembling hand from Anders' grasp. "In Lothering, there was a young man who would come get drinks at the bar. He would always flirt with me, and at first I just brushed him off, so certain he flirted with all the women there. But then I heard some of the other barmaids complaining that he never flirted with them and they wanted to know what I had done to get his attention. I wasn't sure, I couldn't even fathom it. He was handsome, true but I was just a local girl from Lothering."

"You sell yourself short," Anders interjected.

"Maybe but before Birk, I was so busy hiding my abilities trying not to be seen that I couldn't imagine someone being interested in me. He brought me out of my unobservant shell, and I flirted back but I was so timid. I didn't know what I was doing. After a few weeks, he kissed me after walking me home from the bar. After a few more weeks of kissing, sometimes tender, sometimes passionate, Birk and I…well…umm…"

"Made love?" Anders choked out the words, trying to close his mind's eye from the images of his Mari with another man.

"Yes," she coughed delicately, moving to sit down on one of the cots in the clinic. "He left me when he was done with me, told me I wasn't any good. He would ignore me in the tavern. He started flirting with another of the barmaids. He was rude to me when I would bring him drinks. I know it was stupid of me but I was so inexperience, I thought he cared for me. I thought he loved me, he even told me as such. But it was all lies, he lied to get what he wanted and when he was done…he just left without a look back. Then he went to Ostagar with my brother. He didn't come back; my brother said he got cut down by darkspawn."

Anders didn't know what to say, yet again. So he sat next to Mari, and put his arms around her pulling her close to him as he hugged her. As he sat there holding her, everything clicked into place. The reasons for her reticence, it wasn't because she didn't actually care for him, didn't actually want him, it was because she was scared he only wanted one thing from her.

"Mari, I won't deny that I want you, I'm still having dreams about you from that day at the Hanged Man," Anders expressed, causing Hawke to giggle quietly in his arms. "But now that I have no phylactery tying me to templars, I'm a free man. And I want to be able to experience everything men experience: love, life, liberty, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." Another giggle from Hawke and she turned her face into his neck. "And if I'm really lucky, I'll find a pretty girl who will love me as much as I love her and would want to have a family."

"Pretty girl right here you know," Hawke murmured into his neck.

"Really? I hadn't noticed. Are you sure you're a pretty girl?" Anders joked, and was rewarded with Hawke's musical laughter that he was beginning to love to hear.

"Not to put a damper on this, but you sound like my father," Hawke told him, pulling away to meet his honeyed gaze. "He said all he wanted while living in the circle was the chance to fall in love and then he managed to meet my mother. They fell in love and a templar helped him escape."

"A templar, really?" Anders asked in disbelief.

"Carver's namesake, it turns out," Hawke confirmed, snuggling back into the crook of his neck. "This was before Meredith took over, when the rules of the order were a little more relaxed and open to interpretation."

"I wonder if anymore templars exist like that now," Anders mused.

"I guess we'll just have to keep your eyes and ears open," Hawke uttered, and Anders could feel her shrug.

Anders began feeling a bit braver with Hawke snuggled so close to him, so he moved one of his arms under her knees and picked her up to deposit her sideways on his lap.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, perplexed as she let go of him.

"Enjoying you," Anders replied saucily.

"Enjoying me? And what makes you think I enjoy you?" she sassed, with a wink.

"Oh ouch, dagger right through my heart," Anders laughed. "I think I'll just have to prove to you how much you enjoy me."

"I doubt you could," Hawke quipped, a smirk playing across her full lips.

"Challenge accepted," Anders countered with a devilish grin, before kissing her neck and jaw line. Hawke sighed and tilted her head back, giving him more access to her neck as she reached around fisting her hand in his bound up hair, causing his blonde hair to come undone.

"I don't really like the clothes you're wearing today either," Anders commented on the robes she was wearing with a high neck, giving very little access to her creamy shoulders.

"You seemed to like the leather outfit well enough," she reminded him.

"Yes I very much indeed did, but these robes, with the collar up to your neck and no skin showing. It's very disheartening," he pouted at Hawke. "It's like you enjoy tormenting me."

"I already told you I did," she winked at him.

"You just make it so hard," he whined.

"Do I?" she asked, as she shifted her hip against his groin, sending a jolt of pleasure through his body. "Yes, I suppose I do."

"You have been spending too much time with Isabela," he groused, which made Hawke burst out in a fit of laughter, causing her to slide off his lap onto the cot behind her.

"Maybe I have," she replied after her laughter had subsided, she then lay back on the cot with her arms behind her head and looked at him with hooded, cobalt eyes.

Anders could only stare at the beautiful mage, her cobalt eyes meeting his toffee colored ones, and he found a growing desire to have this fascinating woman here and now. He also knew, if he pushed his luck he would never see her again, so he took a chance. He angled his body so he was facing her and moved his hand under her robes, and began inching his way up her shapely leg, stroking and caressing as he went.

"What are you doing?" Hawke's husky voice asked, causing Anders to raise an eyebrow at the passion dripping from the question.

"Playing," he answered simply, as he continued probing up her leg until he reached her hot center. He rubbed her core with his knuckle through her small clothes, causing her to groan at the touch. He felt his own erection twitch at the groan, but Anders knew this was about her right now. He could forgo his own comfort until later. He rubbed her again, and even though her eyes drifted close, he knew he had her attention. He pushed aside the fabric of her smalls and tested her opening with his index finger causing Hawke to gasp and her eyes to fly open. He was surprised at how wet she was, so all he did was grin down at her as his index thrust into her. Hawke squirmed with pleasure, and she moaned his name, which only made him harder in response. Her arms were no longer behind her head, but rather trying to pull up the fabric of her robes to give him better access but she soon gave up and one hand gripped the fabric of her robes pooling at her hip and the other grabbed the edge of the cot.

He began working his index finger inside her, stretching her, because she was so tight. As he began thrusting his finger faster and faster, Hawke's breathes became gasps and she would occasionally say his name and it was just as he had imagined. When it seemed she was loose enough, he slipped a second finger inside her, and marveled at her warmth and the moan that escaped her lips. He began thrusting into her with two fingers, and watched as she began writhing on the cot. Soon he moved his thumb to her nerve center, and began rubbing her there in time with his thrusting. Hawke's hips tilted, and her back arced as the nerves in her body began dancing with sensation. Moans were ripped from her lips as Anders' fingers kept up their rhythm. She was close and a slow grin blossomed on Anders' face as he sent a tiny jolt of lightning through his fingers into Hawke, causing her to buck and shatter at his touch. Her muscles clenching around his fingers as her orgasm continued from the electricity still coursing through her body.

He slowed the pace of his fingers, as he watched her convulsions slow. When her body calmed, he stopped as well, pulled his fingers from her and licked them clean, enjoying her salty taste. Then he waited for her reaction. He watched a slow smile light up her face as she looked at him with sated eyes.

"Mmm, that was…" she could only finish with a throaty, sultry chuckle, as she ran her hands through her hair and looked much like a cat as she continued to smile at him.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"So that's the lightning thing?" she sat up a little and leaned on her elbows.

"Guilty," Anders admitted.

Hawke tilted her head back and she hummed to herself as her body shivered at the memory.

"When you feel you can move properly, I can walk you home," Anders said with a grin, watching her with fascination.

"What about-"her head snapped up to look at him.

"That's not necessary," Anders interrupted. "When you want to reciprocate you can, but you are under no obligation tonight. This was just about you," he answered, causing her smile to deepen even more, since he understood her so well already.

She shivered again, before she sat up, took his face between her hands and gave him a tender kiss. "Thank you," she whispered, a small smirk playing on her lips.

"You are most welcome."

When she was ready to go, she stood up and straightened her robes. She stuck out her hand for him to take, and all the way to her home they walked hand in hand. He left her at her uncle's hovel, giving her another gentle kiss before she went inside. Anders found himself missing the feel of her small hand, as he made his way back to his Darktown clinic.


	11. Life Discussion

It was a warm day, and Anders was miserable. They had spent most of the day searching for a half-elf boy with magic across half of Kirkwall and the Wounded Coast. They were now trekking up Sundermount to the Dalish camp, escorting the lad Feynriel to the camp to ensure the templars didn't whisk him off to the circle. It was currently the hottest time of the day, and Anders stumbled to a stop in some shade. Even though Hawke was leading and having the occasional conversation with Feynriel, she noticed Anders halt to lean against the tree and came to see if he was alright. Before she even got close, she stopped and stared at him.

"Anders, what's wrong?" her question rolled through his head, as he began patting his body for the water skin he was carrying.

"We waste time with this delay, let us be done with this," Fenris snapped at the two mages.

"Shove it Fenris," Hawke snapped at the elf, causing him to flinch at her words before he grimaced. Hawke walked up to Anders and placed the back of her hand to his forehead. "You don't look so good and you feel clammy. Take off your coat."

"I knew you just wanted to see me naked," before Anders took a gulp from his water skin.

"No," Hawke said rolling her eyes. "I don't need you going delirious from heat exhaustion." She began undoing the buckles on Anders' coat, since he seemed to be in no shape to help her. When she had all the buckles undone, she slid the coat from his broad shoulders, thankful he was wearing a light-weight cotton shirt underneath. "Sit," she ordered Anders, and he sank to the ground without comment. She handed back his water skin and instructed him to take small sips. She then removed the dagger hidden in her belt, and cut off a strip of cloth from the end of her robes. She then split the cloth into two pieces before placing the dagger back in her belt again.

"Bela, can I get your water skin?" Hawke asked the rogue, who stepped up quickly and handed her the requested item. She dumped water over the strips of cloth and folded one and placed it on Anders' forehead.

"That feels good," Anders moaned, leaning his head back on the tree and enjoying the feel of the cool cloth on his forehead. Hawke then began dabbing his neck and what she could see of his chest before settling the cloth on the back of his neck. "Why are you so nice to me?" Anders slurred out, when Hawke paused in her ministrations.

"Because you are in no condition to take care of yourself," Hawke answered. "I just wish I was better at healing." She cast a healing spell on him, but added a touch of her cold magic to the spell to help lower his body temperature. Hawke watched Anders shiver before his eyes snapped open and his hazel eyes settled on her.

"Whoa, what was that?" his breath came out in a puff of frost, and Hawke winced realizing she may have put too much cold into the spell.

"Healing?" Hawke asked, looking guilty.

"Sweetheart, I think I'm going to have to teach you to be a better healer," Anders chided, gently. "But thank you none the less."

Anders stood slowly from the tree, and folded his coat before slinging it over his shoulder nonchalantly. "Well, shall we go?" he asked before starting up the mountain once more.

…

They made better time up the mountain this trip, since they knew where the Dalish where camped. That night they were able to sleep near the stream where Hawke had been bitten by the snake. As they gathered around the fire eating the dried meat, bread and cheese they had brought, Hawke noticed Fenris staring at her.

"What Fenris?" Hawke queried, not backing down from his emerald gaze.

"I wonder why a mage who claims not to practice blood magic carries a dagger," Fenris replied.

"Why do you carry a sword?" Hawke put forth.

"To better fight my enemies," Fenris stated, as if this should be obvious.

"Exactly," Hawke grinned at him over the fire pit, causing Isabela and Anders to chuckle. Hawke watched with amusement as Fenris normally stoic face screwed up in confusion, and then gaped at Hawke.

"I do not understand," Fenris finally replied.

"I carry a dagger because my father taught me to use it, in case I ever ran out of mana, couldn't use my staff or came against templars who stripped me of my ability to use magic," Hawke rolled her eyes as if this answer should be obvious.

"It's the last thing an enemy would expect of a mage," Isabela finished for her, giving her friend a grin.

"Exactly," Hawke said again before popping a piece of bread in her mouth with a smile.

"So it's…" Fenris started before trailing off.

"A last minute defense," Feynriel supplied, smiling at the mage who had offered him so much.

"See! Even Feynriel gets it," Hawke laughed smiling at the young mage. "Why is it so hard for you to understand that I have never used blood magic and never will?"

"All mages use blood magic if the need is great enough."

"So you say, but Merrill is the only mage I personally know of who has used blood magic. I don't use it, Anders doesn't, the Keeper doesn't, and my father and sister didn't, even when their lives were on the line. Maker or Creators willing, Feynriel never will, please don't okay?" she asked looking to the boy who vehemently shook his head no. "See, we're not in Tevinter. I wish you would judge us for _our_ actions, not what we are. I don't judge you or Merrill for being elves, I judge Merrill for being a blood mage sure, but not an elf. I don't judge Bela for being voluptuous. I don't judge Varric for being a dwarf. I don't judge my brother for being tall. I don't judge Anders for being blonde. All of these: accidents of birth. I can't help that I was born a mage."

"My being an elf is not the same."

"And why not?"

"It does not make me dangerous."

"But those lyrium marking do. How many people do you know of that can phase through living objects and crush a man's heart? Just you? So maybe they should make a special circle for you and any other warriors like you. Tell you what to do with your life, when to eat, sleep, or learn. Forget about freedom, you're too dangerous."

"Hawke…" Anders warned from her side as he watched the lyrium markings begin to glow on Fenris.

"All I'm trying to say is the circles aren't the answer. Fearing a person for what they might do, or judging the whole on the misdeeds of a few, is never the answer."

"You've thought about this a lot," Feynriel observed.

"I'm an apostate who has been in hiding her whole life because the system is broken. My father and I would sometimes have debates at night while watching the stars. He would always play the advocate for the chantry to get me to think about the issues in greater detail. It was one of the few times he could get me to settle down for a long period of time."

"You foolishly wish for things that will never be," Fenris stated.

"Maybe I do, but it's always better to dream of a better future than wallow in a crappy past."

"You know nothing of my life!" he yelled, standing and glaring at Hawke. His blue markings were lit up as bright as the fire.

"Did I say _your_ past? I said _a_ past," Hawke stated, not even seeming to be bothered by the elf looming over her in a glowing rage. The rest of the group held their breath as Fenris continued to stare at Hawke but she continued to stare into the fire and eat her bread. Finally after a long tense minute, as the markings began to flicker, Hawke spoke. "But you're right Fenris; I know very little of your past, or your life. But here's what I do know: your old master was a mage and treated you badly. You were malnourished, mistreated, probably beaten, treated as a possession, not a person, and all of that is _horrible_." Hawke raised her eyes from the fire and finally looked Fenris in the eyes. "You said once that I was not Danarius, and I'm not. I was raised to believe that all people are equal, you should not own another. Elf, dwarf, or human we all feel the same, bleed the same, die the same. I may be a mage, but I am _not_ Danarius."

Hawke finally stood up, finished with her conversation with Fenris and walked away from the fire towards the stream. Anders could only watch her departure, unsure if he should follow her or let her have some time away from the group. Fenris began pacing where he was standing, Arcanum curses bursting out of his mouth every one in awhile. After several long minutes while Feynriel, Isabela and Anders tried to ignore him, he finally dashed off in the direction Hawke disappeared.

"I better make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," Isabela remarked, as she ran off and melted into the shadows.

"Will he hurt her?" Feynriel asked, fear in his voice.

"I hope not," Anders replied honestly. "He has been known to be a bit…obstinate."

"I noticed," Feynriel chuckled quietly. "So is she though."

"I think she may be more strong-willed than stubborn," Anders supplied. "Mari has at least thought about these issues and come up with possible solutions. She sees the shades of grey in the world. Fenris only see black and white."

"Why did she bring him, if he hates mages so much?"

"We needed a strong arm, and in her brother Carver's word we tend to be 'delicate mage flowers.' Mari loves her brother but he does tend to rail against her leadership. So she brought the only other fighter she could."

Feynriel seemed to accept Anders explanation and the two mages fell into a companionable silence while they waited for the other three of their group to return. Eventually Anders noticed two figures emerge from the woods, and he started as he realized they were not the silhouettes of the mage.

"Where's Mari?" he demanded, standing up staring at the elf warrior.

"I did not hurt her," Fenris stated, looking a little mollified.

"Sweet thing just wanted to be alone for a little while," Isabela explained as she took out a bedroll and laid it within a safe distance from the fire.

Anders settled back down uneasily and waited anxiously for Hawke to come back to the fire. Anders agreed to take first watch while the others got some sleep, he wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway, not until she rejoined the camp. He kept watch, his anxiety climbing the longer Hawke was away. After a few hours had past, Fenris rose to take his turn at watch. Anders marveled at his ability to arise after so few hours of sleep and without someone to wake him, but he figured it must be from the years Fenris spent as a slave.

"Hawke did not return," Fenris commented.

"No, since you're awake I'm going to go see if she's okay," Anders said rising from his spot and stretching slightly from being sore.

"She was correct," Fenris stated.

"Pardon? Did you just say a mage was right?"

Fenris grimaced in the firelight but then acquiesced to Anders' question. "You should be judged for your actions, not those of Danarius."

"I don't know whether I should regret or look forward to that day," Anders muttered before moving off into the woods to find Hawke. It didn't take long for him to find the mound not far into the clearing. As he got closer to her, he noticed she was sleeping and probably had been for awhile but he also noticed tear tracks down her face that were lit up like silver in the moonlight. He felt his heart crack when he realized she had fallen asleep crying for some reason and had not wanted any of them to see her pain.

Anders noticed her shiver slightly, so he took off his coat and covered her petite form and was gladdened by the sigh that escaped her lips as she snuggled under his coat. He headed back to camp, though he desperately wanted to pull her into his arms while she slept. He assured the warrior that Hawke was fine and asleep and pulled out a bed roll to settle on. He fell asleep with Hawke's sigh echoing through his mind.


	12. Healing Arts

It had been a few days since Anders had seen Hawke and he was giving her the space she clearly wanted after she had cried herself to sleep on Sundermount. He remembered her returning his coat to him the next morning, a silent thank you in her eyes but at the same time almost like she was pleading with him not to reveal how she had fallen asleep. She didn't want the misfits to know, and he could respect that from her. So he was more than a little surprised when she showed up at his clinic without warning.

"Mari, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Anders greeted her, smiling.

"I was hoping to take you up on that offer of healing," Hawke replied.

"You don't look like you need healing, are you feeling okay?"

"Oh no, I'm fine. I mean teaching me," Hawke blurted out in a fluster.

"I see, if that is your wish I'll be more than happy to instruct you but I should warn you that teaching the healing arts can be rather…" Anders paused to clear his throat before continuing, "Intimate."

"What do you mean?" Hawke looked perplexed.

"When you were younger, how did your father teach you?"

"At first he would teach me to control my powers by pushing things around like glasses of water across a table, and then it became rocks in dirt, passing a tree leaf back and forth, that sort of thing. The tasks became harder as I became more skilled."

"Did he ever help you direct the flow of mana?"

"Yes, when he was first teaching me elemental mag-" Hawke stopped abruptly, and Anders could barely suppress a chuckle when her full lips formed an "O" and she blushed a vibrant shade of crimson before looking away.

"It requires a great deal of trust when someone directs your mana like that, which with a loving father you may never have even thought about. This is why I warn you now, before we begin. I can understand if you don't trust me enough yet, in which case I can teach you more remedial healing with herbs, tonics, and poultices." Anders told her, dismay hitting him as she began shaking her head.

"No, I trust you," she said simple, raising her aquamarine eyes up to meet his hazel and his heart skipped a beat at the truth shining in those enchanting eyes.

"Then let's get started," Anders stated, his voice deeper with his desire for her, causing Hawke to raise an eyebrow at him before nodding.

He stood behind her by a small boy who had a wheezing cough and running a fever. Anders already knew this was the beginning stages of pneumonia, but he was here to teach Hawke so he had to go slowly.

"This is Mari, and she's here to learn, is it alright if she assists me?" Anders asked looking to the boy and then his anxious parents, all three gave a nod. "First I'm going to have you learn how to diagnose what is wrong. It's a general healing spell, meant to take a look at a person and find what the base of the problem is. This will allow you to better help the patient. You'll be observing how I direct the flow of my mana, then you'll tell me what you think I find, okay?"

Anders watched Hawke give a quick nod before her brows puckered in concentration, then she place her small hand on top of his. He reached out for her mana, and for a moment was surprised by the way her magic reminded him of a grassy gnoll covered in wild flower in summer. Trying not to dwell on it once the connection was made; he directed his own mana into the boy in front of him. His hand glowed blue as he directed the spell through the boy. He heard Hawke gasp lightly when the magic reached the boy's lung.

"He has water in his lungs and some debris where the liquid seems to concentrate around," Hawke said looking up at him, hoping this was correct.

"That's right; it's the beginning of pneumonia, something all too prevalent here in Darktown and Lowtown but simple enough to fix. First we need to cleanse his lungs of the debris, which is what the liquid is attacking and then we heal the damage to the lungs so he can breathe easier. Once we heal the lungs, the fever will abate."

He changed the blue healing spell into a white cleansing spell to remove the debris and excess liquid. Once the liquid was removed, he redirected the spell back to a healing spell fixing the damage the water and debris had caused.

"Your son should be fine now," Anders instructed the parents after he finished healing the boy. "Just make sure he gets plenty of water and rest. The fever should be gone by the morning, if not come back and see me." The parents looked grateful as the boy hopped up from the cot he was on; thanking them both they turned to leave but were surprised when their son hugged Hawke before whispering his thanks. Hawke giggled and told him he was welcome before the family left together.

"I think I have some competition," Anders joked.

"Unless I've lost about fifteen years in the last five minutes, you have nothing to worry about," Hawke flirted, smirking up at him, giving him a playful shove with her shoulder. "What's next?"

"If you're still okay with this, I would like to try to use your magic to heal the next patient," Anders explained. "I have another patient with pneumonia, so it'll be just like the last. However, this person's symptoms are more advanced."

"Why didn't we start with them first?" Hawke asked, looking a little nervous.

"I'm trying to start you in gradually, work you up to harder cases," Anders explained, trying to make her feel better, she only gave him a quick nod as he directed her towards the next patient with pneumonia, this was a young woman who had ignored the warning signs of her wheezing and coughing until she collapsed at work from a coughing fit.

"This is Mari, is it alright if she assists me?" Anders asked the patient in question. The young woman gave a hesitant nod, before Anders took Hawke's hand and held it over the women. He then reached out to Hawke with his magic, once he established a connection with Hawke magic he tried to reach out with it but met resistance. So he whispered in her ear: "Relax Mari, I will not harm her and I will not harm you. You can trust me." He felt her shiver, since they were standing so close and then saw her nod.

He reached out with her magic, and this time he was able to direct her magic to begin checking on the damage to the patient's lungs. As he thought, the damage to her lungs was more extensive but it was not irreparable. He redirected Hawke's magic into a cleansing aura, and then back into a healing spell once the excess water was gone. Anders was thankful for Hawke's strength as they began healing, he may not have been able to do this on his own, and the damage was so severe. But finally the lungs were repaired, and the patient was able to leave given the same instructions as the boy and his family.

"I'm sorry for before," Hawke turning to look up at Anders.

"You've done nothing wrong. I'm actually amazed I just had to ask you to relax one time. When I first was learning, the instructor had to try several different times on several different days because I had such a hard time giving up control. You must really trust me." Anders tone started off as humorous when explaining of his past, but the awe slowly settled in when he realized just how much this amazing mage trusted him.

"Is that a problem?" she asked coquettishly, her eyes sparkling up at him.

"No, but you are being very _distracting_ with your comments Sweetheart," Anders replied with a wink. "Now while we were working, I noticed a dockworker come in who looked like he was in sever pain, let's go see what's wrong."

Anders discovered the dockworker had dislocated a shoulder so he put him quickly to sleep before turning to give his instruction to Hawke.

"Why didn't you let me try?" Hawke asked Anders a little peeved.

"Sleep spells can be very tricky, and since I hadn't covered it with you yet, I didn't want you to accidentally put him to sleep for a week," Anders explained, looking a little sheepish. "Though I should have at least let you experience how to put someone to sleep, and I'm sorry. Now we have to be quick, he'll only be out for about 10 minutes. We need to reset the shoulder, and then heal the damage around the joint. Then check to make sure none of the muscles or tendons got caught between the bones as we heal. After we get the bone back in the socket, I will let you lead the healing and I'll talk you through the process."

Anders had Hawke brace the man's body while Anders reset the shoulder. Hawke grimaced when the man grunted in pain, even though he was asleep.

"Now if he had been awake, you and I would not be able to hear anything," Anders told her, with a bit of a joke. "Not reach out to me with your magic, and connect-"

"Wow, you…your magic it's like a rainstorm: cleansing but a little dangerous because of the lightning."

"Well, I don't think I've ever heard it like that before, but that tells me you like dangerous men," Anders couldn't help but chuckle when she blushed. "Now focus your healing energy on his shoulder, check to see there is nothing to hamper the movement of his arm when he wakes. Good. Now work on healing the muscles concentrate on the bruising right around the joint. Good, well done. Well need to set the shoulder in a sling so he rests the arm for a few days, and I'll send home a few tonics for pain but he should be just fine. Go to the shelves just behind you, on the lowest shelf there should be what looks like piles of sheets, bring be two singles."

Anders watched her go to the cabinet he described and smiled at the amazement etched across her face as she found the two slings he wanted her to bring.

"We'll need to place his arm in the sling; one cloth is for a little cushion, the other to keep the arm and shoulder stable." As Anders explained, he wrapped the dockworkers arm in the sling, showing Hawke the proper way to put an arm in a sling. "There that should do it, and all before the sleep spell ended. One of my attendants will keep an eye on him, they know what he needs. Now how about I go buy us some lunch?"

"You don't have to do that," Hawke protested, waving him off.

"Dagger to the heart, _again_," Anders joked putting both hand over his heart in mock pain. "Can I not take a pretty lady out to lunch?"

Hawke snorted, "When did I become a lady?"

"With a snort like that, maybe you aren't one," he joked, laughing as he ran from the clinic with Hawke fast on his heels.

* * *

A/N: I'm having a hard time coming up with story ideas, so if anyone out there wants to request something specific, feel free to drop a line. I'm trying to stay fairly true to the story but since you don't see a whole lot of Justice until Act 2 and 3...Act 1 is a bit predictable and I don't want to write the whole game over again. So yeah, let me know what you think.


	13. Family Affair

Anders entered the Hanged Man after receiving a message from Hawke that she had something important to discuss, the last time he had seen her he had assisted her with finding a templar recruit gone missing. They ended up finding the recruit being tormented by blood mages. Hawke had been so angry with the mages, but showed a surprising amount of leniency on the templar.

He was making his way back towards Varric suite when he noticed everyone making a hasty retreat down the stairs from Varric's rooms looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Someone let the fire get out of control again?" Anders asked with a chuckle.

"I wish Blondie, family drama," Varric chimed in, looking back towards his rooms.

"What happened this time? Carver find out Hawke wouldn't pay his tab at the Rose?"

"Hawke and I were discussing who we should take on the expedition since she has raised most of the money, and Carver walked in to over hear he might not be going." Varric explained, just as the voice of the Hawke siblings could be heard where they were standing near the stairs.

**"Carver! Someone has to stay and take care of mother!" **Hawke's angry voice drifted down the stairs.

**"If you're so worried about mother, why don't you stay?"** Carver roared back.

"**I have to go, I'm the business partner. It's kind of a requirement."**

**"Oh sure rub that in my face again, you're the business partner because Varric heard more about you in the Red Iron and all the great work you did. Here I am still stuck in your bloody shadow."**

**"That's why I thought you would enjoy the chance to stay here. I wouldn't be around to block the sun. It would let you shine."**

**"It's just because you want all the glory for yourself!"**

**"This isn't about glory! It's about getting mother her childhood home. The home she grew up in and was supposed to inherit until out bloody lovely uncle spent all the money gambling and whoring it away. Kind of like you at the Rose, a tab I have to pay instead of saving it for the expedition."**

**"Oh yes, let's talk about whoring sister, what about you?"**

**"What about me?"**

**"I see the way the elf and mage look at you. What have you been doing to earn that kind of attention, I wonder?"**

Anders and Fenris glared at each other, blushes blooming across both their cheeks causing Isabela and Varric to chuckle.

**"How dare you! Besides Fenris hates my kind."**

**"Not from the looks I've seen him throw your backside when you're leading us."**

**"I don't know what you're talking about. You must be seeing it wrong."**

**"I wish, sometimes I'd like to punch both of them for the way their eyes follow you around a room, but I suppose it's not the first time I've seen men go moon-addled over you, remember Birk? How long was it before you slept with him I wonder?"**

"They certainly don't hold back, do they?" Varric mumbled.

**"Birk used ****_me_**** remember? Used me and threw me away, he told me he loved me and now suddenly it's my fault? Besides it's not like I have had anything to compare it to, I've been the one in hiding my whole life. You actually got to go to town when you were younger. You got to go to school while Beth and I had to stay home and learn to control ourselves."**

**"Yes, you got to spend all that time with Father, is it any wonder you would have been his favorite? I was his son, and still he chose his daughter over me."**

**"I was the ****_eldest _****and it had nothing to do with son or daughter. I was told to take care of the family. I am the one who has always puts the family's needs above my own. All I have ever done was take care of you, mother, and Bethany."**

**"And look how well that turned out? Maybe if you were better at taking care of the ****_family,_**** Beth would still be here."**

**"Oh yes, thank you for that. Everything is always my fault. It's my fault you decided to join the King's army. It's my fault the darkspawn attacked. It's my fault they destroyed Lothering. It's my fault Beth distracted the ogre so it wouldn't kill mother. It's my fault that we're here in Kirkwall. Go ahead, blame me, it's what you're good at."**

**"Where are you going?!"**

**"Away from ****_you_****!"**

The misfits could only watch as Hawke came thundering down the stairs and raced for the door out of the tavern.

"Elf, Blondie, you two should follow her; make sure she doesn't get into any trouble. The way she is right now, she won't notice any trouble until she's already in the middle of it, and there are still gangs out there that need to be taken care of. The rest of us will stay and calm down Junior." Varric instructed quickly.

Anders and Fenris raced into the night, knowing that Hawke was quick. They saw her disappear around the corner near Gamlen's hovel and raced after her. Thanks to Fenris' sharp hearing, he was able to track her through town all the way to the docks. She slowed down once she was in the docks, turned down a pier, and she was suddenly climbing a stack of crates and stepped onto the roof of the warehouse. After the two climbed up onto the roof, they found Hawke sitting at the far end of the storehouse looking out to sea.

"What do you want?" Hawke asked the pain evident in her voice. "Come to yell at me some more, Carver?"

"Now that's an insult," Anders quipped, causing Hawke to turn to see him and Fenris standing nearby.

"Oh, sorry," Hawke replied. "What are you doing out here?"

"Well, I think the entire tavern heard your fight," Anders explained, coming to sit next to her.

"I see…" Hawke trailed off, staring out into the distance.

"Varric wanted to make sure you didn't run into trouble," Fenris stated, sitting on Hawke's other side.

Hawke barked out a bitter laugh but said nothing.

"Why did you come here?" Anders queried.

"This is where I always come when I want to be alone with my thoughts. It's up high, so I don't run into the usual foot traffic or gang members. I don't know what I'm going to do when they move those crates."

"If we are disturbing you, we can go," Fenris started, beginning to stand.

"Its fine, stay," Hawke replied wearily, still staring out at the port. They sat in silence for several minutes, and Anders was amazed at how still Hawke was. She was normally so energetic and effervescent, this stillness was mildly disturbing.

"If not your brother, who were you going to ask on the expedition?" Anders finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, you two actually," Hawke stated, as if it was the most natural choice. "I love my brother dearly," she scoffed, "But Fenris you are a better warrior than he is. And with your ability sense darkspawn and superior healing you would save a lot of lives on the expedition. And yes, I know you hate the Deep Roads, but you haven't turned over your maps yet so I thought you were basically insisting you go along."

"So will you take your brother, now that he knows?" Anders questioned.

"I'll have to, he won't accept anything else," Hawke sighed in aggravation. "I just don't know who will look after mother while I'm gone. I suppose I could leave Demon, he'll protect mom but I do _not_ trust Gamlen to have her best interests at heart and any money I left with mother would be spent at the brothel by him."

"If you take your brother instead, I can look after your mother," Fenris rumbled. "A dog, even a mabari, would not be enough."

"Really?" Hawke squealed, joy lighting up her features as she looked at the warrior. "Thank you Fenris, I'll owe you big. I'll leave money so you can make sure mother gets everything she needs while we're gone."

"I already owe you a debt Hawke," Fenris countered. "This would simply absolve me of that debt."

"Freedom calling to you, huh?" Hawke inquired, sounding hurt.

"I could see myself staying, for the right reasons," Fenris replied a smirk on his lips as he met Hawke's eyes.

Anders heard her gasp slightly before she turned away, and seated this close to her he could see the blush creeping across Hawke's pale cheeks. _So Carver was right, the elf is interested in Hawke. Strange, since he claims not to like mages, but he seems fascinated by her._

"What are the right reasons?" Hawke playfully asked, looking out to the port as a smile ghosted her lips.

"I'll be sure to let you know," Fenris stated with a shrug but the smirk was still on his lips as he watched Hawke.

The three went back to watching the sea for a little while before Hawke stood saying she needed a drink and headed back towards the Hanged Man. The two men followed her, with the occasional glare passed between them.


	14. Dreams of the Fade

It was late, and Anders had just returned from helping some mages escape the templars. Anders had to chuckle at that, Hawke's quick thinking and smooth tongue had convinced an ardent follower and crony of Meredith's, Ser Karras, that the mages were killed and the leader escaped out of some back exit to the cave network they found them in. The templars took off along the paths, giving the Starkhaven mages a chance to escape free and clear. Fenris had growled about the whole affair but did not comment until the templars had run off to make chase.

Anders made a mental note to seek out Ser Thrask in the future, if he was willing to let mages escape templar "justice" and did not try to track down Feynriel, he may assist mages again in the future. Getting to his clinic he was practically dragging his feet, knowing as soon as he lay on his cot, he would fall fast into the Fade. He was surprised when he turned around to shut and lock the clinic door that Hawke was right behind him.

"Mari," the surprise in Anders' tired voice evident.

"I'm sorry Anders, I know it's late and we're both tired but I needed to talk to you before I head home," Hawke explained, sounding nervous.

"Is everything okay?" worried colored his tone.

"I'm not sure," Hawke stated, coming into the clinic so Anders could shut the door behind them. When the door was closed: "Do you ever have dreams of beings approaching you in the Fade?"

"Every mage dreams of demons Hawke, you didn't make a deal with one, did you?" Anders asked in anger, crossing his arms over his chest at the petite mage in front of him.

"No, no, no," Hawke waved her hand in denial. "I'm not even sure it was a demon. I've been approached by demons before: rage, pride, sloth, desire, but this one…it was different. It said it wanted to teach me, to guide me in a path laid at my feet, and to help me so I could help others. But it radiated such deep conviction or belief or…"

"Faith?" Anders supplied, the vice grip around his heart relaxing as he began to realize what she had dreamed about.

"Yeah, I think that's the feeling," Hawke replied, still nervous. "I told it no at first, fearing it was a trap but then it radiated such sorrow. Normally demons get angry. It confused me so much, and then to instructed me to 'seek the one whose knowledge is greater than my own and is already traveling the path.' I really didn't know who it was referring to, but you do have more knowledge than I do about being a mage from your instruction in the circle."

"It wasn't a demon," Anders began explaining, gesturing to a cot for them to sit on. "It was a Spirit of Faith."

"What's the difference?" as she sat next to him.

"Demons embody our sins: rage, pride, sloth. While spirits embody virtues: mercy, justice, faith. Spirits of Faith help those who walk down the path of healing magic."

"So you were the one I was supposed to seek," Hawke gasped as the puzzle pieces clicked. "Did you have a dream like mine?"

"Many years ago, but yes I had a similar dream. The spirit will not turn you into an abomination. It will teach you at night in the fade, spirits have no desire to live in the mortal world."

"What will I learn?" Hawke asked, excitement lighting up her features.

"Each Spirit Healer learns a little differently, so I'm not entirely sure what you could learn. Generally it's the ability to heal more than one person at a time, a handy thing when a fight is not going your way. It will also teach you to revive fallen comrades."

"Thank you Anders," Hawke stated, standing up to leave and heading towards the door. Anders stood and followed her. "Thanks again for helping with the Starkhaven mages. Good night."

She turned back to look at Anders as she bid him a good night. Anders heard her breathe catch when she looked into his eyes, but he for once wasn't looking at her eyes, he was looking at her lips, those sweet, berry colored lips. Faster than she could react, her face was cupped between his palms and he was kissing her. He licked her bottom lip with his tongue and she opened her mouth to him with a sultry moan that went straight to his groin. Their tongues met in a dance that was becoming so familiar to him. He broke their kiss, to start licking and kissing his way to her ear, but suddenly he was being pushed away.

"Anders, you devil," she huffed out, desire coloring her voice. "You must really enjoy the thought of me dreaming about you at night."

"More than you know," he growled, a devilish grin on his face. "It doesn't have to be just dreaming, we could make it reality."

"Anders!" she gasped, backing away from him, but running into one of the doors out of his clinic. "I dream of you certainly, but I would rather not have our first time be in my uncle's shack or here in your clinic."

"Think of the passion, we just couldn't stand it anymore, we just had to have each other and we did it right against the door," he grinned, stepping towards her as she shuddered in pleasure at the thought. "You'll find that I can be very…" as he was talking, he brought up his hand and rubbed two of his fingers along her lips reddened from his kiss, "convincing." He shot a tiny bolt of electricity through her swollen lip, and watched at the pleasure dancing through her eyes as the jolt made its way through her body causing her to moan his name.

He closed the distance between the two of them and was just about to kiss her again, when she pushed him away with a sigh he was caught off guard.

"You are incorrigible," she sighed; her eyes still dark with the passion he had unlocked. "But I can't, I'm not ready yet, I'm sorry," and with those words she bolted out of his clinic and into the night.


	15. Into the Depths of Betrayal

Finally Hawke had finished all of her business in Kirkwall and Bartrand had finished last minute preparations on the expedition. Today was they day they would be heading out, and though Anders was dreading going into the Deep Roads, he felt a smug satisfaction knowing he would be spending more than a month with his Mari.

"Carver, I know your feeling superior because I agreed you could come, but when mother comes to say goodbye, don't rub it in her face," Hawke warned her little brother, even though he stood a head and a half taller than her, she managed to look intimidating. "She's afraid for both of us, so try and be civil for her sake, please?"

Carver was about to shoot back some snide comment, but as soon as his sister said please, he closed his mouth and gave her a grim nod. As soon as Hawke turned from her brother to speak to Varric, Leandra breezed into the merchant's quarter and her two children went to meet her to say their goodbyes.

"I should be a little surprised that you agreed to come on the expedition, considering how much you say you hate the Deep Roads," Varric began before pointedly looking in Hawke's direction. "But I find myself unable to muster the emotion. I wonder why that is, Blondie?"

"You've got me Varric," the blonde mage chuckled. "Why on Thedas would I pass up a chance to impress a beautiful, intoxicating woman?"

"Good point," Varric chuckled, as the dwarf and mage watched the family. "Looks like Leandra's making one last pitch for Hawke to reconsider taking Junior. That girl can be as stubborn as a bronto."

"At least she doesn't look like one," Anders quipped, making Varric chuckle. "Can you imagine the scandal: bronto-like mage tries to take on Hightown and reclaim what's been lost?"

"Ha! You know Blondie, I may have had you pegged wrong," Varric laughed.

"How did you have me 'pegged'?" Anders asked, turning to the dwarf. "And do I even want to know?"

"Mmm, probably not, just know I was wrong and that's not something I like to easily admit."

"Are they done yet?" Bartrand demanded, stomping up to Varric and Anders. "I'd like to get out of here soon. It's going to take three days to get to the entrance I have picked out, the sooner we leave, the sooner we can make money."

"Bartrand, Bartrand," Varric calmed his brother. "We're going to be gone for more than a month, let the family have their goodbye. It shouldn't take much longer. See they're hugging now, so we'll be able to leave soon."

Hawke and Carver made their way over to the trio when Bartrand demanded: "Personal drama over with?" At a nod from the siblings, Bartrand turned to the rest of the expedition and shouted: "Let's move out!"

Bartrand led the expedition out of the city heading north towards the Vinmark Mountains and his chosen entrance to the Deep Roads.

* * *

They finally arrived at Bartrand's chosen entrance, and Anders stepped up to the mouth of the cave network.

"Before we head in," he started, turning to look at Bartrand, "I need your word that you will follow any direction I give while underground. You may be dwarves, but I'm the only one who can sense darkspawn, if I say stop the group must stop, if I say run, they run. Got it?"

Bartrand studied the mage closely, a dangerous gleam in his eye before acknowledging Anders' demand. He then turned and relayed the order to his men, who also nodded, some looking very relieved at the fact that they wouldn't be caught unawares by the darkspawn while under meters of rock and stone.

"I don't sense anything nearby," Anders explained turning back to the cave opening, before stepping inside for a closer look. He could hear the expedition start in behind him so he turned back to the group before they could step inside. "We should be alright, Varric and whatever scouts you choose, I want you up front with me, I know the dwarves tend to place traps and I need people who can see them. Carver and Hawke, I want you bringing up the rear, make sure we don't lose anyone while we travel. The rest of you stay together, no wandering off. I may be a healer, but I will not hesitate to leave you behind because of your own stupidity. The Roads are dangerous; our large number will aid us against some predators, but not all. Keep alert and try to stay quiet, excessive noise will gain unwanted attention. Heed my warnings and we should be fine. Let's go."

Anders met Hawke's eyes before venturing deeper into the cave network, the expression she had on her face was one he had never seen before it looked like bemused appreciation, but the slight coloring across her cheeks told him as much as she found it amusing, she also found it desirable. Making a note to talk to her about it when they finally camped, Anders stepped into the tunnels, with Bartrand at his side, already ignoring his orders. As the light from the entrance faded behind them, Anders summoned a spirit wisp to give him some light.

"Stop!" Anders ordered. "Light the lights." He was pleasantly surprised when the caravan began pulling out Dwarven lanterns. They were a smokeless flame and gave off steady light, unlike torches which gutter and flicker. Torches tended to make the deep roads a scarier place because they played tricks on the mind, but the lanterns would aid in keeping people calm. Once they lanterns had been evenly distributed among the caravan Anders gave the order to move once again.

They had been traveling about an hour before the walls began to smooth out showing worked stone, and columns would appear in large caverns to support the weight of the ceiling. Bartrand and Anders soon worked out a way to silently communicate when they came to crossroads or branches in the tunnels. Bartrand would motion which way he wanted to go, and Anders would either agree and they would head in that direction or he would disagree if there would too many darkspawn in the direction the dwarf wanted to go.

There were a few instances when the darkspawn numbers were manageable, and Anders would signal the troupe to stop, and he, Varric, Hawke and Carver would moved ahead to take care of the number blocking their path. The day passed quickly, and Bartrand eventually called a halt and orders to set up camp. They were in a defensible, but small cavern that only offered two openings, making the watch rotation easy. They set up a couple fires for heat, and the expedition members gathered around the flames in earnest, since the Deeps Roads could also be cold. Anders was sitting at one fire, feeling the darkspawn in the roads around him, when he felt a presence right behind him, breathing in his ear.

"I like a man who knows how to take charge," Hawke purred quietly in his ear causing desire to flood through his body at her words. Before he could reply, she was moving away and sitting at the other fire.

_So that's how it's going to be?_ Anders thought to himself, as he met Hawke's eyes and she winked at him before turning to speak with Varric. Anders was thankfully kept from the watch rotation; he would be sleeping fitfully anyway. And from experience, if any 'spawn got close he would wake up and warn people anyway. Everyone was advised to keep their weapons close at hand while asleep, just in case they were attacked. Hawke, being the only female, was given her own tent, while Carver inconveniently slept at the opening effectively blocking Anders from making a move. Sighing in frustration, he slept out in the open, in the middle of camp, where everyone could hear him should the need arise.

The days passed in much the same fashion, the monotony only broken up by the occasional attack from darkspawn and deep stalkers as they got deeper into the roads, as well as the occasional collapse that wasn't marked on the map. Finally there was a red, steady light at the end of the tunnel. Anders' initial thought was it was lava but as they grew near the opening, the tunnel didn't get any warmer. When he crossed the threshold into the room beyond, he was greeted with the sight of an old thaig, older than anything he had every witnessed before.

Varric let out a whistle, as the expedition came into the room, beginning to crowd to see the thaig. Anders felt a body press up against his back, and turning he saw Hawke, trying to see past everyone, her curiosity getting the better of her as she placed her hands on his waist to peer around him.

"What is this place?" Hawke asked the awe in her voice evident, as well as on all the faces of the expedition. "How did you find out about it?"

"An old scavenger's tale, from the third blight, a week below the surface they said," Bartrand whispered out, but everyone was so quiet, there was no problem hearing him. "I figured we'd find some old ruins, not a whole thaig. Everyone set camp, we have a thaig to explore. You four, I want you to begin mapping this place out for my crew."

Anders, Carver, Hawke and Varric set off into the thaig, Hawke making a rough sketch of rooms as they went to help map out the area for the expedition. After several hours wandering through the thaig with Bartrand following at their heels, Anders came to a large stone door. He didn't sense and 'spawn on the other side, so he pulled the door open and was greeted by a grand set of stairs with what looked to be an altar at the top. His skin itched slightly, but he couldn't place the feeling so he led the group up the stairs.

"Is that lyrium?" Hawke asked puzzled by the small red idol centered on the altar.

"It's some kind of magic, but unlike anything I've felt before," Anders replied, examining the idol.

"Great, more magic," Carver muttered. "I thought dwarves can't use magic."

"We can't Junior," Varric replied. "But it should still prove valuable. Look at this brother, an idol made out of pure lyrium! Should be worth a fortune!"

"You might be right," Bartrand answered, his voice sounding far off, as if lost in a memory.

Hawke reached for the idol, and Anders could tell she was uncomfortable around the idol as well. There was a moment's hesitation before she snagged the idol and handed it to Varric. Varric then turned around and tossed the idol to Bartrand, still standing at the base of the stairs.

"Let's see what else we can find," Varric smugly stated.

"The door!" Hawke interrupted, noticing Bartrand closing the door behind him as he left the room. Before they could get to the door, it closed with a resounding thud, and there was no handle on their side.

"Bartrand, the door, it shut behind you and we can't get out," Varric yelled through the thick stone.

"You always did notice everything, didn't you Varric?" Bartrand reply came slightly muffled.

"You would betray your own brother, for what? Some lousy idol?"

"Not just the idol, the location of this thaig is worth millions and I'm not splitting that three ways!"

"Bartrand! Bartrand!"

Anders felt fear clutch at his heart. They were trapped in the Deep Roads, with very little food and water, and no idea how to get out.


	16. The Cost of Betrayal

They had been trapped by Bartrand for days now fighting their way through deep stalkers and darkspawn. They had run out of food long ago and it was hard to find in the deep roads. Thankfully he and Hawke could cast ice spells, so they never had a shortage of water. Varric possessed a remarkable sense of direction, even though he was a surface dwarf, so he was able to direct the quartet where they needed to go. As they traveled, Anders could feel a familiar tug in his senses, but there never seemed to be any other darkspawn about so he ignored it.

The next day, their surroundings were beginning to look familiar; they had managed to circle back around to a detour they had found nearly a week ago.

"Ah, here we are," Varric smirked. "It only took us five days to get here."

"Can we stop?" Carver asked his voice strange. Anders glanced at the young warrior, and suddenly knew why he had felt like there was a darkspawn nearby, Carver was infected with the blight. "I don't feel right."

"I think all our stomachs are a little tender," Hawke answered.

"Good thing we found those edible mushrooms not too long ago," Varric quipped.

"No, it's-" Carver collapsed, the evident pain in his body no longer letting him carry himself anymore. As Hawke rushed to kneel at his side, the evidence of the taint became apparent. The pale green light of her spirit wisp revealed the ashen skin, gray eyes without pupils, and blackened tracts running through his skin.

"It's the taint," Anders admitted, guilt wrapping around him like a cold shroud. "I can sense it."

"It's just like you, keeping this to yourself," Hawke tried to quip, but the smile didn't reach her eyes, all that reflected there was anguish.

"I thought it was nothing," the young warrior tried to explain. "But I'll be just like that templar Wesley, just as dead, just as gone. Stupid!"

"Oh Junior, we're nowhere near the surface," Varric mourned, his voice cracking.

"There may be another way," Anders interjected, an idea forming in his head.

"What?" Hawke looked up at him with impatient hope. "Maker's breath spit it out!"

"He could become a gray warden. I stole the maps from some gray wardens; I wanted to know if they were looking for me, they weren't."

"Way to keep it to yourself, Anders," Hawke spat out.

"You just wanted the maps," Anders lamented. "The point is I know where they could be."

"Is becoming a gray warden a cure?"

"Yes and no. Gray wardens become immune to the taint, but at the cost of the life they had before. Being a gray warden is a calling."

"How does one become a gray warden exactly?"

"I can't tell you that," Anders replied, the memory of swallowing the darkspawn blood causing him to grimace. "It's a secret that only wardens are supposed to know but it could save your brothers life."

"Would they even help us? Never mind, I don't want to know, we have to try," Hawke stated, helping her brother stand.

Anders led the way, remembering where the map said they would be. It was slow going with Carver unable to walk on his own, it took them another week to get close to the location the wardens were supposed to be scouting. He wasn't able to eat or drink, whenever he tried he would eventually hurl it back up behind a rock. Hawke was becoming frantic, knowing her brother couldn't last much longer without sustenance. Thankfully if healed right before he took an elfroot potion, he was able to keep the potion down.

They finally reach an intersection and Anders turned to look at the group before saying: "I think they might be nearby." Varric peaked around the corner and shook his head.

"Or it could just be more darkspawn," he quipped, pointing at the large group of hurlocks around the corner.

Hawke quickly leaned her brother against the wall, and took up a defensive stance in front of her brother. The fight was tough, since the warrior was not able to join the fray, but slowly the darkspawn numbers depleted. Anders turned to the final darkspawn at his back and before he had a chance to fire at him, an arrow with familiar fletching appeared right between his eyes.

"Anders?" a familiar gruff voice questioned, Anders turned towards Nathaniel. "Anders! It's good to see you alive! We feared the worst!"

"Yes, well as much as I would love to catch up, that's not why I came to find you," Anders explained motioning toward Hawke helping Carver approach the group.

"It's a good thing I'm leading this group instead of Stroud," Nathaniel murmured, shaking his head. "Elissa found him incompetent because he misplaced his maps."

"Ha-ha," Anders laughed uncomfortably. "He didn't misplace his maps; so much as not pay attention to his surroundings. I took them."

"I should have known," Nathaniel laughed. "Well, we'll get this young man to take the joining as soon as we can. How much have you told him?"

"Standard, plus the whole it's a calling bit," Anders replied.

"Are you sure about this, sis?" Carver interjected, looking to his sister.

"Not really," she smiled weakly at him. "I know I don't want you to die. I…I…"

"Take care of mother," he interrupted as he pulled her into a hug, using the last of his strength to do so.

"I will," she promised him in a whisper.

Nathaniel walked up to the siblings, and took Carver's arm to help support him.

"I'll try to take good care of him, Serah…" Nathaniel began.

"Hawke," she said simply. "And my brother Carver."

"I'm sure Elissa will want to come speak with you Anders, since you're alive," Nathaniel explained, while walking with Carver. "I doubt you'll be in trouble, but she'll wish to speak to you none the less."

"Yes, well…tell your girl I came here to make sure the templars tracking me couldn't find me," Anders stated, as the Grey Wardens moved off.

Anders turned to Hawke at his side, to get them to move but Hawke refused. Tears shimmered in her eyes, but her shoulders were squared off and ridged trying to fight the pain. She wanted to watch her brother as long as possible, just in case she never saw Carver again. When the wardens disappeared around a corner, Hawke collapsed on the floor crying, mourning her brother as if he truly was gone. Anders could only sit next to her, pulling her into his arms as she clutched at his chest and cried into his feather pauldrons.


	17. The Wardens Come to Visit

Anders, Hawke, and Varric had been back in Kirkwall for about three months. Hawke had to explain to her mother what had happened with Carver and it did not go over well. Leandra was for all intents and purposes, mourning the loss of another child. She didn't seem to care that Carver may have survived; she mourned for him and blamed it on Hawke. Varric meanwhile was busy selling the items they had found in the deep roads, as well as using the money to put towards another small expedition to get what they couldn't carry out when they killed the rock wraith.

Hawke would occasionally come to visit Anders and assist him in the clinic but he often found her in quiet contemplation in Varric's rooms or at her favorite place on the docks. She was worried she had let another family member down, and was becoming a further disappointment to her father. Though Anders tried to assure her she wasn't a failure, his words carried no weight until she knew Carver's fate.

As his assistants began to clean up, Anders began to feel a tug in his senses, and with a small smile on his lips he put out the lanterns and waited for the wardens who were closing in on the clinic. He should not have been surprised to see Elissa herself, but there was a bit of a shock when she was the one standing in front of him. Her familiar long auburn hair tied back in a long braid, a smile lighting up her face when she saw Anders, with Nathaniel shadowing her as normal. They were missing their warden armor, not wanting to stick out in the city.

"Elissa, I didn't think you'd come to see me yourself," Anders smirked. "I thought I would have to send a report to you somehow."

"Do you honestly think I would miss the chance to catch up with an old friend I had thought was dead?" Elissa laughed. "It took Nathaniel three days, with Carver's help to convince me you were alive."

"Carver's help?" Anders asked, relief coloring his tone. "So he survived?"

"Yes, he survived, he's here visiting his family while we came to see you here," Elissa confirmed.

"I'm glad to hear it, Mari's been nearly frantic for news since we got back into the city," Anders supplied.

"Mari, huh?" Elissa asked, a smirk crossing her face causing Anders' face to warm. "This wouldn't be the Hawke I've been hearing so much about in town, would it? I heard a tale say that she tore the horns off an ogre with her bare hands."

"That would be Varric's doing, she and her brother did take on an ogre in order to escape Fereldan, but she hardly did it with her bare hands."

"She took on an ogre," Nathaniel broke in. "But she's a mage and not even a warden."

"A fellow mage, too?" Elissa asked, the smirk only getting bigger. "This is so delicious Anders, after all this time Nate and I finally get a little payback for all you put us through while we were at the keep."

"You two were fraternizing," Anders defended. "This is hardly the same."

"She's the leader of your group, isn't she?" Elissa joked, as Anders nodded his head. "Then it's fraternizing. I hope to meet this woman before I leave; she seems to have swept our little Anders right off his feet. I can remember having to do thorough bed checks of your room to make sure we didn't lock some of your 'guests' into the keep for the night."

"Ha-ha, yes, well…" Anders stopped and cleared his throat as he closed the doors to his clinic.

"But enough teasing for now," Elissa became serious, putting on her Warden Commander visage. "I'm a bit disappointed you never contacted me about your survival Anders. I've been harassing King Alistair, Queen Anora, and the circle since you were taken almost a year ago, just trying to find out what happened to you."

"I'm sorry about that," Anders grimaced. "I meant to write, but I wasn't sure how to get a letter to you without warning the templars where I am located."

"As your friend, I can understand but as your commander it's not that easy," Elissa stated. "However, I will over-look it this one time. I have a meeting with the viscount at the end of the week to discuss creating a warden outpost here in the city. This should help protect you from being taken into the circle, while you stay here. I can understand your reluctance to return to Fereldan, which is why I am making this available. If the viscount agrees with an outpost and with his permission, you will be made the Warden Commander of the Free Marches. I have already spoken with the supreme commander, and he agrees with my assessment. The Marches have been too long without an active warden presence. Until we can get more wardens under your command, Nathaniel will travel back and forth between Amaranthine and Kirkwall as you get set up.

"I know there is trouble brewing between the mages and templars and though I would like to remind you that as a warden we cannot get caught up in such trappings, as your friend I know that would be impossible for you to do. If you must help the mages, make sure you are in your normal robes and not your warden armor. As people learn to accept you as the warden commander here, they may not make that distinction, so choose your battles wisely. If all this comes to pass, I will need you to come train with me at the Vigil, I was not ready for this command when it was handed to me, I can only thank my mother for the teachings she offered me growing up. I do not want you to feel unprepared, which is why I will train you for a time. It should only be about six months, no longer. And depending on how smart you still are, it may be shorter. Overwhelmed yet?"

"A bit," Anders answered honestly. "Why make me warden commander? Nathaniel knows more about the area."

"Selfish reasons," Elissa smirked. "I had considered making him commander and you his second, but I'm a selfish woman in love. I'd rather he be away from me only when necessary."

"Will I need to recruit?" Anders asked, warily.

"Only if you find someone," Elissa explained. "Orlais has already been informed of what could occur, and if things fall into place, they will send you a few wardens who will be in charge of recruitment in the Marches. I know it's a lot to take in Anders, but I think this would be a way to keep you safe. You are a warden, and as a warden commander the circle cannot touch you without massive repercussions from Weisshaupt. We'll be around for most of the week if you have any more questions; we're staying at an inn in Hightown. But for now, I'm hungry and want to catch up with a friend."

"I know the perfect place, and you can meet some of my new friends," Anders grinned, leading the two wardens to the Hanged Man. "I should warn you the food's not great, the place smells of piss and vomit, the ale is terrible and water-down unless you buy the expensive stuff, but its atmosphere makes up for all of that."

"I like it already," Elissa chuckled while Nathaniel shook his head while smiling.

When they entered the Hanged Man, they were greeted with catcalls and cheers. Anders was curious, because this wasn't the normal reaction from the patrons of the Hanged Man. As he looked around the tavern, he discovered the source of the catcalls: Bela and Hawke performing their "show."

"Well, this wasn't how I wanted your first impression of her to be," Anders gulped.

"Is that Isabela?" Elissa asked, a blush forming on her cheeks.

"Yes, how do you know Bela?" Anders queried back.

"Well…back during the blight, I ran into her at the Pearl," Elissa began.

"You had sex with her, didn't you?" Anders gasped.

"Maybe…" she confessed. "It was the only way for her to teach me to be a duelist, I'm terrible at cards."

"Elie!" Nathaniel hissed.

"What? It was before we met again," Elissa tried to defend herself before changing the subject. "So who's that with Isabela?"

"Mari," Anders sighed.

"Really?" Elissa chuckled, now taking a particular interesting in the two women in the corner.

"She very…nimble for a mage," Nathaniel noticed, a blush forming across his own cheeks.

"I can see now why you like her," Elissa chuckled, moving into the tavern more in order to watch the two raven-haired women.

"Blondie!" Varric called to him, near the stairs to his suite. Anders walked over, hoping the two rogues were behind him. Getting close to Varric, Anders noticed Fenris, Merrill, Aveline, and Carver. Carver was watching the show with his hands covering his eyes, peeking out between his fingers.

"I thought they didn't do this when you were here," Anders commented to Carver.

"I stupidly insisted," Carver admitted begrudgingly. "Now whenever they try to stop the tavern breaks out in jeers."

"It's your own fault, they haven't been able to see it for a few months with your sister in the deep roads and then worrying about you," Anders replied nonchalantly, turning back to watch Hawke.

Sweet, sexy, energetic Hawke, it seems that in her eagerness to be back in town and knowing her brother was safe, she and Bela had indeed stepped it up a notch. She was still in the same sexy leather outfit, but now instead of just the whispers in the ears, a kiss, a caress, and a lick would be shared as well between the two women.

"So how often does she do this?" Elissa whispered in Anders ear.

"Before we left for the deep roads it was about ever week, usually on the busiest night and only when Carver wasn't around," Anders explained.

"But Carver's here," Nate pointed out.

"Apparently, he insisted," Anders chuckled.

"Me and my big mouth," Carver pitched in, causing the whole group to laugh.

"Why do they do it?" Elissa asked.

"It was to raise money for the deep roads expedition, men like to throw coin at them in appreciation," Anders chuckled. "They made good coin too, but now that she doesn't need the money any more, I'm not sure if they will be doing it anymore."

"Poor Anders," Elissa mocked. "I guess you'll have to try and convince her to give you a private showing."

"Commander," Carver warned.

"Sorry Carver, but even I can see how taken he is with his fellow mage," Elissa shrugged.

"Blondie!" Varric sauntered up to the other half of the group. "Who are you're friends?"

"Oh sorry," Anders apologized before diving into introduction. "Varric, this is Elissa Cousland, my commanding officer from Amaranthine-"

"The Hero of Fereldan, here?" Varric interrupted. "Blondie, you've been holding out on me."

"Please, just Elissa," the female warden stated, looking around to make sure no one heard Varric.

"Of course, and I'm Varric Tethras," Varric finished smoothly. "What brings you here to our humble bar?"

"Just catching up with a friend," Elissa said smiling at Anders. "This is Nathaniel Howe, my second."

"And lesser half," Anders quipped with a smirk, causing Nathaniel to scowl at the blonde mage.

"I see, wardens and lovers," Varric nodded, making mental notes for possible stories. "Catchy title, I'll have to use that somehow."

"I should have warned you," Anders retorted. "Varric's a storyteller so anything you say can and will be used against you in the future."

"What can I say?" Varric shrugged. "Words have staying power, good stories last lifetimes, and heroes should always be remembered."

"You sound a little like my friend Leliana, she was a bard though," Elissa smiled.

"I'd invite you all up to my room for dinner, cards, and drink but I think you want to stick around to see our illustrious leader at work," Varric chuckled. "If you need me for anything, I'll be in my room."

"I'll introduce you to everyone else, once Bela and Mari are done," Anders explained.

Looking around at his companions, he couldn't help but chuckle at some of their reactions. Merrill was as red as a beet but couldn't help but stare as the two women moved sinuously together. Carver was still actively watching behind his hands, grumbling to himself. Aveline was wearing a look of consternation that spoke volumes about how her oldest friend would do that with "the whore." Fenris' ears were a bright shade of red, and even on his stoic face, you couldn't miss the desire in his emerald gaze.

_He still wants Mari, I see._ Anders grumbled to himself before turning back to watch Hawke and Isabela. The two were such a contrast, where Hawke was pale and petite, the pirate was tanned and buxom, but the way they moved together bending, stretching, and caressing you would swear they were lovers, if you didn't know any better. Hawke had once explained the only reason she felt safe doing this with Bela was because all the men in the bar secretly feared the pirate. She could be tough as nails, and didn't hesitate to break someone's fingers if they got to "handsy."

The girls looked like they were wrapping up their routine, when he got caught up in what was happening. Hawke had playfully pushed Isabela to the floor, so her feet were facing the corner and her head was facing the audience, giving everyone a nice view down Bela's tight top. Hawke stood over the pirate's hips, but she was staring at Anders, desire in her gaze as she looked at him. His pants became tight, as Hawke's legs started inching away from the pirate's hips, until she was doing the splits sitting on Bela. Still staring at Anders, she started to walk the top of her body down to Isabela's face, before bringing her legs together with the pirate's, so the raven-haired women were lying on top of each other. Hawke gave the crowd a shot of her own cleavage before giving Bela a kiss and standing with her usually buoyant energy, offer Bela a hand to stand. The two ladies mock bowed to their audience before collecting the coins scattered on the floor. Hawke bounced over to them, and stopped in front of the misfits.

"Still playing with fire, I see," Anders snorted, unable to tear his gaze from her face.

"Of course, its fun," she smirked without missing a beat. "I'm starving and not nearly drunk enough for what I just did. I've got food and the first round, standard eight if Varric wants to eat."

"Better make it ten, if you don't mind," Carver pointed out, motioning towards Nathaniel and Elissa on the other side of Anders and he made his way up the stairs behind the other misfits.

"Oh, not a problem, I'll bring it all upstairs," Hawke smiled, heading over to Corff at the bar to put in the order.

"She's a whirlwind," Elissa muttered. "Sure you can keep up?"

"Maker help me, but I hope so," Anders chuckled, leading the wardens up to Varric's suite.

It wasn't long until Hawke, with Norah's help, produced three trays all full of pitchers and mugs and steaming bowls of the Hanged Man's mystery stew, as well as a couple loaves of bread.

"Give me just a moment Norah dear and you can take all the trays back down," Hawke said, pulling out her serving skills and passing out the bowls of stew around the table.

"No problem love," Norah grinned, please for the moment to stand still and lean against the wall. Once all the food and mugs were handed out, Norah made a hasty retreat with a wave to Hawke as she left with the trays in hand.

"Hawke, I think you tamed the shrew," Varric chuckled from his end of the table, once Norah was out of hearing distance.

"You think?" Hawke asked turning around in her seat at the other end of the table to watch Norah's departing figure.

"I haven't seen her smile, and mean it, since I started living here," the dwarf pointed out.

"She's always working so hard, I don't think I've ever seen her take a day off," Hawke commented. "Oh that's an idea…"

"Something tells me I'm not going to like this idea," Varric chuckled.

"Nothing like that you dirty dwarf," she muttered before continuing. "I was just thinking I could buy her the deluxe relaxation package at the bath house."

"Trying to buy her loyalty?"

"No, no, just a thank you," Hawke grinned before digging into her stew just as she noticed the two stranger sitting at the table with the group. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I miss introduction?"

"That's where I step in," Anders spoke up from his seat next to Hawke. "Hawke this is Elissa Cousland, my commanding officer from Amaranthine. Next to her is her second, Nathaniel Howe. You already know me. You two have already seen Hawke and Isabela in action, so no introduction there," Anders watched as Hawke turned an alarming shade of pink. "Next to Bela is Fenris, then Guard Captain Aveline and then Merrill, Varric you already met, and you already know Carver."

"Cousland, you mean the Hero of Fereldan?" Hawke gasped in awe.

"Please, just Elissa," the warden commander chuckled. "Though I could always recruit you into my order and then you'd have to call me commander."

"Ha-ha, no, you don't want me. I'm just a little puny mage flower, right Carver?" Hawke joked, causing Carver to grimace slightly around his mouthful of stew.

"I do have other mages in my service, you wouldn't be the first," Elissa pointed out, motioning in Anders direction. "And the fact that you have defeated darkspawn so handily, you would be a great asset."

"As nice an offer as that is," Hawke replied. "You have one Hawke in the wardens, that's plenty. I don't think my brother would appreciate me hogging his chance for glory again."

"You got that right," Carver mumbled around his food, making everyone chuckle.

"Maker's breath Carver, you were a pig before what's going on?" Hawke asked, aghast at Carver shoveling food in his face.

"It's a warden thing," the four wardens said at the same time, causing everyone to laugh even harder.

The rest of the night was spent catching up, playing cards, drinking and just enjoying each other's company. Anders learned that Sigrun had eventually returned to the deep roads upset with a decision Elissa had made, Velanna was still at the keep as big a pain as she ever was, Oghren and Felsi had separated, with Felsi remarrying but Oghren still visited his daughter, and Justice, with a little help in research on forgotten magic from Wynne and Irving, had been returned to the fade, which meant Kristoff's body was returned to his widow.

It did Anders' heart good to hear his friends were doing so well, and he found himself looking forward to the trip he would have to make to Amaranthine to receive his training from Elissa.

* * *

A/N: A special thanks to anesor for the idea to give Anders a more active role in the wardens, since he was kidnapped right before the attack on the Vigil, and therefore still on good terms with the Wardens. This chapter would not have been possible without you. :-)


	18. Home to Poison Gas

_Warden Commander of the Free Marches_, even now the name sounded weird in Anders' head as he returned to Kirkwall after five months of training with Elissa. She had tried to teach him as much as she could, but explained that her job mostly entailed meeting occasionally with the king and queen, keeping an eye on dark spawn activity, and training new wardens brought to her.

She had explained he may have to travel to other major cities in the Marches to meet with city leaders. And since Kirkwall was just going to be an outpost, he would only ever have a handful of wardens under his command. With Vigil's Keep being the closest training facility, any possible wardens he found would be sent there for training. He was to monitor activity in the area either personally or with the few wardens he would have under his command, he would also have to name a second and Elissa trusted his judgment for that assignment. He was also given an office at Viscount's Keep, right next to Aveline's in the Guards quarter. Aveline hadn't been thrilled at first, thinking Anders would take over her guardsmen but once Anders explained it was just an office, and the guard would still follow her orders, she relented. She understood the need for a warden presence in the Marches after having to flee Fereldan.

Now that he was back in Kirkwall, he would need to get in touch with Lirene, and Mistress Shelby. Hawke had promised to keep his clinic running a few days a week when she could spare them while fixing up the Amell estate. He was grateful he could count on her to look after the refugees when he was gone; Lirene had been thrilled beyond belief, she was afraid the clinic wouldn't be operating while he was at the keep. Granted with all the money Hawke had donated to the refugee fund, increasing pay at the Bone Pit as well as keeping problems there to a minimum, patients to the clinic were becoming fewer and fewer.

_Not that that's such a bad thing, having fewer patients. Now maybe I can help the mages more or work on the manifesto I started. I've been living here for almost four years and haven't been as active as I would like. I think it's time to change that. I should talk with Shelby, see if there are any templars we can trust. Sneaking out mages would be easier if there was some people on the inside._

Stepping off the docks into the city Anders was grateful for the familiar sights, and even smells of the place that was starting to feel like home. He made his way to his closed clinic to drop off his gear and change into his comfortable robes from the warden armor before heading to the Hanged Man for news from Varric.

"Blondie!" the dwarf greeted him boisterously, clapping him on the back when they got close. "How's the new warden commander?"

"Varric," Anders groaned. "Just Blondie or Anders, don't call me that."

"Alright, just for you," he winked before pouring him a drink. "How was Vigil's Keep?"

"Boring really, she taught me what she could, allowed me to lead a few foray into the deep roads, and heckled me about Mari," Anders began. "You know, pretty standard."

"Speaking of our beautiful leader, have you seen her yet?" Varric chuckled.

"No, working my way up there though."

"Don't bother; she's off doing something for the Viscount and Arishok."

"What did she get dragged into now?"

"We think Javaris tried to steal the recipe for their exploding powder, only it wasn't actually powder but some kind of poison gas. Hawke was asked to track him down and get it back," Varric explained. "Though this whole situation makes my chest hair itch, dwarves don't burgle…usually. If this goes south Blondie, you may want to open the clinic."

"I know, the last time your chest hair itched was when we escorted that Saarebas out of the city," Anders agreed. "And right into a squad of qunari intent on killing us."

"I told her not to take the job," Varric grumbled at the memory.

"Did you honestly expect her to say no?" Anders chuckled slightly.

"No, you bleeding heart mages always have to help your kind," Varric complained but joined Anders in the laughter. Anders stayed and chatted with the dwarf until he had finished then ale, then went to see Lirene to let her know he was back in town, and finally headed back to his clinic to get it ready because of Varric's itchy chest hair.

* * *

It was a good thing Anders decided to listen to Varric's intuition, because shortly around dusk, his clinic was inundated with patients having difficulty breathing, coughing up blood, and uncontrollable anger. All Anders could do for the uncontrollable anger was strap the victim to a cot, and hope they didn't break it in their struggle to be free. He felt bad for restraining his patients in this manner, but knew in the long run to would save him from broken noses, bruises, and other injuries. He was grateful when his assistants showed up and he was able to start them helping those with breathing difficulties while he took care of the patients coughing up blood.

For each patient Anders and his nurses helped, it seemed like two more entered in their place. He felt like he was fighting a losing battle and then Hawke showed up.

"How are you?" Anders asked, not daring to stop working on the patient in front of him.

"Crazy elf wanting to cause genocide on innocents, threatening to kill me, and intimating that there was other's behind her actions," Hawke shrugged as she coughed. "Just the same old Kirkwall."

"How's the breathing? And don't tell me you took on this problem yourself," Anders questioned, and then groaned when he realized no one else was with her.

"As much fun as that would be, no. Fenris, Aveline, and Isabela helped, I healed what I could and then sent them home with a distillation of lavender and peppermint oil for them to inhale with hot water to clear up their breathing," she explained.

"My, my, you have turned into quite the little healer, haven't you?" he teased, moving onto the next patient.

"What can I say, I had an amazing teacher. Very patient," she joked. "How can I help?"

"My two assistants have already begun helping those with breathing problems, so that's taken care of," Anders noted out loud. "You can help me with those who are coughing up blood, and if you notice any of the violent patients get loose just put them to sleep, we can heal them after we take care of the others."

With a curt nod of her head, Hawke moved off and started healing the lungs of the people coughing up blood. The two worked in silence for a few hours, and what felt like a losing battle before Hawke arrived finally began to feel possible. Finally the last patient was cared for, and the two slumped onto cots.

"It's good to have you back," Hawke stated wearily. "I thought I would have to tackle that mess by myself. When did you return?"

"Just today actually," Anders chuckled. "Only back a day and already you have me so exhausted I can't keep my eyes open. Maybe I should have stayed in Fereldan."

"Ouch, daggers to the heart," Hawke mocked.

"That's my line," Anders retorted.

"Not this time," Hawke giggled.

"It's good to see you Mari," Anders confessed, warming his tone as he watched her across from him.

"You too Anders," she smiled at him, a blush forming across her cheeks. "But I should make my way home. It's been a long day."

Hawke stood and stretched before giving Anders a wave goodbye.

"Good night Anders."

"Good night Mari."

Anders could only watch, too tired to stand and kiss her the way he wanted before she disappeared from sight. Finally he stood, went to blow out the lanterns, locked up the clinic, then stripped down to his small and collapsed into his bed, too tired even to pull on some loose breeches.


	19. A Plan to Win Her Back

Anders awoke to pounding on his clinic door, thankful for his ability to be awake and functional at a moment's notice; he pulled a shirt on over his loose breeches and went to the door to unlock it. Instead of the normal sight of someone in a bloody mess or unconscious at death's door, he was greeted by a tear stained Hawke in only a sleeping shirt.

"Mari, what are you doing here? What's wrong?" Anders asked, ushering her inside his clinic and sat her down on a nearby cot.

"I didn't know where else to go, and I couldn't stay at home," came her soft reply.

"What happened?" Anders asked, finding a blanket and throwing it over her shivering shoulders and sat next to her.

"He left me," she breathed out so quietly he almost missed it.

"Who? Who left you?" he demanded.

"Fenris…" she blurted out, the admission causing the tears to start anew, and sobbing in between her words. "He…came by…to apologize…for what he said…to me. I accidentally…touched him and he…slammed me against…a wall. Next thing I know…we're making love…after we're done…he…he told me…he told me it was…a mistake…and shouldn't…have happened…then he left me."

"Oh Mari," Anders whispered, anger, jealousy and guilt at war with each other as he as he pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry."

"I…didn't know where else…to go…and I can't stay…in my room…it…it…The memories…still linger…please, can I…can I stay here?"

"If you desire, but my cots aren't very comfortable," Anders joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Let's get you onto one of the cots near the back of the clinic. Do you need anything from the estate?"

"Thank you…Anders. No I don't…need anything. I know…I don't have…the right…to ask but…can you…stay with me…until I fall…asleep?" Hawke asked him, as he guided her to a cot in the back, partially obstructed by privacy screens.

Hawke readjusted the blanket and lay on the cot. She reached out for Anders' hand, which he took after sitting in a nearby seat. He ran his other hand through her short, silky hair, as her sobs decreased and her eyelids drooped closed, exhaustion over her grief aiding her in falling fitfully asleep. He held her hand until sleep completely overcame her, and her hand relaxed around his.

_Oh Mari, I'm sorry I haven't been around. I've been so caught up with my training from the wardens that I haven't been here. I had no idea you were getting so close to Fenris, if I had, I might have stopped you. I'm so sorry, but I'll start making it right. First I need some advice from you best bud, Bela._ Anders snuck out of his clinic, making sure not to wake Hawke on his departure and movements around the clinic. He knew it was late, but Bela was usually up until much later. Thankful for their night owl, pirate friend, he headed for the Hanged Man.

Anders was grateful when he entered the Hanged Man to find Isabela was still sitting at her usual place in the tavern still drinking and flirting with a few of the men behind her. She noticed Anders come into the bar, and waved him over.

"Anders! This is a little late for you," Isabela purred at him, as he grew close. "Is this a social call or a personal one?"

"Can we talk in private?" Anders asked, grinning slightly at the groans heard from the men around the pirate's table.

"I like the sound of that," Isabela sultry voice stated, but Anders could tell she caught on to his deeper meaning. So she took his arm, much to the annoyance of the other four men at her table and the two of them headed back to her room to close the door. "As fun as that was, I know you're not here for me. What's wrong?"

"I haven't been around much lately because of my training, but have you noticed anything between Fenris and Mari?" Anders asked.

"They've grown close while you've been gone, it's been quite the lover's triangle, I must say. Why did something happen between you two, cause I made a bet with Varric on it?" the pirate asked, a gleam in her eye.

"I wish," Anders growled in frustration. "No, she and Fenris slept together."

"What?! Balls, now I owe Varric money," Bela groused.

"Don't get too upset about it, he left her. He used her and left her," Anders choked out, remembering how much pain she was in when she showed up at his clinic. "The worst part is this has happened to her before."

"I remember that fight with her and Carver," Bela replied. "Why come to me?"

"You're her closest friend, and even though my first instinct is to go over there and beat the bloody void out of that elf for treating her like garbage, I think that may push them back together," Anders rambled, as he paced Isabela's room. "This last trip with the wardens made me realize how much I've been in love with her since the first moment I saw her."

"I could have told you that, sweetness," Bela chuckled.

"I want your help, I've got some leave time from the wardens right now because of all the time I've been gone and I'd like to plan a trip with her, somewhere romantic, but not overly so. I would like the chance to win her heart back, and I haven't been anywhere except Fereldan and the Free Marches."

"Let's go get Varric's help, he should still be up," the pirate said, leaving the room and heading towards Varric suite. The door was shut and locked, but that never stopped the industrious rogue as she swiftly picked the lock and opened the door. "Varric, darling put Bianca away, it's only me."

"Ravaini, it's late. And no, I'm not going to sleep with you," Varric snorted out, but then noticed Anders behind the rogue. "Blondie, good to see you again but I don't do threesomes with humans."

"Oh Varric, you take all the fun out of the moment," Isabela's sultry laugh echoed through the halls of the inn behind her. "That's not why we're here," she replied coming to the table and sitting in one of the chairs. "You're fabulous pick for our bet, ditched out on our girl."

"He did what?!" Varric demanded, looking sad.

"Yep, did her and ditched her," Bela replied causing Anders to flinch at her crass comment as he sat across the table from her. "Anders here wants to win back her heart, take her out of town on a trip. And given the way your boy flaked on her, I think you should help him out."

"Yeah okay," Varric grumbled, taking the seat at the end of the table between the pirate and mage and reaching for the pitcher and three mugs on the table. "What did you have in mind, Blondie?"

"That's just it; I don't know where to go. I've never been anywhere except Fereldan and some of the Free Marches. I want to take her somewhere nice, some place where it would be romantic but not forcing the issue. I'm not even sure if she would take a trip with me right now, we may have to trick her into thinking this is a trip Bela's taking her on."

"We could plan the departure date for a couple weeks from now," Varric supplied. "That way it's enough time for Leandra to realize something is wrong with Hawke, and Rivaini can propose a glorious plan for a couple weeks away from Kirkwall. That's pretty smooth, Blondie."

"Rivain, that's where you should go," the pirate spoke up. "I can recommend some great private beaches, white sands, crystal, clear waters, little bungalows, very relaxing. Are you sure I can't go?"

Anders and Varric couldn't help but chuckle at the pleading tone in Isabela's last question. "Maybe you can arrange something after a week," Anders finally stated. "But I would like to have her alone for awhile before other's show up, just no Fenris."

The two rogues nodded in unison, knowing Fenris would ruin what Anders was trying to accomplish with this trip.

"I'll start making the arrangement with Rivaini tomorrow, I wish you the best Blondie," Varric stated. "But it's late, and my bed is looking mighty welcome, so I'll ask you two to leave."

"Oh Varric, still a spoilsport," Isabela chuckled, standing up with Anders as they left the room. "I hope this works out for you," Isabela turned looking at Anders in total honesty. "It's been a bit tough on her the last few years. The nobles haven't been very welcoming of her sudden rise, but they all still clamor for her attention and service. With you being gone so much helping the wardens, the mages, and your clinic, I think she got a bit lonely. I'm not blaming you, I know you have duties, but I'm just stating facts. I think it's why she turned to Fenris, they may not get along on the issue of mages, but they would listen to each other. You will be good to her, won't you?"

"That's the intention," Anders replied.

"Good, otherwise I'll have to cut off your balls," Isabela stated, turning to her room. Anders could only watch the retreating pirate, knowing it wasn't a completely idle threat. He made his way back to his clinic, checked on Hawke before he fell asleep again. And in his dreams of the fade he found Hawke on a white, sandy beach, waiting for him.


	20. Ending the Solution

Anders was nervous. Nervous, excited, and a little bit queasy about the trip he would be taking with Hawke. Turns out they would be gone for nearly a month; the trip to Rivain would take a week each way. Lirene hadn't been thrilled that the clinic was going to be closing again so soon, but once she understood why, the romantic in her bloomed and she wished Anders well on his trip. Varric and Leandra would take care of the correspondence and business while Hawke was gone. Isabela had apparently gone shopping with Hawke, and secretly with him as well, for swimming outfits and other things she insisted the two of them would need while they were on their trip.

Currently, he was on his way to visit Mistress Shelby on the docks, she had received some news that she needed to pass onto him. It was early morning, so it was no surprise the docks were crowded and busy. Shipments, travelers, dockworkers, sailors, and the occasional kossith all crowded together in a miasmic mess. He reached the end of the docks, and found Shelby in her normal place shouting about wares and services. She knew Anders on sight, and nodded him in greeting.

"Check the board, love," she told him, without preamble, she then produced a letter from her pocket and handed it to him. "Can you deliver this to Messere Hawke? She has helped us in the past and there are some services we think she could help us with soon."

Surprised that Shelby knew of Hawke, since he had never mentioned her before, he nodded and checked her board for his message. He snagged it quickly, but did not open it for fear of prying eyes. He pocketed both before heading back to his clinic. At his clinic, he pulled out both letters, frustrated that Hawke's was sealed. He had never wanted her to get involved with the underground, she was too mired with the nobility and he wasn't sure if he could completely trust Aveline. Tearing open his own letter, he read quickly through the content and his heart stopped and his gut clenched. He read it through again, just to make sure he had read it correctly the first time. The letter was from Elsa, Meredith's tranquil assistant, she was a member of the underground mage resistance. She was not a very active member, but she would feed them information directly from the Knight-Commander's desk when it pertained to mages as a whole.

Elsa's letter informed him that Meredith had received a request from one of her more fanatical templars, Ser Alrik, to use the rite of tranquility on a more wide spread, permanent basis. A Tranquil Solution, so no person without magic need fear a magic wielder again and Meredith was seriously considering passing the request. Anders gut turned, gone was all the excitement he had felt about his trip with his Mari, now all that remained was the need to find a bucket. He turned and emptied the contents of his stomach into the bin he found. One of his assistants rushed over, and handed him a water skin when he was done.

_This cannot be allowed to pass. I don't even think my title would save me, if his "solution" was allowed in practice. I have to find the evidence, I have to get into the gallows and prove it exists, take it to the wardens, the king and queen, Sebastian, anyone who may believe me. Mari, oh sweet blood of Andraste, she would be in danger too. I have to find her, get her help. This can't be allowed._

Anders thanked his assistant, and asked her to deliver a message to Hawke. She nodded and quickly scampered off with the two letters. All Anders could do now was wait.

…

It was just after lunch when Hawke showed up with Isabela, Fenris, and Varric in tow. She looked worried, and sad. Anders was actually surprised to see Fenris in her company but Aveline was usually so busy with the guard, she went on very few jobs with Hawke anymore.

"Your note said it was important, sorry I got here as soon as I could," Hawke's voice dripped with concern.

"Have you been to the gallows lately?" Anders asked.

"I have, I was just there this morning delivering some herbs to Sol," Hawke answered. "There seem to be more tranquil than I remember."

"That confirms my fear, and the information I just received today," Anders nodded, pulling her away from the group so they could talk more privately. "I just received word that a templar named Ser Alrik is trying to pass a Tranquil Solution."

"Tranquil Solution?" Hawke gasped, understanding the implications but still unsure.

"He wants to sunder the mind of every mage in Thedas, turn us all into mindless slaves," Anders told her, venom dripping in his every word. "If this were allowed to pass, I don't even think I would be safe, or you."

"Who is this Alrik?"

"Nasty piece of work, likes to make mages beg, or push them over the edge. He's the one who did the ritual on Karl," Anders spat.

"We have to stop him," Hawke declared, defiance and a stubborn gleam in her eyes. "How do we find evidence?"

"I know a way to get us into the Gallows, I've used it in the past," Anders told her, his voice softening. _She said we, not you or I, but we. Oh I love her!_

"Can we go now? Will it be safe?" Hawke queried, clearly as antsy to find the evidence as Anders himself was.

"I believe so," Anders confirmed. "I can take us to the entrance, it's not far."

"Let's go, this is too important to delay." Hawke stated, turning back to the group. "We're going to be sneaking into the Gallows."

"Why?" Fenris barked out, a sneer on his face.

"Anders learned of a plan to turn all mages tranquil, we need to find the evidence and bring this to light," Hawke replied, looking at each of her friends.

"Maybe mages should be made tranquil." Fenris growled.

"That would mean you think I should be tranquil too," Hawke breathed quietly, causing Isabela and Varric to suck in a sudden breath as they realized the implications. "If that's how you really feel Fenris, fine. You don't have to go."

Hawke stalked past the elf, with Anders on her heels not looking back to see if Fenris followed. Anders guided Hawke to the entrance to the gallows, and was surprised to see Fenris following. _I guess not all mages should be tranquil,_ Anders thought to himself with a small smirk. The five descended into the tunnel network, and made their way towards the gallows. They had to fight their way past a few groups of lyrium smugglers, when the scream of a young girl made them start running pulling out their weapons as they neared the screams.

"No! Please don't make me tranquil, I just wanted to see my mum, no one told her where I was," the female voice pleaded.

"That's a lie," a slimy voice stated, the kind of voice that rubbed you the wrong way without needing to see the person. "What do we do with mages who lie?"

"No, I'll do anything, just don't make me tranquil," the young girl continued, the group came around the corner to witness the poor mage on her knees, begging the dozen templars surrounding her for mercy.

"That's right, you'll do anything I tell you once you're made tranquil," the leader sneered, who Anders knew right away was Alrik.

"The chantry frowns on templars who take personal advantage of their charges," Hawke stated, malice shining in her eyes as she led the group into the cavern.

"Who's this?" Alrik proclaimed, turning on the intruders.

"The Divine, come all the way from Orlais to tell you what a jackass you are," Varric chimed in, stepping up to Hawke's side.

"More mages, and mage conspirators," Alrik crowed, as if victory was in his reach. "You're tranquility or death will prove my point a great deal."

"I think you'll find we are no easy prey," Anders challenged, glaring at the man who destroyed his last love.

"You are just mages, you are no match for us," Alrik pointed out.

"Care to place a wager?" Hawke smirked, just as she flicked her wrist and froze Alrik in place. "I bet you'll be the first to die."

In reply to Hawke's words, Varric blasted Alrik frozen body with a bursting arrow that caused Alrik's body to splinter into frozen fleshy pieces that tinkled slightly as they hit the ground. Pandemonium broke out among the rest of the templars, pulling out their weapons, to take on the five intruders. Anders and Hawke began casting firestorms to keep the archers on the second tier of the cavern occupied. Isabela vanished from sight, only to appear behind the templar, holding the poor young mage by the arm threatening her with his sword; she slit his throat before he could harm the mage, and vanished again to find another target. Fenris roared, and charged his closest target, knocking the three templars huddled together on their asses and then skewered one of them in the gut. Varric found a boulder to stand on, and began picking the templars off, aiding his companions as the battle wore on.

After Hawke cast her spell, she ran into the cavern, and grabbed the young mage, pulling her towards her and Anders and protecting her from harm. The grateful young girl huddled behind the two mages, thankful to be under their protection. Isabela continued to distract the templars, taking them out with quick deliberate strikes: a throat cut here, a hamstring there, stabbing them in the gut, or riddling them full of holes before moving on. Those Isabela didn't finish off with her swift attacks; Varric terminated for her. Fenris took on a majority of the templars, dodging attacks, finding weaknesses, and killing them when he could exploit his superior speed. One of the templar archers, had managed to vanish from sight during the course of the battle, and suddenly popped up behind the three mages smiting the whole group. The young mage already kneeling on the ground was fine but Anders and Hawke both slumped as pure exhaustion washed over them with their mana completely depleted. The archer wasted no time, and aimed for Anders' heart firing his crossbow at point blank range.

"NO!" Hawke screamed, but was unable to do anything without access to her spells.

"Hawke, look out!" Varric shouted from his perch, as he fired at the archer templar. Caught off guard by Varric's bolt, the templar staggered back. Hawke pulled the dagger from her belt and shoved it under his visor through his chin and upward into his brain, killing the last remaining templar.

"Lyrium, I need lyrium," Hawke shouted frantically as she knelt next to Anders, pulling the bolt out of his heart.

"Hawke," Varric started, his voice cracking in remorse. "He's gone."

"No, I can bring him back," she promised vehemently. "I just need lyrium. Faith taught me, I can bring him back."

"Who is Faith?" Isabela asked, while she began checking the bodies of the templars.

"A spirit in the fade, she's the one who's been teaching me," Hawke cried, getting more desperate with each word.

"You made a deal with a demon and you want our help," Fenris threatened.

"No, no demon, no blood magic, just healing," Hawke adamantly hollered. "I just need bloody lyrium."

"Here," Isabela rushed toward Hawke, three lyrium bottles in her outstretched hand.

Hawke tore the stoppers out of two of the flasks, downing them quickly and placed both hands over Anders body. Fenris began pacing behind her, watching her warily as if he expected her to slit her wrists at any moment, Varric and Isabela waited in tense anticipation, and the young mage just watched in fascinated horror. A blue-white glow surrounded Hawke's hands. The wound in Anders' chest closed before the light intensified; nearly blinding the four watching Hawke work and they finally heard a strident gasp as Anders took a deep breath, returning to life.

"I did it," Hawke breathed, a mixture of disbelief and relief coloring her voice as she looked down at her fellow mage. "Anders?"

"My chest hurts," Anders moaned, trying to sit up.

"Don't move, I had to rush the healing job," Hawke enlightened him, her hand moving above his heart. "I needed to make sure we didn't lose you."

"You're a spirit healer," the girl across from her gasped. "You're very rare. I thought there were none here in Kirkwall."

"There are two," Hawke informed her, as her hand began to glow, to finish healing the wound in Anders chest. "We just aren't part of the circle. Any better Anders?"

"Much, thank you sweetheart," Anders grinned up at her.

"Take this, it'll help too," Hawke promised, holding the third lyrium bottle up to him. Anders sat up, took the lyrium from Hawke and swallowed it down. "Just rest a moment while I check for evidence."

Anders watched Hawke move off to check the bodies of the templars. Varric sidled up to the sitting mage, and stood next to him watching Hawke work.

"Blondie, you've got nothing to worry about," Varric whispered down to him.

"What do you mean?" Anders queried.

"Considering how upset she just got when you died," Varric explained. "You have nothing to worry about."

Anders could only chuckle at Varric's words and watch as Hawke looted the bodies. She was able to find a letter that proved Alrik wanted to incorporate the Tranquil Solution, but both Meredith and the Divine had refused his request. She discovered another lyrium flask, which she passed to Ella, the young mage they had saved, as well as five sovereigns and instructed her to get out of the city.

Thankful the tranquil solution would never go into effect, Anders stood with a little support from Hawke and they made their way back to Darktown.

* * *

A/N: So one of my lovely readers pointed out an inconsistency in my story, the rogue templar who can smite. And in my head I think: Why not? I can totally see Meredith wanting all of her templars knowing how to smite and cleanse even if they aren't warriors. It just made sense to me, I hope it does to you as well.


	21. Rain, Rain Go Away

It was late afternoon as they had just been dropped off on the beach, and Anders couldn't tell what Hawke was feeling. She had been quiet the entire week out here, barely saying a word to him. Isabela had included herself on the trip, but saying there was a change in plans and she had to meet a contact in Rivain to discuss Castillon's whereabouts. She told Hawke she was hoping to make it back in a few days, but she assure Anders in private that she had decided to give the two mages the full two weeks alone.

Now Anders was left standing on an idyllic beach, white sands, palm trees, and blue waters stretching for miles, and the one person who was with him wouldn't talk to him. With a sigh, Anders picked up one of the crates of supplies left on the beach by the boat that had dropped them off. He carried it to the bungalow thirty meters back from the shoreline and set it down to check out where he and Hawke would be living for the next two weeks.

The house itself looked weathered, but well maintained. There was a small porch on the front of the house, with a bench and a couple of chairs. He could make out a hammock hanging between some palm trees just around the corner of the house. Inside the cottage, there was a kitchen on the far right with a small dining table set with four chairs. Between the door and the kitchen was a living area with couch and comfortable looking chairs and a fireplace. There was also a bookshelf full of books. Anders set down his crate, and opened the door on his left to find a bedroom. The stairs directly in front of the door led up to a second bedroom and a nice sized bathroom. He headed back down the stairs, and paused when he saw Hawke hesitating in the door also carrying a crate of supplies.

"This was supposed to just be the girls," she accused, as Anders relieved her of the crate and brought it to the table to find out what was inside.

"I'm sorry when Bela invited me, I thought you knew," Anders bluffed, keeping his back to Hawke as he began unpacking the food stuffs in the crate.

"And now she's not even here," Hawke huffed, setting the other crate on the table with Anders, and opening it up to find even more food goods. "Why don't you grab the rest of the crates and supplies, I'll start unpacking."

Anders took off his pauldrons and coat, and threw it on the bed in the downstairs bedroom, before trudging back out to the beach to grab another crate of supplies. After a few trips back and forth Anders had to stop, so unused to the difficulty of walking on sand he rested on one of the chairs on the porch. Hawke surprised him by bring out a water skin, as she handed it to him and sat in the other chair. She pulled up her feet to the edge of the chair and rested her chin in her knees staring out at the rolling ocean.

"Why did you come?" she finally sighed.

"Two weeks on a beach?" Anders joked. "How could I not? Why? Would you rather I wasn't here?"

"No, then I'd be here alone," she answered simply as she stood and went out to the beach to fetch another batch of supplies.

"No love, you wouldn't be," Anders whispered before taking a deep drink from the water skin.

The rest of the afternoon and early evening was spent organizing and unpacking the supplies. The kitchen was equipped with everything they could need, minus food. The bedrooms each had a large bed, wardrobe, and desk with chair. The bathroom was rather simple, but contained a large tub that could fit two people, making Anders grin. When the supplies were put away and Hawke was about to begin making dinner Anders stopped her.

"How about a quick swim before dinner while it's still light outside and warm?" he asked, a smile brightening his amber eyes.

"I suppose," Hawke replied, nervously biting her lower lip with a faint blush forming across her cheeks but she headed upstairs to her bedroom.

Anders darted into his room, stripped quickly and pulled on the cobalt "swim trunks" Isabela had him purchase. They seemed like normal breeches, but had a slight waxy feel to the outside, and hit him just below the knees. Once ready, Anders raced outside towards the water, excitement over going for a swim in the salty water making him feel like a child again. He had dreamed about the ocean his whole life, and though he had seen it in Denerim and Amaranthine, it was always too cold to actually swim in. The water was warmer than he thought it would be against his legs, and he found himself diving under in order to submerge his entire body in its aquamarine depths. Rising up from the salty water, he pushed his hair from his face laughing and sputtering at the salt. He turned back towards the beach and the bungalow and the laughter died on his lips.

Hawke was standing at the edge of the water, the waves playfully lapping at her feet, her face bright red as she watched Anders' reaction. Forcing his jaw closed, and grateful for the fact that she couldn't see his lower half and the sudden erection she caused, Anders stared at the sexy mage on shore. The swim clothes Isabela had helped pick out for Hawke looked like brightly colored small clothes, which were a brilliant scarlet, and set off the color of her pale skin beautifully. Anders really didn't have to imagine what she looked like naked anymore, because her swim clothes left nothing to the imagination. Anders sent out a quiet thank you to Isabela, as he continued to stare at a rather uncomfortable Hawke.

"Is it that bad?" she asked, looking disappointed.

"No," Anders objected quickly, adjusting himself so he wouldn't tent his shorts as he came out of the water to stand in front of her on the beach. Boldly he continued: "It's that good."

Hawke grinned and blushed even further under his praise. Anders reached out a hand towards her, encouraging her to swim with him. She slowly took his hand, and the two walked deeper into the salty sea. She eventually broke their contact so she could dive under the water as he had done. Anders watched her glide under the surface, marveling at Hawke's grace even while swimming. She broke the surface of the water a few meters ahead of him, and spun around to face him a smile on her lovely face.

"I thought you bragged one of your escape attempts had you swimming across Lake Calenhad to escape the heavily armored templars," she challenged.

"What of it?" Anders requested, swimming out to her.

"How about a race?" she smirked.

"Where would you propose we race to, my dear? There's nothing out here but us," Anders pointed out.

"I guess we'll have to come up with something, we'll be out here for two weeks," she acquiesced. "You won't get out of a race that easily."

"Something tells me you would never let me out of the challenge," Anders snorted, swimming even closer to her and reaching for her. Hawke saw the move, and swam backwards away from him.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, mischief lightening her voice.

"Trying to catch you," he smirked.

"Not very good at it are you?" she laughed, before ducking below the surface and swimming towards shore.

"Better than you think," Anders mumbled to himself, following her slowly enjoying the feel of the water and the last rays of the setting sun. He headed towards the cabin, grateful for the large bowl of water Hawke had sitting next to the door to wash the sand from his feet. He changed out of his trunks into a simple shirt and breeches before coming out to help prepare dinner, and enjoy each other's company for the rest of the evening.

* * *

Anders awoke the next day to dull, gray light filtering into his window and as he listened he could hear the sound of rain outside. With a stifled groan at the sudden change in weather, Anders rolled out of bed and pulled on a loose shirt before padding out into the living area. He paused in the door as he watched Hawke at the table up to her elbows in flour, singing as she pounded on a mound of dough.

_Oh fair damsel of the garden,_

_Arlessa of honeysuckle and rose,_

_I humbly beg your gracious pardon_

_For the offense that here arose._

_Surely your work is far too vital_

_To be interrupted by one like me_

_I am in no way entitled_

_To earn the notice of a honeybee._

_I was a fool to pluck that flower_

_For my lady fair. On my honor I_

_Swear to bring you dozens more within the hour_

_If you give me leave to try._

_Listen traveler, if you could walk the garden paths some spring:_

_Mind that you don't trespass, for the gardeners do sting.*_

Anders was transfixed, her voice was beautiful when she spoke but now he didn't dare move for fear she would see him and stop singing. The Maker was not smiling on him today because she noticed him when she used her flour covered elbow to brush some hair from her eyes.

"Anders, I'm sorry did my singing wake you?" Hawke stopped humming and singing, flour now covering her nose.

"No, I was already awake and didn't want to disturb," Anders told her, moving towards her as he spoke. "You have a lovely voice."

Hawke barked out a disbelieving laugh before replying in a whisper: "You should have heard Bethany. She had the voice of an angel."

"Can I help at all?" Anders changed the subject, noting she didn't want to be complimented about her singing.

"Sure," she said, scrunching up her nose trying to think. "I was trying to get this done before you woke up but since that obviously didn't work, how about you take over and I can start making a different breakfast?"

"I can try," Anders responded. "But I've never helped make bread, and doesn't it need to rise before it can be baked?"

"I started this last night," Hawke confirmed.

"Wait, so you were up later and earlier than I was? Did you even sleep?" Anders joked, rolling up the sleeves on his shirt.

"Too many years on a farm, up with the chickens and asleep after dark," she quipped back. "Kneading bread is just a matter of punching and folding it until it's ready to be shaped and baked. Put flour on your hands, so you don't stick to the dough."

Anders followed her verbal instructions while she went about making eggs, bacon and warming some biscuits she made last night for dinner. After breakfast was eaten, she set to work making sweet rolls, jelly rolls and a large loaf of bread. By the end of her ministrations, the whole house smelled of yeast and spices making Anders stomach grumble loudly. Laughing as she patted his protesting stomach, Hawke pulled a block of cheese from the icebox and set about making a simple fare of fresh baked bread, cheese, salted meat, and dried fruit.

"Two out of three meals, your turn to make dinner," she smirked at him as they finished their mid-day meal.

"Have it your way, but you'll just get this again," Anders laughed, starting to wash the dishes. "How do you know so much about cooking anyway?"

"Family?" Hawke reminded him in the form of a question as she pulled a large pot out of one of the cabinets before setting it on the stove. Filling it with ice, she quickly melted the ice with a fire spell and cut up potatoes, carrots, celery and threw in chunks of roasted chicken before setting it to simmer. "After father was killed, mother taught me just in case anything happened to her so I could continue to take care of the twins. She still does most of the cooking at home, but every now and then I cook as a treat for her. Granted now Orana is learning from mother, but she was anxious to learn. It's like she so afraid I'll go back on making her a servant she goes out of her way to be as useful as possible. I feel badly for her, to have that much fear in your heart all the time. Fear of being beaten, being starved, it just makes my gut twist."

"How did your mother react when she showed up at the house?"

"Positively livid," Hawke grinned at the memory as she leaned on the counter. "It took me hours to calm her down and explain that I intended to pay her."

"So what do you intend to do with the rest of the day?" Anders asked, changing the conversation.

"I'll probably just read," she replied, moving to the stairs and ending the conversation. Not wanting to push his luck, Anders went into his bedroom, but left the door open and began scribbling away at the manifesto he brought with him by candlelight. He wasn't entirely sure how much time had passed but when he heard Hawke calling his name for dinner, he noticed it was dark outside. The two ate the chicken stew she had made, conversing as they ate.

"I can tell Isabela picked out all the supplies," Hawke told him, after finishing her helping of stew.

"Why's that?" Anders questioned, resisting the urge to lick the bowl clean.

"The amount of alcohol she sent," Hawke chuckled, motioning towards the four crates stacked up behind the table that Anders hadn't noticed before. "Two crates of wine and two of rum. It's like she expected to spend the whole time making me completely drunk."

"Bela is always trying to get in everyone's pants," Anders pointed out, going over to the crates and pulling out a bottle of wine. "We might as well put it to good use."

Anders found two wine glasses in the kitchen, pulled out the cork on the bottle, and poured them each a generous glass of the wine. They spent the next few days like this, waiting out the rain, growing more anxious with each passing day.

* * *

A/N: The song/poem Hawke sings is Codex Entry: Meditations and Odes to Bees from Dragon Age: Origins.


	22. Winning Her Heart

Anders awoke and noticed it was still raining. Growling audibly in his frustration, he climbed out of bed and got dressed for the day. It was getting harder for both of them to stay cooped up in the bungalow these last few days. Hawke was starting to get antsy; a whirlwind of energy being forced in one confining space was starting to wear on her. And Anders was trying his hardest not to make a move on her too early but it was getting harder each day watching her cook meals for him, talk with him, and just be herself with him. The woman he already loved but just couldn't figure out how to tell her without possibly ruining the rest of their time here.

Leaving his bedroom, he found Hawke with her back to him, rolling out dough of some kind with a long thin rod. Again he caught her singing, as was her morning routine, when she worked in the kitchen:

_Down by the SalleyGardens_

_My love and I did meet;_

_She passed the Salley Gardens_

_With little snow-white feet._

_She bid me take my love easy,_

_As the leaves grow on the tree;_

_But I, being young and foolish,_

_With her would not agree._

_In a field by the river_

_My love and I did stand,_

_And on my leaning shoulder_

_She laid her snow-white hand._

_She bid me take life easy,_

_As the grass grows on the weirs;_

_But I was young and foolish,_

_And now am full of tears.*_

He crept up behind her as she sang; looking at the trappings on the table and realized she was making pie, and not just any pie but cherry, his favorite.

"I love cherry pie," he whispered in her ear, when she finished singing.

"Me too, it's why I'm making it," she whispered back, as if it were a secret. "There are only a couple sweet rolls left; we've been pretty hard on them the last few days. If you need me to make you some eggs or something to go with them I can."

"I can munch on these until you're done," Anders replied picking up one of the sweet rolls on the counter. He watched her as she flipped the crust she had rolled out onto the filled bottom crust, and began cutting off the excess crust before pinching the two together. He was fascinated at her methodical work, and after almost finishing the last sweet roll, he put down the bite he had left to ask her a question.

"How long will your pie take? If it doesn't take too long, perhaps I'll just have pie."

"It'll take about an hour to bake and then it needs to cool," Hawke laughed as she snatched up the piece of sweet roll he set on the table.

"Hey, that's mine," Anders warned, eyes narrowing on her mischievous face.

"Really? Are you sure? I think I'm the one holding it," she laughed, backing away from him as he advanced on her.

"Don't make me come after you."

"Catch me if you can," she squealed in glee as she popped the piece in her mouth.

Hawke streaked out into the rain with only a moment's pause, even though the last of the sweet roll had disappeared into her mouth already, Anders chased after her without thought. The downpour immediately soaked through his clothing, bringing a slight chill to his skin despite the warmth of the rain. He ran as fast as he was able in the wet sand, but she was dodging trees, and making it hard for him to catch up to her. She paused, turning quickly back to look at him, when he tried to grab her, she dodged out of the way causing him to stumble and almost fall into the sand. Pushing off with his hands, he turned and resumed his pursuit of the sexy thief. She had taken off behind the house, and he followed. Anders cleared the house, but could not see Hawke.

A feminine giggle sounded to his left, turning he saw Hawke up against their bungalow before she took off again in the direction of the ocean. He was able to catch up to her quickly, since she was laughing more than actually running. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he spun her around with her causing her to laugh even more but she was a wriggling, wet body still trying to get away. He set her down on her feet with her back pressed to his chest, she was squirming in his arms trying to break his hold which caused heat and desire to shoot through his body and stiffen his member pressed against her arse. She stilled once she felt his erection sandwiched between their bodies.

"Anders," she breathed out quietly.

"Yes, my dear," he whispered into her ear.

"What about Elissa?" as she rested her hands on his arms.

"What about her?"

"I thought you and her…" she trailed off before trying again. "I mean, you speak so fondly of her and you were gone for five months."

"Elissa and I are just friends, I respect her, she saved me from the templars not once, but twice and she's the reason I'm a warden," he explained to her. "_And_ she's in love with Nathaniel. Even if none of these reasons were true, there is one thing she is not and that's you."

Anders felt Hawke shiver in his arms; he loosened his grip when he felt her want to turn towards him. Hawke's cerulean eyes searched his own amber ones, looking for the lie in his words. When she realized the truth in what Anders confessed to her, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, tender and sweet. Hawke put one hand over his heart and the other around his neck. She tilted her head, deepening the kiss causing Anders' arms to tighten around Hawke, bringing her body even closer to his own. Their tongue met in a familiar dance that caused Anders to groan when he realize it had been too long since he'd kissed this breathtaking mage. He finally let her go, moving one hand to the base of her skull, and the other around her body resting on her butt.

Hawke's soft hands explored his wet body, starting with his broad shoulders before moving down his muscled arms. Her hands swooped back up, before caressing his chest and exploring his abs. She paused at the hem of his breeches causing Anders to moan in her mouth, before continue around his waist and exploring the broad expanse of this back. He was certain she could feel the scars there, the welts from past whippings, but she didn't pause before dropping her arms around his waist and giving him a quick squeeze. Hawke finally broke the kiss, and they stayed in each others arms breathless from passion.

"Perhaps we should take this inside," she finally suggested, desire dripping from every word.

"That's what I was hoping you'd say," Anders groaned out as she took his hand and led him into the house.

Anders pressed her rain-soaked body against his closed bedroom door, and began kissing and nibbling her neck. Hawke fumbled for the end of his shirt, to bring it over his head and the shirt hit the floor with a wet slap. Anders blazed a trail down Hawke's neck, to her collarbone but didn't stop there as he made his way down to her breasts causing Hawke to moan at his touch. He licked the pert bud he could see through her wet shirt, causing her to shiver at the sudden attention. He palmed her other breast, kneading and flicking as his mouth lathed attention to the first. Realizing she still had her shirt on, Anders growled quietly before quickly pulling her shirt off and dropping it right on top of his own. He was surprised to find she wasn't wearing a breastband or her swimming top, and the fact that she had been without both this morning made him even harder with desire for her.

Once free of her shirt, Hawke opened his bedroom door, and backed away from him towards his bed. He followed her lead, without breaking eye contact, she reached for the ties on his breeches but he pushed her hands away. Instead going for her own ties, and undoing them, letting the wet pants pool at her ankles. Anders knees nearly gave out when he realized she wasn't wearing smalls either. "Mari," he moaned as he took in the site of her now naked form.

His lips crashed down on her lips again, the kisses becoming frenzied as their desire for each other built. His hands explored every inch of her body he could reach while they were kissing. Her breathing turned to pants and stifled moans as one of his hands dipped into her dark curls between her legs. He dipped one finger into her folds and found her warm and already wet. One finger became two, causing her to keen his name in pleasure. She fumbled with the ties on his breeches again, and with tremendous concentration loosens the ties so his own pants fall to his ankles. Hawke freed his penis from his smalls, grasping his member with one of her hands and matched the pace Anders had set with his own fingers. He growled out her name, enjoying the feel of her warm hand on his cock. He found her nerve center with his thumb and began to rub in tandem with his fingers, but the pleasure was too much and her knees buckled, forcing Anders to catch her and guide her onto the bed.

She started to wiggle back, but Anders held her hips and pulled her arse to the edge of the bed, as he knelt down in between her knees. He gently took one of her legs and starting at her toes, kisses, nibbles, and licked his way up until he reaches her hot center. Her eyes are hooded and a deep cobalt as she watches him, anticipation and need written all over her face. He rubbed the stubble on his jaw against the inner flesh of her tender thigh causing her to moan in the pleasure and pain the sensation brings. Anders put her foot on his shoulder, and gently shrugged it back behind him so her thigh rested on his broad shoulder. He gazed at her hot, slick core with hunger before glancing at his Mari with a devilish grin on his face. Keeping their eyes locked, her licks her quickly across her opening before finishing on her nerve center watching as her eyes closed and she hisses as her face disappears from view, her back arching from the pleasure of his tongue's caress.

"More," she lustfully growled out causing Anders to harden even further, but he was all too happy to oblige. His tongue delved into her folds, making her hips buck and Anders had to hold her in place, gripping her hips. He tongue danced inside her causing her to gasp as he enjoyed her musky taste. His forefinger and middle finger replaced his tongue, as he licked his was up to her clit. As he suckled and lightly nibbled her nerve center, his fingers working inside her, her hands fisted in his blonde locks, pulling them free of their binding. She moaned his name, demanding release as he built her up towards her climax. Just when she was about to climax, Anders sent a burst of electricity through his tongue and onto her nerve center, making her buck wildly as she peaked.

Anders stood quickly, shucking his smalls as he did, as he watched her orgasm abate, and he plunged into her to the hilt, sending her careening into another orgasm, keening his name as her muscles quivered around his intrusion. When her second orgasm dissipated, he pulled out gently, missing her tight warmth as soon as it was gone. He adjusted her easily on the bed, and settled himself on top of her, keeping most of his weight on his forearms so as not to hurt the petite mage under him. Hawke looked at him with glazed eyes, and pulled him towards her to begin a languid, passionate kiss. Their tongues caressed and danced over lips, tongue, and teeth as they explored each other's mouths. Hawke broke the kiss, staring into his passion filled brandy eyes.

"I want you inside me," she whispered, almost begging to be complete again. She reached for his rock-hard member, and guided him into her. Her slick passage accepted him readily and they moaned in unison as Anders filled her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, to allow him better mobility, as he started a slow pace. Anders licked Hawke's bottom lip, and when she opened her mouth he danced away teasingly, causing her to moan in frustrated pleasure. He kissed down her jaw line, until he got to her ear. He nibbled gently on her earlobe, before licking her neck in the soft spot just below the ear. Hawke shuddered and groaned his name while her supple fingers gripped his shoulders. He palmed one of her breast, causing her to arch her back into his kneading touch.

"Faster," she groaned, finding the pace Anders set agonizing on her still sensitive nerves. Anders chuckled deep in his chest, and whispered: "As you wish, my love," before increasing the pace. Hawke met each of his fluid thrusts with fervour. Her fingers began digging into his back as she moaned his name repeatedly. Anders felt as if he was about to reach his own climax, but he held the sensation at bay, increasing his pace again to bring Hawke to peak again. Her fingers began to claw at his back in pleasure as he pushed her to the precipice of pleasure. Her cries and moan of pleasure became louder, and she finally cried out his name as she shattered in his arms. The blonde mage felt Hawke's pulsating muscles, and with just a few more thrusts, he too joined the wonderful mage in his arms, filling her with his seed as she milked him dry.

Anders felt immense satisfaction at the bliss evident on Hawke's face as they lay next to each other, breathless from their exertions. He lay on his back, but pulled Hawke towards him so she lay on her side next to him, her head resting on his chest, so his hand could glide up and down her velvety back. He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead, as she laced her fingers with the hand that lay on his chest. They lay together quietly for awhile until Hawke finally broke the silence.

"Did you mean it?" she dared whisper.

"Mean what?"

"You called me your love, did you mean it?"

"Every word," Anders confirmed gently. "My last trip with the wardens made me realize how much I love you. You were on my thoughts everyday, and Elissa would tease me mercilessly when I wouldn't know the answer to a question she had just asked because I hadn't been listening, instead thinking of you. So yes Mari, you are my love, I would spend the rest of my life by your side, if you'll let me."

"I love you too, Anders," Hawke voiced softly. "I think I always have."

Anders' heart swelled at her words, but he had to find out about the elf still left behind in Kirkwall.

"I hate to ruin this moment, but I have to know," Anders started. "What about Fenris?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly, meeting his amber gaze. "I care for him, I won't deny that. He started to protect me, shielding me from getting hurt, often causing him to be hurt instead. That selfless protection I think is why I was with him. But after, when he told me it was a mistake, his dismissal was too much like Birk's. It opened that old wound again and I don't know if I could ever forgive him for that."

"I appreciate your honesty, would you ever take him back, if he asked?" Anders dared to ask.

"Maker no!" she proclaimed vehemently. "You see, there's this mage, he's very handsome: tall, blonde, well built, with eyes I get lost in. I saw him slinging fire and ice spells around trying not to die at the hands of Carta dwarves. In a strange turn of events, I was the knight in shining armor, protecting the damsel in distress. He's held my heart since that day, he just didn't know it."

"Well he does now," Anders smiled at her cheeky grin before tilting her face up and kissing her berry colored lips with all the love and passion he felt for her. Their kiss was interrupted by Anders' stomach protesting his recent activities and lack of breakfast. Hawke giggled, sliding out of bed, pulling him with her to get them both something to eat. They ate quickly, both distracted by their nakedness, before rushing back into the bedroom to make love the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

* Hawke's song is "Down by the Salley Garden" a poem by W.B. Yeats.


	23. A Life Changing Question

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, I struggled with getting Anders and Hawke off the beach without turning it into a 5 chapter stretch of fluffy sex-bunny scenes. It was easier to get them off the beach and use other ideas later in the story. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Anders shifted half asleep in bed, when a ray of sunshine blinded him, even with his eyes closed. Groaning at the intrusion on his happy thoughts, he reached out for his Mari but found only empty bed. The lack of her presence made him crack open an eye to discover that she was in fact, not in the room. Growling at his apparent desire for her, but seeing her no where in sight, he crawled out of bed, and pulled on a pair of clean breeches before going to find his little minx.

She wasn't out in the kitchen, but signs of her presence where there. She had baked up more bread and sweet rolls, as well as the cherry pie she prepared yesterday before they had distracted each other. Grabbing a sweet roll, he bounced up the stairs, but could find no sign of her in either the upstairs bedroom or the bathroom. Suddenly realizing this is Hawke he was looking for, a woman who hates to be cooped up, he checked outside, and was greeted with her nearly naked form lying out on the beech. Hurrying back to switch out his breeches for the swim trunks he moved to join her.

As he got close to her, he realized she was lying on a blanket and it looked like she was sleeping. He stared at this woman who had given her heart to him, not really understanding how he had become so lucky to have someone like her in his life.

"See something you like?" Hawke cheekily queried, breaking Anders out of his reverie.

"Definitely," Anders stated, lying down on the large blanket next to her. "Though I'm not entirely sure this isn't just a dream."

"A dream?" Hawke asked, keeping her eyes shut as she enjoyed the feel of the warm sun on her skin.

"I had this amazing dream about a beautiful woman who told me she loved me, but when I looked around she vanished. Now I must be sleeping walking, because I found her again, and she's just as lovely as I remember."

"You do lay it on thick, don't you?" Hawke laughed, still ignoring him.

"Only when I'm being ignored," he growled pulling her onto him, so she could finally feel his need for her.

"I wasn't ignoring you," she panted, desire darkening her gaze. "I was just seeing how long it would take you to show me your desire in that rather large tent."

Her bold proclamation caused Anders to chuckle darkly, before pulling her down to kiss him. He groaned in her mouth when her hips rubbed enticingly over his swollen member. His hands explored her body, caressing and enticing her to even greater depths of desire for him. He was surprised when she reached into his trunks and pulled him out. He had been so captivated by the feel of her body under his hands, he hadn't even noticed her undoing the ties. She sat up to kneel above him, before flicking the thin fabric of her bottoms out of the way, and lowering herself onto him. He growled at the slow pace as she enveloped him inch by slow inch. He heard her sigh once she had surrounded him to the hilt.

She sat there for a moment before shifting her hips, causing him to moan at the please she brought with the simple movement. She raised herself from him, to the point where he was almost completely free of her, before sliding back down. Hawke set a slow pace at first. Anders let her set the speed, trying to keep from taking control. He reached up for her pert breast, kneading, stroking, and fondling as she worked him, causing her to throw back her head with a moan. She leaned forward, her hands resting on his chest, so she could pick up speed. Anders sat up so he could kiss her and explore her body as she continued to spear herself on top of him. They were moaning in unison, their pleasure in each other mounting with each shift of her hips. Anders felt him reaching for his peak, so he found her button, and began rubbing it, causing her to keen. She was close but he was closer, unable to hold back, Anders began thrusting rapidly into her, still massaging away at her clit until Hawke's climax rocketed through her causing her to scream his name. A few more thrust brought him to his own release, and the two mages shuddered and shook in each other's arms as the waves of pleasure began to abate. They finally collapsed in a tangle of limbs, sated for the moment.

"I've always wanted to try that," Hawke smirked as she kissed Anders' neck.

"What? The amazing sex outside or being on top?" Anders queried, smiling in satisfaction.

"Mmm, good point. Both I guess, but mostly the on top," Hawke replied cheekily.

"Love, feel free to use me any way you want," Anders grinned.

"You know what else I've fantasized about?" Hawke smiled cheekily.

"This I have to hear."

"Making love in the ocean," Hawke whispered in Anders' ear before she prepared to stand.

"Oh love," Anders groaned, trying to keep her in his arms. "As hot as that sounds, we can't. It could be dangerous, for you."

"Why?" she asked, concern in her voice as she kneeled beside him.

"That salt and bacteria in sea water can cause infections," Anders explained, as he pulled her back down to him. "Regular water is fine but no salt water."

"So I can make you take a bath with me every morning?" Hawke began kissing his neck again.

"You are going to kill me, love," Anders grumbled half-heartedly.

"But what a way to go," Hawke purred. "Death by orgasm."

"I can see Isabela wanting to die like that," Anders joked.

Hawke laughed with him, and the two mages quieted holding each other in the sun. They shared the occasional caress or kiss but mostly they just enjoyed being together. As the sun approached high-noon, Hawke's hand stilled causing Anders to look at her with worry.

"You okay love?"

"Just thinking," she replied, a touch of worry in her voice.

"About what?" he pressed.

"I don't exactly know how to ask this since I've never done anything like this before," she started, pulling away from him to kneel at his side. "I was just wondering if you might want to live with me. You know move in with me at the estate. I understand if it's too soon and if you would rather not-" Anders sat up and silenced her ramblings with a kiss.

"You would have me live with you? An apostate?" he asked, not believing his ears.

"I'm an apostate too," she stated indignantly.

"I know love, but the entire city knows I'm one, the nobility still has no idea you are too," Anders pointed out.

"I understand," Hawke sighed, pain entering her eyes at what she perceived was his rejection. She stood to go back into the cottage, but was pulled down into Anders lap with a squeal of surprise. He adjusted her so she was sitting in between his legs, his arms wrapped around her holding her against him.

"Now love, you must stop doing that," Anders admonished.

"Doing what?"

"Taking questions for rejection, I didn't say no," he gently told her. "I just wanted to make sure this is what you wanted."

"Do I strike you as the kind of person who asks questions they don't mean?" Hawke questioned, her annoyance rising.

"No love, you don't," Anders chuckled lightly. "But before I give you an answer, there's something I should tell you."

"This sounds serious," Hawke noticed, turning her attention towards him.

"I don't want to lie to you. You were lured out here under false pretenses," Anders explained.

"False pretenses?"

"Isabela never intended to be out here with you."

"What does that mean?"

"I had Varric and Bela help me plan this trip," Anders explained, bracing for her anger. "It was a way for me to get you out here."

"It was never supposed to be a girl's trip?" Hawke asked, awareness sinking in.

"No, love, I wanted to show you how much I cared for you but I wasn't sure if you would have been willing to take this trip knowing it would just be me. So I had Bela invite you to get you to come."

"I guess I was wrong then," Hawke stated, a serious tone to her voice.

"What about?" Anders queried, fear gripping his heart.

"You are good at catching the girl," she declared, a smile lighting up her face.

"Only with you love," Anders laughed. "And I would like to come live with you. I never thought to find someone like you. A mage, living free like me, someone who understands me, knows the prejudice we live with everyday."

"I guess that makes up both lucky," she smirked, meeting his amber gaze before she kissed him. "But I'm getting hungry and though I would like to stay out here all day after being cooped up with the rain for the last four, I know I should spend the rest of the day inside or at least in the shade."

Anders followed her into the bungalow for their mid-day meal. The next week passed by in a blur: they spent every moment they could enjoy the seclusion the beach offered them. Their days were spent swimming, eating, and making love as much as possible. Soon their time was up, and Isabela and the ship returned. She watched the two mages walk hand in hand from the cottage and the pirate couldn't help but smirk

"Did you have a good time?" Isabela cooed.

"You have no idea," Hawke replied, blushing slightly when she looked at Anders.

"We have a whole week for details," Isabela stated, helping load the few crates of supplies onto the rowboat.

"No, no details," Anders insisted.

"I will admit I owe you for this trick to get me out here Bela," Hawke smirked coming up and wrapping her arms around the busty pirate. "I owe you _big_."

"This is how you'll pay me back," Isabela purred. "Dirty details."

The two mages only laughed at the pirate's attempt to beg, and climbed into the boat to return to Kirkwall and all the problems waiting for them.


	24. Distrust

Anders had just spent a busy day at the clinic, his first one back in Kirkwall since his vacation with Hawke. He had been busy, being gone so long there were a number of refugees who had become ill in his absence. But now evening had settled over the city, and he was carrying a bag with his few belongings. He was reaching the ivy covered walls of her mansion when the hairs on the back of his head began to stand on end. Anders dropped the bag and pulled out his staff in one swift motion, preparing to defend himself if need be. Instead he was greeted by the sight of Fenris glaring at him from the shadows.

"What are you doing here?" Anders demanded.

"I could ask the same of you," Fenris replied stalking from the shadows towards the wary mage eyeing the bag on the ground at his feet behind him. The two stared each other down.

"Did you need something?" Anders asked, putting his staff back in its sling on his back.

"You…will be living with Hawke?" Fenris stared at Anders' bag on the ground outside the estates entrance.

"What's it to you?" Anders retorted.

"Be good to her," Fenris warned growling. "Break her heart, and I will kill you."

"That's rich, coming from you," Anders laughed wryly. "You threw her away and now you think to lecture me on breaking her heart?"

"I did not throw her away," Fenris sighed.

"So the fact that you slept with her, told her it was a mistake, and then left was not throwing her away?" Anders snapped out. "That's very hard to imagine, especially since she's already been through that pain once in her life. You were the second person to use her and then dismiss her without regard for her feelings. You were an idiot to leave her."

"And _you_ were fast enough to replace me!" Fenris roared, stepping closer to Anders.

"I _love_ her!" Anders declared just as loudly, not backing down from the enrage elf. "You can't even imagine what that is."

"Do not bare you heart to me, mage, unless you would have me rip it out." Fenris threatened, the lyrium in his skin beginning to light up from his rage.

"Oh yes, rip out my heart and prove to Mari what an _animal_ you really are," Anders taunted. "Only one person can rip another's heart out which would make it pretty obvious to her that you killed the man she invited into her home, to share her life. The man she loves."

Anders' words staggered the elf and Fenris stepped away, his normally brooding face awash in uncertainty. Fenris stared at the ground before his eyes flicked to the estate and Anders would have sworn he saw pain in his eyes before Fenris turned away.

"Did you need to talk to Hawke?" Anders asked uncertainty and guilt clouding the question as he raked a hand through his blond hair, pulling strand from his ponytail.

"No," Fenris firm reply echoed quietly through the square, before he disappeared into the shadows of Hightown.

Anders stood in the square in front of the Amell estate, pondering what he had just seen on the warriors face before he departed. _Does he love her? I find that hard to believe if he so callously tossed her aside but the pain I saw...I must be imagining things._ Anders dismissed his thoughts quickly before picking up his bag, and knocking on the mansion's door.

Hawke opened the door, breathless and her cheeks pink from excitement. She gave Anders a hug and quick kiss before moving back and allowing him access into her…their home.

"Welcome home," she whispered. "Everyone has been thrilled that you are moving in. Mother was a little put out at first, but I think she's over it now."

"Hello Anders," Leandra stated, appearing from out of nowhere with an appraising look in her eyes. "I can't say I fully appreciate my daughter's choice, I would much rather have her marry a nobleman."

"Mother," Hawke warned. "We talked about this."

"But in this she and I are alike," Leandra continued as if her daughter had never spoken and her face softened to smile at the blonde mage. "Following our hearts and not what is expected by propriety and the nobility. Welcome to your new home."

Anders was pulled into a hug with Leandra Amell, catching him off-guard by her warm welcome. He stuttered out a thank you, unsure of what to do but he followed Lady Amell around the house on a tour. He had been to the mansion before and had given it a cursory glance, never imagining that he would ever be living here. Now each room was a new adventure to be discovered. The library and study held a special interest when Mari explained that she had compiled quite the collection of magical tomes. Finally the tour ended at the bedroom he would be sharing with Hawke and Leandra left the two mages to check on dinner.

He followed her into her room, taking in the lush surroundings, Vigil's Keep had been nice, but the rooms the wardens stayed in didn't compare to the extravagance of the room around him now. The bed was a large four poster affair that dominated the room covered in plush pillows and blankets, scarlet with gold trim. When there used to only be once wardrobe, there were now two, one of each side of the bed for his belongings and her's. There was a large fireplace, with a rug and two plush armchairs in front of it. A privacy screen offered a changing area complete with a vanity. There was a spacious desk with a few letters but it was mostly dominated by what appeared to be a large brown journal. Hawke perched on the end of the bed, watching him with a coy smile on her face.

"I can't believe I get to live here with you," he finally breathed out, causing Hawke to giggle.

"Bodahn had his hands full today; we hired a couple men from Fereldan to help us rearrange the furniture to make room for the extra wardrobe, and chair. Then he had to do a rush job at the locksmith to get you keys made," she explained pulling out a key ring with two keys on it. She pointed to the grander key explaining it was for the front door and the other simple key was for the cellar.

"The cellar?" Anders inquired, looking closer at the key. "Why do I need a key for the cellar? Do you keep the wine under lock and key?"

"I'll show you," Hawke giggled, taking his hand and leading him through the kitchen, past the vault, and into the cellar. She wound her way through the rooms of the cellar until they reached a back hatch in the floor. "Open it," she commanded him.

Anders complied, and climbed down the ladder under the door and found himself standing just outside his clinic.

"I figured if the coterie or carta ever decided to harass you or Meredith decided to send her templars after you, you would need a quick escape route," Hawke explained peaking down at him, still inside the mansion's cellar. "You and Bodahn are the only ones with keys."

"Is this how you manage to magically appear in my clinic?" Anders questioned, climbing up the ladder back into the cellar.

"You've discovered my secret," she laughed, as he closed the hatch behind him. "Now how about some dinner, are you hungry?"

"Famished," Anders grinned devilishly at her. "And not just for food."

Anders ate a large dinner with Leandra and Hawke, thankful for the welcome of both these women. He hadn't felt at home like this since his time in the wardens and he was just thankful to feel it once again. After dinner, Leandra retired to the library to read, while Anders and Mari made their way to the bedroom to change for a night at the Hanged Man. Apparently Varric wanted to throw them a welcome home party. Anders became distracted by Hawke's undressing, and they soon found themselves in midst of heated, passionate kisses, both in various states of undress when their bedroom door banged open.

"I guess we should have knocked," Merrill's tiny voice stammered out, her face growing a bright shade of red all the way to the tips of her ears. She turned around to leave, but ended up running into a smirking Isabela.

"Now you really have to give me details," the pirate purred, eyeing the two mages with a lascivious expression.

"Rivaini, I think you'll have to get them pretty drunk to get any details out of those two," Varric offered, standing next to her watching the two mages with mild amusement. "We were at Broody's mansion to force him to this thing, but he was no where to be found. Since we were in the area, we thought we would pick you up too."

"Give us time to get dressed Varric," Anders recovered from the intrusion faster than Hawke, who was currently huddled behind him, trying to hide the fact that she was almost completely naked, whereas Anders still had breeches on. When the three friends closed the door, Anders turned to Mari with a sheepish expression on his face.

"I need better locks on my doors," Mari muttered petulantly before getting dressed.

"Or friends who aren't consummate lock experts," Anders advised, with a chuckle. The two got dressed quickly, and joined their friends down in the foyer before heading down to the Hanged Man for a night of drinking, cards, and fun.

* * *

Anders was tired; he had spent most of the morning at the clinic, catching up with those who became ill while he was away with Mari and hadn't been able to cure the day before. After lunch, traffic at the clinic had abated, so he headed to Viscount's Keep to catch up on his warden duties. His desk had been a mess of reports, correspondence, and paperwork. He spent a few hours sorting through the mess before his eyes began to hurt, and he gave up for the day._ Most of these are a few weeks old, what are a couple more days to get it sorted?_ He reasoned to himself, before heading to the Hawke estate. He hoped to catch a quick bath and nap before dinner.

He entered the estate and began to make his journey back to their bedroom when he heard Mari's unmistakable voice coming from the library. He stepped in, and was greeted with the sight of Fenris and Hawke sitting close together in front of the fire. Hawke had a book on her lap, and Fenris was pointing at the words saying them as his finger moved. He watched their interaction, anger and jealousy spiking in his gut at their closeness, the tenderness he saw Fenris treating Hawke. Anders must have made a noise unintentionally, because the two looked in his direction suddenly. Fenris looked at him with smug satisfaction, while his Mari looked happy and then confused at the expression on his face.

He walked out of the library without a word, seething at the warmth he had witnessed between the two. He vaguely heard Hawke dismiss Fenris, and then her rushing after him. He began walking faster until he slammed their bedroom door behind him. The door opened and closed so quietly he didn't hear it.

"What's wrong, Anders?" she asked him, concern coloring her tone making him even angrier.

"Why is he here?" Anders shouted, pacing the room in front of the large balcony window.

"I've been giving him reading lessons the last couple years," Hawke told him, honesty shining from her eyes. "He asked me this morning if I could start teaching him again."

"So he's been here all day?"

"No, he stopped by this morning and then he came with me to meet with Sebastian at the chantry," Hawke explained, cautiously sitting on the bed watching him pace. "Sebastian had discovered who had hired the mercenaries that wiped out his whole family a few years back, and asked for my help confronting the people who were behind the attack. Isabela, Fenris and I helped him out and found the head of the family had made a deal with a desire demon."

"And why does he need these reading lessons?" Anders pacing slowed as Hawke explanation made sense.

"Well, umm…" Hawke began nervously. "Don't tell him I told you, he would be very upset with me, but slaves were never permitted to learn. I offered to teach him after I gave him a book about Shartan as a gift. He was upset at first, thinking I was doing it out of pity but soon he agreed and I've been helping him learn every since."

"Why teach him here?"

"Would you rather I teach him at his mansion, where your apparent jealousy will get the better of you and you'll come up with all kinds of untrue scenarios?"

"No," Anders answered sullenly.

"Does he live with me?" she asked him, coming to stand in front of Anders by the window.

"No."

"Does he share my bed at night?" she questioned further, interlacing her hands behind his head.

"No."

"Does he hold my heart?" Hawke queried again, pulling him close to her lips.

"No," Anders breathed out with a sigh before giving in to Mari's soft lips.

"You look stressed," Hawke observed, after breaking off their kiss. "How about I have Orana draw you a bath, and we work on relieving some of that stress?"

"Only if you join me in the tub," Anders grinned, enjoying the idea of a relaxing night with his love.

"I think you can convince me," Hawke flirted, before leaving the room to find the young servant.

Anders closed the curtains, to ensure privacy once full dark settled over the city. He felt like a fool for not trusting Hawke, especially when she had been so upfront with her feelings but he wasn't going to spend the rest of the night kicking himself for his jealousy. Seeing the satisfaction on the elf's face when Anders saw them in the library made him realize that Fenris did in fact have deeper feelings for his Mari than he ever let on but he was foolish and tossed away the best woman in this city and Anders refused to feel regret for Fenris' folly. It wasn't long before Hawke entered the bedroom saying his bath was ready.

Anders was able to convince Hawke to join him in the tub where they took turns washing each other before the touching became too much and they made love in the warm water. Thankful for the thick stone walls of the bathroom, they didn't need to fear the rest of the house hearing their pleasured moans. After their bath, Anders received a full body massage from Hawke, as she used both her skills with fire and healing to relax his knots and sore muscles away. Feeling like putty in Hawke's hands, Anders didn't want to move so Hawke ordered a tray of food to be delivered to their room, which only ensured his continuing relaxation for the rest of the night at the hand of his love.


	25. Betrayed by His Own Desires

Anders and Hawke were sitting in the library, he was pretending to work on his manifesto, and Hawke was trying to read but really they were watching each other, trying not to give into their carnal desires so soon before dinner. There was a knock on the door, and Hawke noticed Bodahn hurry to answer. She could make out some whispered voices but not what was said, so she went back to smiling coyly at Anders.

"Messere, a message just arrived for you, the man said it was urgent," Bodahn instructed Hawke, as he brought her the letter. Hawke tore it open and Anders watched as her playful smile vanished to be replaced by fear.

"What is it, love?" Anders asked, coming to sit beside her on the couch.

"It's from Arianni," Hawke began explaining. "Feynriel has been asleep for two days now, and can't be woken up. Keeper Marethari is already at the alienage, she needs my help right away. I have to go help him, I don't know what they'll need me to do but I have to try."

"I'll help you," Anders insisted, as he stood and left the library. "Bodahn, we have to go help a young boy, please let Leandra know but do not hold dinner for us. We may not be back until late."

"As you wish, Messere Anders," Bodahn replied before rushing off to make sure the instructions were followed. The two mages rushed upstairs to change into their robes before grabbing their staves and heading towards the alienage. They stopped off in the Hanged Man to see if they could find any of their companions, and were please just about everyone was already there. Varric and Fenris joined them, and they headed towards the alienage.

"I received your message," Hawke rushed out, greeting Arianni. "I came as soon as I could. What can I do?"

"Thank you, for everything you've done for my boy," Arianni greeted her, tears in her eyes. "You've done so much for him, he considers you a good friend. Two days ago he entered one of his nightmares, and now they've taken him-" Arianni broke off as a round of sobs racked the elvhen woman's body.

"We will need to send you into the beyond, what you call the fade," the Keeper stepped forward, to further explain to the party what would be required. "We have a ritual which will allow us to send you to Feynriel and help him."

"I have walked the Fade before," Hawke stated bravely. "Send me in."

"I told you her courage was legendary," Arianni whimpered, finally mastering her tears at Hawke brave words. Arianni nodded her silent thanks to Hawke before turning into the house to finish the necessary preperations.

"And who else will you take with you?" the Keeper asked.

"Daisy's a mage," Varric pointed out. "She would be a good choice."

"Merrill has already given into the temptation of a demon Varric," Hawke stated bluntly. "I do not want to worry about her making a deal with another. Anders? You have experience a Harrowing, will you come?"

"Of course, love," Anders readily replied taking her hand in his.

"Varric?" Hawke turned to the dwarf.

"Frolic in dreams," the dwarf said with a shrug. "Why not?"

"You'll never get a chance like this again," Hawke smirked with a wink. "Think of the stories you could tell with this knowledge."

"You know my weakness Hawke," Varric chuckled.

"I do not wish to enter the fade, but if you need me I will go," Fenris grumbled.

"We are ready," Hawke turned back to the Keeper.

"There is one more thing," Marethari declared, with a look of concern. "If Feynriel should fall to temptation you will have to kill him in the beyond. It will make him what you call tranquil."

Anders watched Hawke stiffen, her eyes narrowing just slightly before stating: "I can't do that, that's Feynriel's greatest fear."

"I will trust you will do what is best," Marethari acquiesced before leading the party into Arianni's home. Before she sent them into the fade, the Keeper explained more about Feynriel's abilities as well as the fact that he will gather powerful demons around him. Then she started the ritual and all Anders saw was a familiar white light before he entered the fade.

"This looks like the Gallows," Anders heard Hawke say behind him. "Let's get this over with."

The three men followed Hawke out into a central courtyard where a demon glided along the floor toward the wary quartet.

"I had not thought to feel two forgotten magics in one day," it droned. "I had thought this place would be dull, perhaps I was wrong."

"A demon of sloth," Anders whispered into Hawke's ear in warning. "It will try to make you forget our purpose."

"Call me Torpor," the demon continued. "I would treat with you."

"I will make no deals with demons," Hawke proclaimed.

"Have it your way," Torpor slurred, before two more sloth demons joined his side. The four visitors took care of the demons with great ease.

"The longer we tarry, the more demons will come," Anders explained. "They are drawn to Feynriel and his power as a dreamer."

Hawke glanced around the courtyard they were in and noticed two doors. "Which should we choose?" she asked the group. Fenris pointed to one of the doors, and the companions climbed the stairs to the door he pointed towards. Hawke opened the door and they found a long hallway. Hawke led the way down the hall, proceeding with caution, knowing demons could appear out of the ground at any moment. They reach the end of the hall, and Hawke opened the door only to have a white light engulf the whole group.

When the light faded, First Enchanter Orsino was standing in Hawke's place, and Anders could no longer see his body or those of Varric and Fenris. He watched Hawke proceed into the room, where Keeper Marethari stood with Feynriel. She proclaimed the young elf to be the savior of the Ehlven, and with his wisdom and knowledge the People would rise again. Anders heard Hawke/Orsino speak, convincing Feynriel that he could not be trusted with the power. The elf lad finally realized the folly of the Keeper, and vanished from sight. Suddenly Anders was by Hawke's side again, as they looked at the demon Marethari.

"You, I could have given him power," the demon hissed in anger.

"The boy didn't want power, only his freedom," Hawke pointed out. Then Marethari transformed into a demon of pride.

"Everyone wants power," the demon raved. "Take this slave; do you think he would so easily turn aside power for his freedom?"

"Cast your eyes elsewhere demon," Fenris sneered moving to stand next to Hawke. "I won my freedom from the magisters long ago."

"But you still fear their hold on you, the hold they have from the markings on your skin," the demon purred. "I could give you the power to keep your freedom."

"Don't do it Fenris," Hawke pleaded. "Give in and you are no better than the magisters."

"But to be as an equal…" Fenris trailed off pausing in thought before turning back to Pride. "What would you have me do?"

"Only listen," the demon hummed, watching as Fenris turned on those he called allies. Anders understood the strength Fenris wielded, but he first turned to attack Hawke, it gave the blonde mage a chance to freeze the strong warrior in his step. Sadly, the nimble warrior had already hit Hawke, and she staggered back a large gash running from her shoulder down to the opposite hip. The demon trundled towards Hawke as well, but with a flick of her wrist froze him in place too. Varric shot off bolts from Bianca, trying to hurt Fenris as much as possible before he could move again. Anders could tell Hawke was in pain from her injury but began summoning a firestorm over the two opponents to get rid of them as soon as possible.

Anders cast a fireball, centered between the two followed quickly by lightning which arc between the two. Fenris was just starting to move when he cracked into a cloud of gray smoke and disappeared. The pride demon howled when its second minion was taken away but she too was soon dispatched. Anders hurried to Hawke side, and healed the wound on her chest, thankful it wouldn't exist in real life.

"He always lectures us," Hawke scoffed, when Anders had completed his task.

"Never thought I'd see the day," Varric observed, agreeing with Hawke in her assessment of the warrior elf who had just betrayed them all. "Let's find the boy. This place is making my chest hair itch."

"Don't tell us that," Hawke admonished in a whining tone before setting out from the courtyard they were standing in. The trio headed out to the courtyard and discovered a rage demon which the companions were able to take out swiftly before heading to the door they had previously left unopened.

After she opened the door, Anders and Varric disappeared again while Hawke turned into Feynriel's mother, Arianni. This time the room only had two people in it, the man Anders recognized as Vincento, the father who abandoned Feynriel and his mother. There was also a young boy, whom Anders realized what a very young Feynriel. The Vincento demon appeared to be teaching the lad his letters. Hawke/Arianni had to convince Feynriel Vincento never wanted anything to do with his son. There was little convincing on her part before the demon lost its temper.

"Don't question," it began before turning into a desire demon right in front of the young boy Feynriel. "Me." Feynriel ran off screaming before disappearing.

"You, you turned him against me," the desire demon turned to Hawke as Anders and Varric appeared beside her.

"Complete accident, I was trying to help," Hawke smirked, lying without regard for the demon.

"Take away one of my pets, and I'll take away one of yours," the demon purred. "Just how well do you know the man who shares your bed at night?"

"I am not so easily swayed demon," Anders countered, stepping in front of Hawke.

"Are you not?" the desire demon gushed. "I see you are filled with so many desires. You desire to be free and no longer hunted, the desire to be free from the taint, the desire to free your fellow mages, and the desire to rid the world of all templars. But most importantly you desire to keep your love safe from harm."

_Yes, I desire these things, to never have to worry about being hunted, never have her hunted just for being born with magic._

"Anders…" Hawke pleaded with him, tears filling her cerulean depths.

"I can help you with all this and more," the demon promised, humming at its victory.

"I'm doing this for you, love," Anders spoke softly, trying to make her understand.

Suddenly Anders was under attack from both Varric and Hawke. He couldn't believe she would be so selfish, to deny so many mages freedom, a freedom she had her whole life because she had family willing to protect her from the horrors of the circle. Anders cast a glyph of paralysis under Hawke, trying to freeze her in place but her anger at this betrayal was too great and all it did was slow her movements slightly as she moved out of the range of the glyph, flicking her write to freeze him in place. Varric concentrated on the desire demon as she tried to bolster Anders' power but soon had to dodge multiple attacks.

"A little help here, Hawke," Varric bellowed, dodging the attacks made on him by shades the desire demon had summoned to aid her battle. Hawke turned to the dwarf and cast a protective bubble around him, giving him a chance to fight back without getting hurt in the process. Then she cast a firestorm, filling the whole room with fireballs. The desire demon, taking most of the attacks thus far, fell screaming her rage at her defeat. With the aid of her firestorm, Varric made quick work of the shades, leaving just Anders still frozen in place. Hawke looked at her love, tears streaming down her cheeks, and Anders resolve began to crack realizing his blunder just as she turned to the dwarf.

"Do it Varric," she whispered, pain and agony in every word. "I cannot."

Without a further word, the dwarf hefted Bianca taking aim at the blonde mage still frozen in place and shattered him with a resounding crack. Anders only saw gray smoke, changing quickly into a blinding white light and suddenly he was back in Arianni's house. Anders sat up with a gasp, the light blinding his eyes for just a moment. He felt a ghost pain in his chest where Varric had shot him to end his betrayal; Anders rubbed that spot now with a grimace. He heard a snort behind him, and turning slightly he noticed Fenris crouched not far away a sneer on his lips.

"Just like every mage," Fenris mumbled watching the sleeping forms of Varric and Hawke.

"Oh yes, you're one to lecture me on taking deals," Anders barked out, turning to Hawke next to him on the floor. He looked at her face and guilt twisted in his gut when he noticed tears leaking from the outside corners of her eyes. Tears he had caused. He tried to take her hand, to comfort her, but even trapped in the fade she would not be placated by him. He gave up trying to ease her pain, and sat waiting. Waiting for her to reawaken so he could beg for her forgiveness.

It was several minutes before Varric and Hawke stirred, waking at the same time. Anders tried to assist his Mari, but she brushed off his assistance and she stood to address the Keeper and Arianni.

"Feynriel has mastered his powers," she declared.

"Ma serranas," Marethari praised her smile lighting up her slim elven features. "We owe you a debt of gratitude."

Arianni requested to return to the Dalish camp, so she could see her son but Hawke explained Feynriel would be leaving to study in Tevinter since no one in Kirkwall could teach him what he needed to know. The four companions left Arianni's house soon after they gave a full recounting of events. Hawke paused before the steps of the Alienage.

"Mari, love, I'm sor-" Anders began before Hawke turned quickly, raising her hand to silence him. He noticed his words had caused anger and fresh tears to spring into her blue-green eyes but she refused to let them fall in front of him. Hawke transferred her gaze to Varric and gave the dwarf a curt nod; the dwarf nodded back in silent agreement, and blocked the path of the mage and warrior as Hawke ran up the stairs and out of the alienage.

"Varric, let me pass," Anders demanded.

"Fenris, you fucked up," Varric started, using their real names which meant they were on Varric's nug-shit list. "Anders, you fucked up even more. She needs space, let her have it."

Anders waited impatiently until Varric let them leave. He headed home, guilt eating away at his insides, to wait for his love to return, hoping she would forgive him.

* * *

A/N: I wanted to change up Night Terrors a bit, since without Justice, Anders is just as likely to betray Hawke as any other party member. I hope you enjoy my twist, and please feel free to review. :-)


	26. Terrors in the Night

A/N: Sorry folks it's taken me so long to get this update out. I'm a first time mother, and my unborn baby girl has been very wiggly lately. Making it hard to sit in front of my computer and write stuff down. Apparently she doesn't like to feel like she's being squished, who knew? So again apologies for taking so long, and I hope it will be worth the wait.

* * *

Anders hadn't seen Hawke in three days. She hadn't come home when he was around, and Varric and Isabela were keeping her whereabouts a secret, though he could tell the two rogues knew. He was frustrated, he wanted so badly to apologize to her and he couldn't. He wasn't even sleeping well at night; his actions in the fade followed him even in his nightmares.

_I deserve it, _he thought to himself as he paced their bedroom raking his hand through his loose blonde locks._ I betrayed her trust, trying to help the greater good. How is attacking the one I love going to protect her? I was a fool but I cannot find her. I will have to wait for her to return. I can't believe that demon got to me, I should know better. _ Anders scoffed at his own stupidity and flung himself on the bed. It was late, close to the middle of the night, but sleep evaded the healer. Leandra had stayed up later and later each night hoping her daughter would return. She was even more worried than Anders, since she didn't understand why her daughter was staying away so long.

Anders heard a loud thump from the front door of the estate, but he didn't move from the bed. He heard the hurried clapping of Leandra's heels across the tiled foyer heading from the library to the door. She had personally been answering the door the last few days, propriety and Bodahn aside, hoping it is her daughter knocking.

"Anders, help!" Leandra panicked cry resounded through the house. "Marianna's hurt."

Anders bolted from the bed, and took the stairs down to the foyer two at a time. Leandra was bent over Hawke's body frantically calling for her daughter to open her eyes. Mari was covered in bruises, stab wounds, and arrows. She also smelled like a brewery, and was wearing the same clothes from three days ago. Anders quickly glanced out the door to see who could have attacked Hawke in the middle of the night and he noticed two female rogues carefully walking their way across the courtyard, their blades drawn heading towards the open doorway of the Amell estate. Anders heard Hawke's mother gasp when she followed his gaze out into the night.

"Leandra, when I move Mari, you have to lock and bar the door," Anders quickly advised. Leandra nodded, and Anders pulled Hawke into the entryway to clear the door. Leandra slammed it closed, locking and then throwing the bar to prevent further entry. Without fear of impending attack, Anders bent over Hawke and began examining her, trying to find out why she was unconscious.

"Who were those women?" Leandra whispered, kneeling next to Anders ready to help him should he ask.

"I would guess the Silent Sisters, the current Hightown gang," Anders answered. "Leandra, I need you to get me some water, fresh towels, washcloths, and bandages. I'm going to carry Mari to our room." Leandra hurried off to follow Anders instructions, and Anders carefully pick up Hawke, and carried her battered body to their room. As he carried her, he noticed a purple lump forming near one of her temples as if she had been struck by the hilt of a blade. That would explain why she was unconscious, she probably had a concussion.

He carefully placed Hawke on the bed, and tried to relieve some of the swelling on her temple, while he was healing her, Leandra bustled into the room carrying a bowl of water, the towels, washcloths, as well as Anders' medical bag from the clinic. Anders held a cold spell in his hand and flicked his finger into the bowl of water creating several lumps of ice.

"Leandra, take the ice I just created, and put it in a damp washcloth, and place it over the purple bruise on her temple. That will help contain the swelling in her temple while I heal the rest of her body." He rummaged through his bag and pulled out a thin vial. "Try to get her to drink this, slowly. It's a sleeping draught and will make sure she doesn't wake up suddenly while we're working."

Anders began working methodically; first he took care of the arrows, as they posed the most danger currently. She had one arrow in her thigh, one in her shoulder, and two in her abdomen. Due to the placement of each arrow, he was going to have to cut them out; he couldn't push the arrows through. He reached into Hawke belt and found her hidden dagger. He began cutting her robes away from her body, with extra caution around the arrows. Once he was sure the sleeping draught had taken effect, he muttered a quick apology to his love and then began cutting her thigh muscle open to remove the arrow. Hawke groaned in pain and Leandra had to hold her daughter down to keep her still. As soon as he had the arrow free, he healed the area and repeated this process for the next three arrows. The rest of Hawke's injuries were fairly minor in comparison and in very little time Anders had her as healed as he could. He grabbed another cloth and wetting it from the bowl began cleaning the blood from Hawke's unconscious form.

"I've done as much as I can," Anders informed Leandra. "With the concussion all we can do is wait and hope. I'll keep an eye on her. Why do you go get some sleep?"

Leandra gave Anders a watery smile of thanks before leaving their bedroom, heading towards her own. Anders carefully took off Hawke's breastband and smalls, since they were covered in blood, and slipped her into new smalls and a sleep shirt before pulling the covers over her unconscious form. He pulled one of the chairs from in front of the fire close to the bed, and taking her hand watched her sleep until he too drifted off into the fade.

* * *

Anders woke up, still holding Hawke's hand but it looked as if she hadn't moved the whole night. He checked her vitals and relief flooding through him when he heart beat was still strong.

"Come back to me love," Anders whispered to her sleeping form.

"Anders…" Mari moaned out in her sleep.

"I'm here, love."

"Why…" she asked listlessly, still asleep.

"Maker I don't know," Anders spoke honestly, knowing she really couldn't hear his answer. "I should know better being a mage, but she said she could help me take care of you, protect you. And then when you attacked me, I just got so angry. I thought you were taking that chance away from me, trying to keep me at arms length. The demon twisted my desires and turned me against the one person I love more than anything in Thedas. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if only you would wake up. Please Mari my love come back to me. Wake up."

Mari finally shifted in her sleep, and Anders allowed his hand to drop away from hers. He stood from the chair, and stretched the sore muscles away from sleeping in the chair for several hours. He heard a soft knock, and Leandra opened the door slowly before coming in followed closely by Orana carrying a tray laden with food and tea.

"How is she?" Leandra asked, hustling over to her daughter's still sleeping form.

"She hasn't woken up yet, her brain is still damaged from swelling but I think she'll pull through she just needs rest and time," Anders explained stepping back to let Leandra take his place in the armchair. "This is a lot of food Leandra."

"Yes, well, I haven't eaten yet," Leandra explained with a small flustered smile. "And a part of me was hoping Marianna would be awake so I had Orana prepare enough for the three of us."

Anders chuckled lightly as he got tea ready for himself and Hawke's mother. She smiled gratefully at him as she accepted the cup and returned her focus to her daughter. A sudden idea occurred to Anders, and before he could think about how her mother would react, he asked the question.

"Leandra, I was wondering if I could get your blessing to ask for Mari's hand," he blurted out, not daring to look at his love's mother for fear of being rejected.

"Anders," Leandra gasped, setting her teacup on the bedside table and taking his hands, "Do you mean it? You want to marry my daughter?"

"I do," he admitted, meeting the woman's soft gaze feeling a little surprised at the smile that lit up her features. "She means the world to me, and though I'm not sure who would actually marry us since I'm a known apostate, I would still like to try, even if it's just a private ceremony here."

"Oh Anders," Leandra gushed, enveloping the mage in a hug. "I have been waiting for you to ask me this since I first met you. I knew how you felt for my daughter and I would be more than happy to have you join out family. When do you plan on asking her?"

Anders chuckled nervously before answering: "I actually haven't even thought about any of that, the idea just came to me a moment ago and I blurted it out."

"Swept away in worry and passion just like my Malcolm," Leandra chuckled, her eyes glittering with happiness and unshed tears. "Wait here," she instructed before bustling out of the room. She came back a few moments later, clutching her hands to her chest protectively. She glanced into her hands before showing him the ring. "This was the ring Malcolm gave me when we were wed, I know it's not much but it's a ring that represents an eternal love that still exists today. I would like you to have it," she finished placing the ring in Anders palm.

"I think its perfect Leandra," Anders gulped back the tears he felt pricking his eyes at Leandra's heartfelt acceptance as he moved to his wardrobe to hide the wedding band amongst his belongings. "Now I just have to get her to forgive me before I can ask for her hand."

"Why do you need her forgiveness?" Leandra queried, getting a plate of food ready to break her morning fast.

"I did something idiotic on a mission," Anders explained. "It's why she hasn't been here the last few days, she was extremely upset."

"It'll blow over, she's always been a very passionate person," Leandra promised, sitting down in the armchair near her daughter. "Slow to anger, but it burns white hot for a short time before it is forgotten and she moves on. I know she'll forgive you."

"I hope you are right," Anders muttered, getting his own plate and tea ready.

"If you need to go to the clinic today, I can stay and watch Marianna," Leandra told Anders. "I had Bodahn send out messages to the rest of her friends so they know what's going on. I'm sure many of them will show up today at some point to see how she's doing. If anything changes we'll let you know."

Anders nodded in gratitude before finishing his food, and making his way out into the mid-morning Hightown traffic.

* * *

It had been a stressful and disappointing day for Anders, he kept expecting to receive a message that his love was awake and she wanted to see him. His heart sank when he entered the bedroom to see Hawke, sitting up, awake, and laughing with Isabela on the bed next to her. The conversation ceased as soon as Anders entered the room, and the two black-haired ladies watched him as he moved to Hawke's side.

"How are you feeling?" Anders asked, trying to catch her gaze.

"I'm fine," was her curt reply, looking up at him with very guarded eyes.

"When did you wake up?"

"Shortly after high sun."

"Why didn't anyone come tell me? I've been worried sick about you all day!" Anders cried out in exacerbation.

"Maybe because she didn't want you here," Isabela supplied quietly.

"Please Mari, I know I screwed up. I'll do whatever you want to make it up to you," Anders pleaded with Hawke, taking her reluctant hands in his. "Just give me a chance to apologize."

"You could at least listen to him sweetness," Isabela prompted, elbowing her friend softly in the side. "You already forgave Broody."

"You already forgave Fenris?" Anders shouted. "And you won't even look at me?"

"Fenris is not a mage," Hawke began softly, but each declaration became louder with her anger. "Fenris does not live with me. Fenris does not claim to love me. Fenris is not tempted on a daily basis by demons in his sleep. Fenris didn't know any better."

Isabela for once, kept her mouth shut, but she was smiling in understanding at her mage friend.

"I know," Anders whispered in defeat, kneeling on the floor at her side.

"Isabela, can you give us a moment?" Hawke asked turning to meet the golden gaze of her close friend.

"Only if you share all the dirty details later," the pirated purred getting up from the bed and sauntering out of the room closing the door behind her. Anders stared at the closed door a bit confused at the pirates last statement, Hawke's next words broke him out of his reverie.

"What if I don't want to forgive you…" Hawke began, and pain crushed Anders heart.

"Let me try to make it up to you, somehow," Anders begged, reaching for her hand. "I'll do whatever you want."

"Yet?" Hawke finally finished her question causing Anders to look at her in confusion.

"What if I don't want to forgive you yet?" Hawke asked a devious twinkle in her eyes. "I hear make-up sex is amazing."

Anders gulped as desire flooded through his body as her words sank in. He looked up at Hawke, and she bent over kissing him, her passion only fueling the fire raging in his body. He surged up from the floor, not breaking their kiss as he joined her on the bed. He pressed his throbbing erection against her core, and was surprised with how wet she was already. He broke the kiss to look at her.

"How long have you been planning this?" he asked, reaching down to take off his boots.

"I meant for it to happen last night," she admitted with a little giggle, the devilish look still on her face. "But then I got attacked and you know how that ended."

"I take it Isabela was in on it?" Anders chuckled as he continued to remove his clothing.

"She may have been the one to give me the idea," she grinned, kneeling on the bed to assist in his clothing removal.

"I don't know whether to be angry or thankful for your friendship with her. I think she's turned you into quite the little minx."

"I was like this already," she purred, kissing his chest and making him tremble under her hot mouth. "You just bring it out in me."

"I'm going to take that as a good thing," Anders murmured huskily as her mouth traveled south to his breeches.

"It's a very good thing," she hummed, as she undid the ties of his pants with her teeth.

The rest of the evening, Anders worshipped the mage who had entered into his life and changed him inexplicably. His warden stamina being an advantage as they made love the rest of the night, only breaking once when Orana brought them dinner from Isabela's departing instructions.


	27. Typical Evening

A/N: This is just a little filler while I continue to work on my real chapter. I wanted to throw in a little more "fun" between Hawke and Anders and I thought this would be a good way to show what they might do at night when they're not out on jobs. I hope my next chapter will be up soon, and will hopefully make all the Anders fangirls go: Squee!

I also want to give a shout-out to anesor, Pintsizedpsyhco, Kyla Baines, and Apollo Wings, you're continued comments and support make me want to continue writing this monster. Thanks again, and I hope you continue to enjoy my work.

* * *

Anders was sitting in the study writing more to his manifesto when he heard the front door open and knew Mari was home.

"Ah, you've returned," Bodahn greeted her in the foyer. "And how was your day Messere?"

"One of the most entertaining I've had for awhile," Anders heard Hawke chuckle. "I can tell you about it tomorrow if you would like to hear the tale, but it's late. I'm surprised you're still up actually."

"As you say," Bodahn replied and Anders could hear the bow when he said it. "You mother has retired for the evening, and Master Anders is in the study."

"Thank you Bodahn. Good night."

"Goodnight, my lady."

Anders continued to write the manifesto, and was concentrating on finishing his thought so he didn't hear Hawke come into the study. He felt her soft hands move his loose blonde hair before her full lips began planting kisses along the back of his neck. Anders felt a shiver run down his spine at the sudden attention and warmth running through his body.

"Are you almost done?" Hawke whispered throatily behind him, before she gently bit the shell of his ear causing him to moan.

"It'll take longer if you keep doing that," Anders husky voice confirmed.

"Do I distract you?" Mari purred, beginning to run her small hand down his chest as she kissed the hollow under his ear.

"Always," Anders chuckled. "But if you give me five minutes, I'll be all yours."

"Oh that's not what a girl wants to hear," Mari pouted. "I suppose I can do that, I need a bath anyway. I'll be thinking of you."

Anders groaned with her parting words, knowing if he wasn't fast enough he would miss out on a chance to bathe with her. He poured back over the paragraph he was working on to try and continue the thoughts of his now sexually fogged mind. He scratched out a few thoughts knowing it to be a lost cause, and blew out the candles before running upstairs to join Mari in the tub. She grinned wickedly at him as he started removing his clothes to join her in the bath.

"Too distracted?" she purred, trying to look innocent.

"The love of my life tells me she's going to be naked, wet, and thinking of me," Anders pondered out loud. "What do you think?"

She giggled as he slid into the hot water, her ability to distract him obvious in his hardened member. Anders pulled Mari into him right away, before getting used to the heat of the water. She straddled him, her hot core pressed against his erection, making him groan at the contact before he kissed her with all the passion she created. Her velvet tongue caressed his bottom lip, and he eagerly opened his mouth to her initiative. She deepened their kiss, as his hands pulled her closer to him, her breasts pressed into his chest. She rocked her hips against his hardened cock, building the tension between them both as she continued the action. He broke the heated kiss, and fisted one of his hands in her wet hair, gently pulling her head back exposing her pale neck to his lips and tongue.

She panted his name as he lavished her breasts with his mouth. He let loose a jolt of electricity through his fingers into her body which caused her to dig her fingers into his shoulders as she moaned. Letting go of her wet hair, his hand plunged under the water to dive a finger into her hot core. One finger quickly became two and she keened as his fingers set steady rhythm to bring her to climax. Unable to use the electricity in water, he crushed her lips under his own again, inviting a deeper kiss. Anders could tell she was close to completion so he sent a charge through his tongue into her mouth and through his fingers on her breast, causing her to break the kiss and scream his name as Mari's climax ripped through her. As her quaking muscles relaxed, she dropped her head onto his shoulder and gave him a kiss in the hollow of his neck.

"You should really teach me that sometime," Hawke's sultry voice chuckled.

"I would be happy to be a willing test subject," Anders quipped, pulling his fingers out of her and running his hands up and down her back. "Most mages use heat, cold, or electricity. You did use heat on me when you gave me that massage. It's the same premise."

"I see," she hummed, as her suddenly cold hand ran down his chest and wrapped around his still stiff erection. "How's this?"

Anders could only moan and nod in reply as she worked him with one cold hand still in the hot water. The difference between the two temperatures had him involuntarily bucking at her touch. She shimmied back on his legs and put her other hand to caress and tug his balls while she worked him. Feeling his own release building due to her clever ministrations, he pulled her hands away, and lifted her hips to impale her with his length. They both moaned at the completion they felt when joined in this intimate manner.

Mari repositioned her legs, and Anders grasped her hips as she set the pace. The two mages ignored the cooling water, as the heat they created between them continued to build. Anders knew his own release would happen soon, so he reached in between their bodies, and began stroking her pearl in time to their thrusts. Mari reached down to replace his hand with her own, signaling to Anders to take over the pace being set. He grabbed her hips and began thrusting into her core, moans and shivers running through her body as her nerves danced with the increasing sensation. He felt her muscles tighten around him as she moaned his name and shattered in his arms. A few more thrusts and he joined her spilling his seed into her.

Hawke pushed up slowly, pulling Anders from her core, before she turned around and snuggled into his lap. She cast a low power fire spell into the bath and heated the water again, relaxing them both. Anders wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"So what's this I hear about you telling Bodahn tonight was one of your more entertaining evenings?" Anders queried, sighing as she leaned her head against his own. "Weren't you meeting Aveline at the Hanged Man?"

"Yes," she giggled. "She has a crush on a guardsman named Donnic. After a lot of embarrassment this afternoon, we were supposed to meet him for drinks at the Hanged Man. Aveline chickened out, and now Donnic thinks I like him."

"Wait, wait, Aveline chickened out," Anders chuckled lightly. "I have a hard time imagining that, I wish I had been there to see it. Why does he think you like him?"

"Since Aveline never showed, it was just him and I carrying on an _extremely_ awkward conversation since we don't know each other. If I didn't feel so bad for Aveline, I might have been angry with her but she's border line hopeless. Tomorrow night she's arranging a patrol just her and Donnic along the Wounded Coast. I'm supposed to clear out the trouble ahead of her so she can talk to him during the patrol instead. Want to come and see if it turns into a disaster?"

"I wouldn't miss it," Anders laughed which quickly turned into a yawn. He gave her a squeeze before letting go so she could stand and they could go to bed. They dried off from the bath, and made their way to bed, snuggling up next to each other as they drifted off into the fade.


	28. A Question for Their Future, Part 1

The Amell estate was in an uproar. Tonight was the night of the Viscount's First Day Ball and Mari and Leandra were frantic with not being ready in time. Anders sat in the study, his own nerves at play for what he would be doing later but the sight of Hawke and her mother rushing around the house with Orana and the extra housemaid they hired for the night on their heels was too amusing not to spare a chuckle or two. Varric was in the study with him, he had been invited to the Ball as well since he was the only sane member of the Tethras family.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready Blondie?" Varric asked, swirling the brandy in his glass before taking a sip. The dwarf looked even more impeccably dressed, if that was even possible. He was completely clean shaven, none of his normal stubble evident on his square jaw. His normal jewelry had been replaced by high quality gold with diamonds glinting along the hoops in his ears and the pendant at his neck. He wore a white tunic with gold embroidery that still managed to show off a substantial portion of his chest and chest hair. Over the tunic was a black silk coat and breeches with black boots that shone in the fire of the study. Varric was always an impeccably dressed dwarf, but tonight he had stepped it up a notch and cut a very dashing figure.

"Once the women actually disappear into their respective rooms, yes," Anders chuckled as the two men watched the commotion outside the study.

"What has them in such a state?"

"Bodahn and Sandal haven't returned with their dresses yet. Oh, never mind, there they are now."

As if on cue from Anders' words, Bodahn and Sandal rushed into the foyer with two very large boxes in hand. Orana and the other house elf, Solara, retrieved the boxes from the dwarves and brought them into their respective ladies' rooms. Anders wasn't allowed to get ready in the room he shared with Mari because of all the time she needed, so he had been relegated to one of the guest rooms for the night. Anders entered the guest room and set about getting ready for the evening.

He had taken a bath earlier but still had to shave so he did that task quickly before getting ready. After shaving, he just needed to get into the clothes Leandra had helped him pick out. Once out of his normal robes, be pulled on the black silk breeches with gold and red embroidery. Then there was a crimson tunic with gold and white needlework then a black silk coat also with gold and red stitching. Once the coat was in place, he had a crimson sash to tie around his waist. He replaced his normal gold hoop with a ruby stud Leandra had ordered for the occasion. His normal blonde hair was loose from its leather tie but slicked back to keep it from his face. He pulled on the shiny black leather boots before tying them and then inspected his reflection in the full length mirror in the room. He marveled at the embroidery and how it made it look like he had tiny flames licking up his legs and arms without the use of magic. Leandra had good taste and he marveled at the clothing she had picked out for him.

Stepping out into the hallway, he could tell by the quiet pervading the mansion that the women of the house were not ready yet. He returned to the study, where Varric was no doubt still waiting. The dwarf's eyes widened slightly when they saw Anders step into the doorway.

"I'll be a nug's uncle," Varric mumbled. "You clean up rather well Blondie."

"Rather well? Come on Varric, I look _good._"

"For a human I suppose. You're no dwarf after all," Varric shrugged and they both chuckled as Anders returned to his seat next to the rogue. The two chatted amicably while they sipped brandy and waited for the women to finish getting ready. Leandra was the first to emerge; she wore a black brocade silk dress with scarlet piping and white lace and silver embroidery. Her dress, though well made, gave a matronly impression, never revealing too much skin, but showing her figure as well. Her peppered hair was curled with the sides pulled back so it all cascaded down her back like a waterfall.

"I knew that suit was a good choice for you," Leandra gushed upon seeing Anders.

"You have good taste," Anders confirmed, winking at her.

"Solara, please go see if my daughter and Orana need any extra help," Leandra turned to the extra hand for the evening. "If she takes too much longer, we'll arrive too late for dinner and we'll be the talk of the season." The elf scampered back up the stairs to the main bedroom, where Hawke and Orana were getting his love ready.

"Leandra, I think we are already the talk of the nobility," Anders joked.

"Why?" Leandra scoffed. "Because you live here? There are worse things for them to talk about I suppose, but I still hate to be late."

"Hopefully tonight I'll give them just one more reason to talk about this family," Anders hinted to Leandra.

"You mean?" Leandra turned to him, her radiant smile lighting up the whole room. "Tonight?"

Anders only nodded, while Varric leaned forward in his chair. "Tonight what?" the dwarf asked.

"Come on Varric," Anders chided. "You don't want me to ruin the story."

"Fine, fine," the rogue grumbled, finished off his glass before setting it down. "This had better be good."

"Have I ever let you down?" Anders joked, the nerves steeling back into his gut.

"Twice," Varric told truthfully. "But who's counting. Though the last time you planned something it got you the girl so I'll just wait and see."

"Mistress," Orana interrupted coming into the study and speaking to Leandra. "Your daughter is nervous and would like a word with you."

Leandra popped the cheese in her mouth before turning to the men in the study with her: "Wait for us in the foyer," she smiled, a gleam in her eyes before following the servant up the stairs to her daughter's room.

Anders finished off the last of his brandy in one gulp, and walked out to the fireplace in the foyer. Varric had followed close behind him, and Anders thought the sight of the dwarf without his trusty crossbow was a strange sight. The two gentlemen began talking again when suddenly Varric stopped mid-sentence and stared up at the balcony above them. Anders followed the dwarf's gaze and his breath stopped as he laid eyes on Mari. He had always found her beautiful but at this moment, dressed for the ball, she was breathtaking.

She had visited Xenon to speed along the process of growing out her hair. Her bangs had grown out and were gathered across her forehead on one side, secured with a ruby hairpin, her silky, black tresses were piled up on the top of her head, with rubies worked into the curls that flashed red when she moved her head. There were a few stray curls near her ears and at the nape of her neck. Her aquamarine eyes stood out due to the charcoal shadow around them. Her normally berry lips were painted a delicious looking red that matched the rubies glinting in her hair. Her dresses was sleeveless with a heart-shaped bodice of brocade silk in golden yellow and as you travel down to her waist changed from orange to red to a deep burgundy with the very edge of her skirt hem a deep navy blue. The entire dress was worked with heavy gold embroidery that shimmered when she moved, making her look as if she were a single flame. She was his bright light in Kirkwall, and now the whole of the nobility would get a peek at her splendor.

Anders moved to intercept her at the base of the stairs, and offered his love his arm. She flushed at the gesture, and accepted, gently placing her small hand on his forearm as she stepped down the final step. The two mages made their way to the entryway while Leandra gave final instructions for the staff to not wait for their return since it would be late, and they need not tire themselves. Anders grabbed Hawke's fur-lined cloak and draped it over her shoulders to protect her from the cold outside she clasped it closed, but did not pull up the hood for fear of ruining her hair before they arrived at the ball. He also assisted Leandra with her cloak before donning his own. The quartet stepped out into the cold dusk, and made the short walk up the stairs to the Viscount's Keep.

For all Leandra's fretting about being late, the queue to announce their arrival had not diminished and Mistress Amell did not need to fear being scandalized with a late arrival. Leandra and Varric stood in line behind Anders and Hawke, since it was customary for the scion of a family to enter before other members of the family. They chatted in line until it was their turn to be introduced to the viscount and his retinue.

"Marianna Hawke, scion of House Amell escorted by Anders, Commander of the Gray in the Free Marches," the herald announced as Anders and Mari passed through the door into the banquet hall. Viscount Dumar welcomed them warmly, introduced them to his son Seamus, whom they had already met.

They found their seats at the banquet, and waited for Varric and Leandra to join them at the long table. The rest of dinner was agony for Anders, the small talk alone was enough to condemn him to eternal agony, only Leandra's abilities kept the majority of the snide comments to a minimum on his part. On top of the small talk, the portions served with their five course meal left little to be desired with his warden appetite. Thankfully, Mari noticed and would sneak him portions she wouldn't be able to finish. The meal was finally over, and the nobles began to make their way into the ballroom where they would spend the rest of the evening dancing, drinking, and socializing.

Anders snagged a couple of glass of champagne from a server as he passed, handing one off to his love as they made their way into the ballroom. They milled around with the other nobility, waiting for the viscount to choose his dance partner for the opening dance. The viscount approached Hawke, and asked her for the pleasure of the first dance. The nobility buzzed with speculation at Mari's shocked face, but she graciously accepted and Dumar led her out to the dance floor. Anders wasn't surprised the viscount chose Hawke to dance with him; she had already done more for this city in the three to four years she had lived here than more of the nobility did their entire lives.

When the minstrels began playing, Anders marveled at the grace which Hawke moved while dancing with Dumar around the dance floor. He couldn't wait until he could dance with her, knowing the two would move with such synchronicity because they were lovers. Now that she was dancing, he dress looked even more like dancing flame, the movement of the skirt, and the candlelight catching the embroidery made her look like she was on fire. Anders couldn't keep his eyes off her, until Varric came up and elbowed him.

"Did you see Broody?" Varric asked him before taking a deep pull of his ale.

"Can't say I have," Anders replied absentmindedly. "Why is he here?"

"Apparently he was hired to be the bodyguard of some foreign noble who was invited to the party. His name was Duke Prosper de Montfort."

"Sounds Orlesian," Anders snorted.

"Good call, he is," Varric chuckled, finally following Anders gaze to Hawke on the dance floor. "I hope you realize what a lucky man you are Blondie, ever man here envy's you."

"Even you Varric?"

"Just don't tell Hawke," Varric chortled before taking another draw on his drink.

The dance with the Viscount ended, and soon Mari got swept up in the arms of Seamus. Anders tried to bite back the jealousy that burrowed into his gut, he knew this was all part of tradition, but he couldn't help fight the feelings. He noticed the viscount gliding his direction and stopped next to Anders while continuing to watch his son with Hawke.

"You're a lucky man, Commander," Dumar addressed him. "Nervous?"

"I would be lying if I said no," Anders laughed quietly.

"Why should you be nervous?" Varric chimed in from Anders other side.

"Remember earlier? You don't want to ruin the story," Anders admonished, a huge grin on his face.

"So you can tell Leandra, but not me?" Varric tried to look hurt.

"It'll be better if I don't, I promise," Anders chuckled.

"Since you do not want your friend to know the details, perhaps you should follow me," the Viscount replied, moving in the direction of the minstrels. Anders followed him, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from Mari still dancing in Seamus' arms. The viscount and the head of the minstrels finished making plans with Anders. In about 15 minutes they would take their first break, and the viscount was supposed to dance one more solo dance with Mari, but Anders would cut in and as the song ended, it would be his time.

"This will cause quite the stir," Dumar warned. "Some members of the nobility may try to stop you from cutting in if that occurs I'll bring her to you. There hasn't been anything like this tried before, so it'll definitely be a night to remember for everyone. We can talk more tonight."

The viscount clapped Anders on the shoulder before giving him a little squeeze, and then moved to converse with more of the nobility. Anders stood near the band of bards, nervousness wracking through him. He wanted a drink but would wait until after his dance. He made his way back toward the loose ring of nobles. He noticed there were more nobles dancing, so Mari and Seamus must have completed their dance. Anders looked for Mari, but found her dancing with a strange looking noble in very tight pants and puffy sleeves making him look top-heavy. Anders watched as noble after noble danced with his love. She was the only noble woman to not sit out for any of the dances. Many dances later, Dumar brushed up against Anders giving him a heart-warming smile before moving out to dance with Mari.

Anders took a few deep breaths to try and calm his nerves as the nobles cleared the floor so their host could dance with his chosen partner. Anders waited for the slight nod from Dumar before he stepped onto the dance floor to a collective gasp from the nobility. He heard Leandra gasp out his name in horror as he tapped the viscount on his shoulder.

"May I cut in?" Anders asked, boldly. "I am her escort, and haven't had the pleasure of a dance."

"Of course Commander," Dumar replied smoothly, a knowing twinkle in his eyes. He stepped back to let Anders step in, and sweep Hawke away with the music.

"Everyone looks properly scandalized," his love quipped, glancing around quickly. "You do like to stand out."

"Only with you love," Anders smirked, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Where did you learn to dance?" Hawke finally queried as she marveled at how he led her around the floor.

"The circle would occasionally have dances during festivals," Anders commented, a touch of bitterness in his voice. "It was their efforts to make it seem normal to be locked within stone walls. And what about you?"

"What about me?" she smirked.

"You sing, you dance, you fight like a demon," he recited before leaning in close and whispering: "And you're an absolute minx in bed."

"Anders!" Hawke gasped, giving him a coquettish smile.

"I only speak the truth," Anders replied, listening as the song began to die down. "Which is why I have a question for you."

"Really? And what do you need to ask me?"

Anders released Mari as the last notes of the song echoed through the ballroom and knelt down on one knee taking one of her small hands in both of his. Hawke gasped and brought her other hand up to her mouth in surprised. Anders could hear murmurs and gasping echoing throughout the ballroom at Anders' gesture and they waited in stunned silence.

"Marianna, you have brought so much meaning to my life. From the first moment when you saved me, my heart has been yours. I never thought to find someone who could bring so much joy into my life. You accepted me without question and opened your heart to me as well. I hope if you will accept me I can bring just as much joy into your life. I never had a true home until I met you, and now I can't imagine living without you by my side the rest of my days. Mari, love of my life, will you marry me?"

"Anders…"

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A/N: Don't hate me too much, mwahahaha. Find out her answer next time! :-D


	29. A Question for Their Future, Part 2

A/N: Sorry my avid readers, my muse seems to have gone on vacation with the change in North Dakota weather. Apologies for the late update, I had to push through the story and hopefully my muse will come back soon to enlighten me once again. This may be a bit rough, but I still hope you enjoy.

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Anders released Mari as the last notes of the song echoed through the ballroom and knelt down on one knee taking one of her small hands in both of his. Hawke gasped and brought her other hand up to her mouth in surprised. Anders could hear murmurs and gasping echoing throughout the ballroom at Anders' gesture and they waited in stunned silence.

"Marianna, you have brought so much meaning to my life. From the first moment when you save me, my heart has been yours. I never thought to find someone who could bring so much joy into my life. You accepted me without question and opened your heart to me as well. I hope if you will accept me I can bring just as much joy into your life. I never had a true home until I met you, and now I can't imagine living without you by my side the rest of my days. Mari, love of my life, will you marry me?"

"Anders…"

"You can't be seriously considering this," Anders heard a noble sneer, stepping out of the ring surrounding them. "He's a mage."

"As was her father," Leandra replied, coming to step up next to her daughter. "Really Guillaume you should know better."

"The chantry will never allow such a marriage to take place," another noble retorted, staying in the crowd.

"The chantry is not the only group that can bless a marriage," Leandra stated, causing a collective gasp to echo from all the nobility. "If this man can continue to make my daughter as happy as he already has, then I don't see the problem. He may be a mage, but he is a healer, never asking for coin from those who have none. He is also a gray warden, and a commander at that, an order sworn to protect all of us from darkspawn and the blights. And he has swept my daughter off her feet, and it is a love I have not seen since my dear Malcolm passed. I would welcome this man into my family, mage or no, with open arms. Besides, shouldn't we wait for her answer?"

Anders felt all the eyes shift from Leandra to the two of them. He was still kneeling on the floor waiting in front of Mari for her answer. Hawke's eyes were focused on her mother, gratitude written over every line of her body at her mother's words of comfort and acceptance. Finally she turned to Anders with tears glistening in her aquamarine eyes before a smile broke out on her lovely face and she nodded her head. Anders jumped up and captured her in his arms, joy rushing through his body as he spun her around and she continued to whisper yes in his ear. He then placed her gently back on her feet before giving her a passionate kiss that caused most the nobility to cheer, much to their surprise.

When they broke the kiss, Anders noticed some nobles leaving, no doubt upset by the audacity of a mage proposing marriage to one of their own. He quickly dismissed them from his mind, too excited and happy about her acceptance to care what they thought. They were soon surrounded by nobles wishing them congratulations and blessings. When the crowd finally dissipated, Anders took Mari's hand and moved to find the dwarf.

Quickly finding Varric, Anders wasn't surprised he was with Fenris, Aveline, and Donnic. What did surprise him was the fact that Aveline was wearing a pale green dress, instead of her normal guardsman full-plate. The four friends congratulated the couple when they arrived, though Anders noticed Fenris seemed reluctant in his blessing.

"You were right Blondie," Varric chuckled. "It was better to not ruin the story."

"I really didn't expect the outrage from the nobles," Anders admitted with a rueful grin as Hawke tucked herself into his side. "I was hoping they would be so caught up in the romance of the proposal they would forget I was a mage. I guess I should know better by now."

"I'm not surprised," Aveline stated tersely. "What surprised me was more people didn't leave."

"Aveline, I never thought I'd see the day," Anders chuckled, changing the subject as he motioned to her dress.

"Yes well, the Seneschal informed me I had to wear a dress, and not my armor," Aveline snipped, plucking at her skirt, her discomfort apparent with her movement.

"Pay no attention to him," Donnic affirmed smoothly, taking her hand in one of his. "You look lovely."

Aveline's face turned bright red at Donnic's compliment and she tried to hide the smile his words caused. The friends continued to talk to each other, while the minstrels took their break. When the music started up again, Hawke pulled away from Anders side and pulled him onto the dance floor.

"As great as the last dance was," she smirked. "I would like to dance a whole dance with you without you causing the scandal of the season."

"But scandals are so much fun," Anders joked, pulling Mari into his arms before sweeping her away with the music. "They make life ever so entertaining. If there were no scandals among the nobility, life would be ever so dull."

Hawke laughed at his joke as he guided her effortlessly around the ballroom. The rest of the evening passed too quickly for Anders. Congratulations were given by many of the nobility the rest of the night, petit-fours were consumed, alcohol was drank, and all too soon a happily drunk Mari was yawning up at him asking to go home. Only too content to oblige the woman who would soon be his wife, Anders found their cloaks and the two mages headed out into the cold winter's night towards their home.

The cold night air seemed to revitalize Hawke, and by the time they got into their rooms she pulled him into a deep passionate kiss. Anders groaned as she pushed her small body against his own causing blood to rush to his groin. The two began to undress each other, casting the trappings on the floor to be gathered tomorrow. Falling into bed with Mari, Anders made love to her sating them both in the shared pleasure they always could achieve. Soon they fell quickly to sleep, snuggled in each other's arms.

* * *

Anders glanced around in the fade, he found himself on a cliff between the image of Kinloch Hold and the Gallows. Dread filled his gut as the oppression these two places represented in his life.

"It is good to see you again my friend," a hollow voiced greeted behind him. Anders turned and faced an opaque image of a man in armor; confusion etched his features since he could not place where he knew the voice. "I will forgive your confusion since it has been many years since you saw me this way. You last saw me haunting a corpse."

"Justice?" Anders queried, realization dawning.

"Indeed friend," the spirit confirmed. "I have been reluctant to approach, unsure if you would remember me."

"Elissa said they discovered a way to send you back, but that was years ago."

"Time does not exist here. Only in your world do you measure such passages."

"I remember. I'm sure you are glad to be home."

"I am, though I remember a promise I made to you that has gone unfulfilled. I came to rectify my error."

"What promise?"

"To help you free the mages."

"Justice, you're back in the fade. I would not expect you to complete such a promise."

"Never the less, there is an injustice in your world that I promised to help you remedy. I came to find you to complete our bargain."

"How would we do this?"

"We would join."

Anders jaw dropped at the implications of what Justice was suggesting. "Do you understand what you are asking of me?"

"We knew each other quite well Anders, I would think you would want to help your fellow mages."

"I am already helping them," Anders intoned. "I work with an underground in Kirkwall setting mages free. I talk with the Viscount and Grand Cleric about the abuses the mages suffer."

"And they ignore you," Justice pointed out, coming forward to stand beside Anders on the cliff's edge. "The Gallows is worse with the injustices towards their mages than your own circle was. Do you truly not wish to help your comrades?"

"How do you know this?"

"I have witnessed the nightmares of the mages of Kirkwall while trying to locate you. You distract yourself from your true purpose with this relationship you have. I can help you find your focus."

"Not a good sell Justice," Anders quipped. "Mari is a fellow mage and she assists me when she can. She has helped me more than you could realize just by being an example to the other mages in Kirkwall. She gives them something to strive towards."

"These mages will never reach said goal as long as the system they live in remains corrupt, heedless of the injustices they suffer."

"I know," Anders sighed. "How would this work then, our joining?"

"I would help you find focus and remove needless distractions while we worked to free the mages in Kirkwall."

"Would you be in control?"

"No," Justice answered quickly. "I would only take control when your emotions became too volatile or when you allow me the control."

"So I will still have choices, free will?"

"Yes, I am no demon Anders. I will not control you against your will. We would become one mind and body, and I would just help guide you."

"I can't believe this is something you would do again. I thought you hated our world."

"I will not lie, I do not like being outside the fade. But I made you a promise, and I would help you see justice done for the mages."

"This is not something I should agree to lightly, may I think on this Justice? A joining is a serious thing. Remember what it was like for you when you were in Kristoff's body? The emotions, the memories he held were very hard for you to deal with sometimes. I wouldn't be a dead host, I would be alive."

"I understand, and I will give you time to think on my suggestion."

The scene around Anders changed and he was released from the fade. He felt the warmth of Hawke body still snuggled into his side as he stared up at the canopy over their bed. _Big night,_ Anders mused to himself. _First a marriage proposal then Justice offers me a joining of a different type._ He thought about Justice's proposal not sure what to make of his friend's offer. Being a spirit healer, he knew this would be a huge undertaking and a joining of this nature would be permanent. Anders had a lot to think on, but sleep still pulled at him and he quickly found himself back in the fade without offers from spirits and demons.


	30. Wedding Planning

A/N: My muse has gotten a serious case of ADD, seriously. I have lot of new ideas, but she seems reluctant to continue old ones...Anyway, here's a bit of fluff and happiness, even if it is a tad short. I thankfully have some other ideas locked in from musings earlier so I should be able to get some more chapter up soon. Hope you enjoy!

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The next morning Anders was woken by kisses being peppered all over his neck and face. He groaned in mock disgust, before grabbing the offender raining her affections on him.

"Good morning," she giggled, as he opened his sleepy eyes. "Mother insisted I come wake you. She wants to know if you want to help with preparations for the wedding or if you want to entrust her and I with our upcoming wedding."

"Too early," Anders growled before pulling his future wife down to give her a passionate kiss. Mari hummed as she returned the kiss, shifting her body so she was lying on top of him. "With that wake up call, I only have one thing on my mind."

"Oo, tell me more," Hawke purred, her hands fisting in Anders' hair with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. Instead of telling Anders set about showing Marianna what happens when she wakes him.

After the two mages made love, Anders got dressed to work in the clinic for a few hours. With most of Mari's extra money going to help the Fereldan refugees, there was less and less for him to do but he still liked to keep the clinic open in the mornings. Even if he had no patients, he would work on his manifesto in between helping those in need. His assistants always knew where to find him later in the day if something catastrophic happened. Then Anders would have lunch with Hawke, when she was home, before heading to Viscount's Keep to work on warden business for the afternoon.

Anders walked hand in hand with Mari down to the kitchen to grab food to break their fast. Before he could get to the kitchen, he was pulled into an almost bone-crushing hug with Hawke's mother.

"You made me so happy last night," Leandra gushed after releasing the blonde mage. "This wedding will be the talk of the season, and Marlowe said if the Grand Cleric wouldn't marry the two of you in the chantry, he would be honored to perform a private ceremony. So today we need to talk with Elthina, go see a tailor, a florist, a baker. You two need to find people to stand with you during the ceremony. I hope we can have the two of you wed in a month, maybe six weeks. I have my work cut out for me."

Anders and Hawke looked at each other in exasperation as they watched Leandra mutter to herself as she headed into the study, Orana in tow. The two mages quickly ducked into the kitchen to eat before Hawke's mother could pull them into the study. Bodahn had eggs, bacon, biscuits, tea, and juice ready for them.

"I understand congratulations are in order Messeres," the dwarf grinned, rocking back and forth near them when they sat down to eat. "My boy and are wish you many blessings."

"Enchantment!" Sandal exclaimed from the corner of the kitchen.

"Your mother has been most excited," Bodahn chuckled. "I think she may have the whole wedding already planned. We were already working on a menu to make sure we had enough food ordered by the time the wedding date arrived."

"Thank you Bodahn," Mari replied graciously. The elder dwarf bowed before excusing himself with his adopted son in tow. "I'll trade you," she hissed out in a near panic. "You can plan with mother, and I'll go work in the clinic."

"Not on your life," Anders chuckled, winking at his love. "But you know where to find me if you need to escape."

"You're going to have to make it up to me later," Mari vowed, before setting to eat the food in front of her.

"I will," Anders grinned, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Over and over and over."

Hawke jerked her chin up to look at Anders, a blush creeping up her cheeks as she realized the meaning of his words.

"I love that I still make you blush," he chuckled, finishing his food quickly before planting a kiss on her forehead. "Good luck my love, and again you know where to find me if you need to escape."

"Remember to find someone to stand with you," Hawke reminded him as he left through the cellar and down to his clinic in Darktown.

The rest of Anders morning went by pretty quickly. He had a few patients but soon it was high sun and the warden mage made his way back up the Amell cellars into the mansion for lunch. However, neither of the Hawke women had returned from their planning, so Anders told Bodahn he would be heading to the Hanged Man for lunch instead. Anders ordered some lunch for Norah before heading back to Varric's suite. The storyteller was hard at work going over books when Anders knocked on his open door.

"Blondie, I still don't know whether to thank you or hate you for helping Bartrand," the dwarf greeted the mage, closing the books before setting them to the side. "You've given me more work than I ever wanted."

"Hawke wanted to give your brother a chance, just like her brother has a chance," Anders grinned, sitting next to the dwarf. "Besides, it I know you, you'll have the family businesses broken up with fake family members so you don't really have to do much."

"I know," Varric grumbled, with a slight widening of his eyes. "But I doubt you came here to listen to me grumble about taking over the family business."

"I'm here for something a bit more personal," the mage confirmed, paying Norah for the food and pitcher of ale. "With the wedding coming up, I'm supposed to find someone to stand with me during the ceremony."

"Right," the dwarf smirked, pouring a mug of ale for himself.

"With being a mage, I have no family," Anders explained quietly, sadness touching his words as he absent-mindedly stirred the lamb stew with his spoon. "It wasn't until I was with the wardens and then again here with Hawke that I felt close enough to people to consider finding a home. Even though you've threatened me with bodily harm whenever I screw up with Mari, you're my best friend and I was wondering if I could ask you to stand with me at my wedding."

"Blondie," Varric choked out, unshed tears glittering in his eyes. "I'd be honored. Do you know who Hawke is choosing?"

"Not in the slightest," Anders grinned. "She and Leandra told me this morning before I set out for the day and Mari was still out with her mother planning when I came by the mansion for lunch."

"You do realize you just placed me in charge of your stag night?" Varric queried with a wicked gleam lighting up his eyes.

"I'm aware," the blonde chuckled digging into the stew while it was still hot enough to not taste how horrible it was. "Have fun with that. Just don't make it a standard night at the Rose."

"There will be nothing standard about it," the dwarf agreed before taking a deep pull of his ale.

The two chatted amicably while Anders finished his lunch before heading back up to Hightown and his office at the keep. He found his second in command, Sennet Baneux behind the desk working on a few reports. Sennet was an elven rogue from Orlais. The two got along well because the elf didn't demand Anders around all the time. The rogue, being from an alienage, understood the work Anders did for the poor of Kirkwall so he took care of business in the mornings while the warden mage worked in the clinic.

"Commander, I took care of most of the reports," Sennet greeted him with his thick Orlesian accent while motioning to a small pile of parchment. "But those require your personal attention. There are two possible recruits arriving later this week from Starkhaven for your inspection before heading to Fereldan for training, should they pass."

"Sennet, I've told you to call me Anders," the mage chuckled taking off his staff and leaning it on the wall near the desk.

"That you have," the elf laughed. "Forgive me but it's an Orlesian custom to address people by their titles. Call us sticks in the mud if you wish. It is a hard habit to break, but for my commander I will try."

"Anything else to report?" Anders asked, peaking over the rogue's arm to see what he was writing.

"Commander Elissa will be sending some wardens here in four to six weeks to head into the roads," Sennet paused in his writing to point at the letter from Elie. "The architect wants to meet with a member of the wardens to discuss some new matter, so she's sending a full compliment in case the spawn decides to betray us."

Anders picked up the letter and read quickly, confirming the news the rogue already relayed to him. Just as he finished the letter, Sennet finished his report with a flourish before standing and moving so Anders could begin that small stack the rogue left for him. The stack of reports quickly got him to the end of the day, when he left for the Amell estate and his future wife. Dinner at home was a talkative affair as the two women informed Anders of everything they had planned. The best news was their relayed story from Grand Cleric Elthina.

"Elthina is willing to perform the ceremony," Mari informed him, flushed with excitement and happiness. "Apparently there is nothing in the chant or law against mages getting married. It just happens so infrequently that people just assume the chantry is against mage unions."

"It helps she knows the good works you do," Leandra pointed out, to the surprised blonde. "She calls you a steward of good will and was quite adamant about performing the ceremony. The news had already reached her by the time we were able to make it to the chantry this afternoon. The wedding is set for a month from now, I'm hoping that will be enough time for everything and get the invitations sent."

"I have a few people I would like to invite," Anders admitted, thinking of the wardens in Fereldan. "I'll write down my small list tonight so you can get the invitations written as soon as possible."

"Wonderful," Leandra gushed, bolting upright and disappearing from the dining room, and soon returning with parchment, quill, and ink.

The rest of the evening was spent creating the guest list, and Leandra in complete support that the wardens who served with Anders and now serve with Carver should be invited. Leandra was glad to invite their friends who set about making Kirkwall a safer place, her only insistence: Isabela had to wear pants if she didn't wear a dress.

The next few weeks passed quickly for Anders as the planning for his wedding with Mari seemed to take center stage for all of the nobility. It became a much larger affair then he would have liked but understood enough to know that it was more for Leandra's bragging rights than Hawke's. The couple knew, without Bethany, this was the only wedding Leandra would be able to plan and they wanted her to have that joy of planning for her daughter so they allowed her free reign.

Mari and Anders enjoyed seeing the joy in Leandra's smile and the spring in her step as she set about planning the two mages' wedding. Too bad it all changed one morning with the arrival of white lilies.

* * *

A/N: Duh, duh, duh! Sorry, had to throw in a little drama!


	31. Finality

A/N: Don't read while at work, sexual content near the end. You've been warned. :-)

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Anders stood quietly in the chantry at Hawke's side, tears pricking his eyes as he listened to the Grand Cleric. It was still too surreal. Today was supposed to be his wedding day, and now he was at the funeral for the woman who would have been his mother-in-law and his wedding to Mari had been cancelled. He looked around at the crowd gathered for the service finding it hard to concentrate on the chant while mourning Leandra. He was somewhat surprised at the number of people present and not all of them were nobility.

He had noticed the Viscount and Seneschal Bran were present for the proceedings, which surprised him at first until he remembered the way Leandra had spoken with the two gentlemen and was sure they had known each other when Hawke's mother first lived in Kirkwall. He recognized many of the people from his clinic, patients both he and Mari had treated in the past. He saw a few brave members of the mage underground, as well as several of the workers from the Bone Pit. It seemed despite their best efforts, word of Leandra's death had spread among those who knew Hawke, or knew of her, and had come to offer their support and condolences. He could even feel the familiar tug on his senses of wardens present, other than Carver at Hawke's other side. It was a testament to the difference Mari had made in this town seeing how full the chantry became for both the Hawke women.

The service was a blur to Anders' mourning mind. Both Marianna and Carver spoke a few words before a select few people were taken behind the chantry to the pyre erected with Leandra's remains. The siblings lit the pyre together and held each other as the flames licked at the wood. Sebastian stepped forward to say a few more words from the chant before stepping back and watching with everyone else. Anders felt someone take his hand and turned to see Elissa standing next to him with understanding and sympathy shining from her glistening emerald eyes. He squeezed her hand in thanks before turning back and losing himself in thought over Leandra.

A cry of anguish broke Anders from his reverie and he looked to see Mari collapsed on the ground shaking in her brother's arms. Carver looked to Anders, his own grief apparent in the blue eyes, so like his sister's. Anders stepped forward scooping Hawke into his arms before carrying her away from the pyre and back to the mansion. The small group followed the warden mage from the pyre, leaving behind the chantry attendants. Bodahn and Orana had prepared a luncheon for those staying at the house who would have been wedding guests, as well as the few who would turn up to give their condolences throughout the day.

Anders carried Mari up the stairs and gently laid her on their bed. Hawke's hands were fisted in the blond mage's black silk coat, making him shift her on the bed before joining her and pulling her into his arms. The couple stayed on the bed, Anders holding her gently, kissing her occasionally until Marianna's tears abated and she drifted off to sleep from exhaustion. Anders slowly crept from the room, allowing his love this time to rest as he joined the others in the dining room.

"How is she?" Carver's questioned, his voice cracking with his own anguish.

"About as well as can be expected," Anders answered quietly, pouring himself a generous amount of brandy before swallowing it down quickly and welcoming the burn that bloomed in his stomach. "She blames herself, thinking her wedding brought the unwanted attention. She thinks she failed another member of the family."

"How can she blame herself?" Carver growled. "It was that…that sick bastard's fault, not her's."

"A part of her still does," Anders admitted. "I've tried to explain there was nothing she could do but she won't listen to me. I tell her she was lucky to have her mother as long as she did, not many mages are so lucky but she's set on blaming herself."

"I can talk to her when she wakes," Elissa stepped forward, overhearing the conversation. "I've been in her shoes and I understand that pain."

"Elie are you sure?" Nathaniel stepped up, worry shining in his gray eyes. "You still don't like talking about that night."

"I think I can help her," Elissa confirmed, nodding her head with a slight reluctance.

"We would be grateful Elissa," Anders spoke up for himself and Carver, knowing the horrors that still haunted Elissa from the night her family was slaughtered on the order of Nathaniel's father.

The friends and family ate, knowing it might be some time before Hawke awoke from her nap upstairs. They moved from the dining room into the study and listened with Varric and Isabela taking center stage most of the time, telling stories. Oghren was drinking with Fenris, who seemed to grimace more around the red-haired dwarf than any other of the misfits combined. Once enough ale had passed the dwarven warrior's lips, he too began telling stories to try and rival his fellow dwarf. A few hours had passed before Marianna quietly appeared in the library, hugging herself into Anders' side.

Varric ceased telling his story as he met Elissa's knowing gaze when the two mages settled upon a chaise. The auburn haired rogue launched into her own tale, as Hawke picked at the food Bodahn brought for her. Mari quickly forgot about the food as she listened to the youngest Cousland's own sad story. Anders was grateful for Elissa's willingness to share her distressing tale; it was not one she easily told. At the end of the rogue's tale, everyone looked to Hawke checking if she understood the point.

"How did you go on?" Mari's voice broke the pervading quiet as she fed bits of her food to Demon, her mabari.

"It wasn't easy," Elissa admitted as Nathaniel took her hand. "For months after their murder, I blamed myself until I finally confronted Howe himself. He had been planning my family's destruction for years; the blight simply gave him the opportunity. Sadly it would have happened, no matter what I could do. It's the same with _him_. You first began investigating the missing women years ago. You are not to blame for a madman's obsession."

Hawke stared at the ground of the study, absorbing Elissa's words. "It's just hard to accept that he would have gotten her, no matter what I did," Marianna finally whispered into the pervading quiet.

"I know," Elissa agreed just as quietly. "I will be honest with you, the pain…it never really goes away but it gets easier to live with, but you know this already."

Bodahn announced dinner was ready soon after the completion of Elissa's explanation. The group wandered into the dining room, eating, drinking, and continuing the stories. As the evening grew late, the members of Hawke's companions left while the wardens went to their respective rooms on the estate. Carver waiting with Mari until everyone else had left.

"I want to take mother's ashes," her brother informed her when everyone else had left for the night.

"What?" Hawke glared at her brother at his bold statement.

"I want to take mother's ashes to bury them with father," Carver explained. "Elissa gave me some time, if you agreed, so I could take them to Lothering and bury them with father."

"I see," Mari stared at the fire in the foyer for a moment as she processed her younger brother's words. "I think she would have liked that. You'll have to retrieve them tomorrow from the chantry. Sebastian should be able to get them for you. Good night brother."

"Night sister," the young warden warrior spoke before leaving his sister at the base of the stairs.

Anders followed Hawke into their room. She stopped in front of the fire and the blonde mage came up behind his black-haired love, and pulled her back into his chest to wrap his arms around her and rest his chin on her head. The two stared into the crackling fire, lost in their own thoughts.

"We were supposed to get married today," Mari finally broke the silence.

"I know love," Anders replied numbly.

"Can you do me a favor?" the petite mage questioned, turning around in Anders' embrace.

"Anything for you," Anders pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"Help me forget for an hour," Hawke begged, desperation entering her cerulean eyes. "Make me feel alive."

Marianna stood on tiptoe as she captured Anders' lips in a frantic kiss. Shock washed over Anders at her strange request, but was quickly taken over by the passion she desired to feel from her lover during this stage of her grief. As their passion built, Anders finally broke the kiss to trail kisses down her jaw pulling her earlobe into his mouth to gently bite it causing Hawke to gasp and shiver in his arms.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear before trailing kisses down the pale expanse of her neck.

"I love you too," she replied as she pushed his midnight coat from his shoulders and then reaching up to fist her tiny hands in his blonde silky locks. Anders' caresses left her gasping his name as he stoked her passion while still clothed. Hawke's body was so well known to the warden mage that he soon as her growling in frustration before breaking away from him. She began to hurriedly undress watching him with hooded eyes full of lust and passion. Anders followed her lead, undressing quickly before they reached for each other again stoking the blaze even quicker.

Hawke managed to back Anders up against the wall where she caressed, kissed and licked her way down his body to kneel in front of his enlarged member. Mari licked her lips as if looking at a tasty treat before meeting her lover's hazy eyes. She grasped Anders' hips before gently licking off the precum glistening on the end of his member. The blond mage grunted as he watched her slowly seal her berry lips around his twitching erection. Her tongue swirled around his sensitive tip before enveloping him in her velvety mouth. Anders' hands fisted into Mari's sable locks as she worked him with her mouth, causing him to gasp and shudder each time he hit the back of her throat.

Anders felt his release building in Marianna's skillful mouth. He tried to pull out but felt her grip his hips harder, before moving one of her hands to caress and gently tug his balls while she continued to swirl her talented tongue around his tip. Hawke's head bobbed faster as Anders helped her set a new rhythm. He howled her name as his release washed over him, filling her mouth with semen as she swallowed it easily. Mari hummed in pleasure as she stood up again, licking her lips in joy as she met her lover's chocolate eyes.

The blonde mage growled as he spun the two of them, pressing Hawke into the wall in his stead. Anders dipped his head, capturing one of her erect nipples in his mouth with one hand kneading and caressing the other. Mari pulled his head up to capture his wicked mouth with a fiery kiss. The kiss left both mages gasping for air before Anders hand caressed a trail down to her folds. Hawke's hips bucked into Anders' palm as his fingers tortured the lips of her entrance. The petite mage growled in frustration, causing her lover to chuckle deep in his chest before relenting in his teasing affections.

Anders able fingers parted his slick folds before plunging a finger into her velvety depths. Marianna mewled in pleasure as his finger curled hitting the spot inside her. A second long finger quickly joined the first as Anders caressed her trembling body with his other hand. The blonde mage thrust his fingers in Mari's core, building the tension in her reactive body. Hawke's hips thrust into Anders palm unconsciously as he brought her closer to completion. Her breathing became erratic and the walls of her channel became tighter. Anders rolled her dusky nipple better his fingers as he captured her mouth in a kiss. He released jolts of electricity through his hands and mouth pushing the petite mage over the edge. Anders kept Mari pinned to the wall, knowing her knees had given out as the pleasure and electricity rolled through her.

Anders stepped back, to allow Hawke free but she pulled him back to the wall, lifting her limber leg to his hip. Grinning down at the short mage, Anders lifted her pinning her against the wall. Anders maneuvered her legs so her knees were positioned in the crooks of his elbows leaving her at his mercy as she guided his hardened member into her hot core. Mari sighed in pleasure as her lover filled her, making her feel complete. The two mages panted together before Anders pulled out slightly only to crash into her depths again. Hawke was held against the wall as Anders set a slow speed building their pleasure.

"Faster," Hawke gasped, grasping Anders' broad shoulders as he impaled her. The blonde mage grunted in reply, but complied with his lover's request. An animalistic growl tore from his lips as Mari nipped his neck marking him as he continually drove his engorged member into her molten channel. Hawke keened and panted as Anders picked up speed once again. The blonde mage growled, feeling him release building as he pounded into his lover. Mari reached down between their sweaty bodies to pleasure her pearl as she was pinned to the wall. Watching her pleasure herself at the joining of their bodies almost pushed Anders over the edge but he gritted his teeth and found one of Hawke's breasts suckling as he hammered into her silky walls. Unable to hold it back any longer, Anders used the wall to support himself as their shared release washed them.

They stayed coupled until the final wave of pleasure allowed Anders to pull out and gently set his lover on the floor. The two mages made their way to the bed, leaving their scattered clothes on the floor, as they cuddled together before falling quickly asleep from sated exhaustion.

…

Anders passed into the fade and found himself once again on a cliff face between the images of Kinloch Hold and the Gallows. He smiled slightly in anticipation of seeing his old friend again.

"Anders have you thought of my proposal?" Justice asked without preamble, stepping up next to the blonde mage.

"I have," Anders nodded, turning to meet the gaze of the spirit. "I have always welcomed your advice Justice, but what you ask of me…"

"It would allow us to set your brethren free," Justice intoned.

"I know," Anders replied curtly his lips twisting in distaste. "Did you know a fellow mage has been murdering women trying to reconstruct his dead wife?"

"I have witnessed his dreams," Justice admitted before quickly raising a hand to keep Anders from interrupting. "I know what you're going to say, but time has no meaning here. It seemed as though I saw the magus Quintin's dreams and then this Hawke's nightmares but by then it was already too late."

"I still know the circles need to change," Anders broke the spirit's gaze and turning to look out at the two buildings looming in the hazy distance. "But seeing his depravity makes me rethink everything. I would not turn aside your wisdom Justice but I do not think our joining would be beneficial for the cause I'm fighting."

"I believe I understand," the spirit nodded. "When you seek my guidance, you need only call my name. I will stay close my friend to aid you in the future you seek."

"Do you have any advice to offer?"

"Your manifesto is a good start, but being trapped here in the fade makes it difficult to read in entirety. Elissa was always supportive of mage's rights. Give it to her to read and give you feedback. Since she is not a mage, she can help you formulate thoughts that would sway those who have not been born with your gifts."

"Thank you Justice," Anders smiled, feeling at peace with his decision to avoid a merge with the spirit at his side. The scene in front of Anders faded and changed returning him to his normal dreams in the fade.


	32. Fair Warning

Anders was sitting at his desk, Nathaniel was going to be returning to Kirkwall soon, and he needed to get this report ready before they left on their mission. They were to meet with some of the architect's forces in the deep roads. He had been so consumed with writing his report that he didn't hear anyone enter his office until well armored gloves appeared on the edge of his desk. Glancing up he found Knight-Commander Meredith looming over his desk, a malicious glare in her eyes as she studied him.

"Knight-Commander, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" Anders quipped, putting down his quill and leaning back in his chair. He refused to give this woman the satisfaction of cowing him by being imposing in his own office.

"I am just doing my duty as a templar and making sure a well-known apostate is free of blood magic," was her brisk reply.

"Well as you can see," Anders smirked, pulling back the sleeves of his warden armor to expose his arms up to the elbows. "I have no cuts on me, except for parchment cuts. Nasty buggers."

Meredith only snorted in response as she studied his arms. She stood from leaning on Anders desk, and folded her arms across her chest. "I understand you have been living with Serah Hawke, asked her to marry you in a most public display, and have gotten Grand Cleric Elthina to agree to perform the union."

"Your point?"

"I find it most odd that a member of the nobility would openly engage in a relationship with a mage," she pointed out.

"It's not so odd if you know her past," Anders muttered, unconcerned with Meredith's allegations.

"Yes, I have heard the story," Meredith groused. "Her father was a mage at this circle before one of our templars helped him to escape. If this templar were still alive, he would be punished for such an act."

"If there's nothing else I can do for you," Anders broke eye contact with Meredith to look at his full desk. "I have paperwork I need to finish before I leave for the deep roads with my men later today."

"There is one more thing, I have heard rumors of an apostate living among the nobility," Meredith continued to watch him closely.

"Not me?" Anders asked, looking slowly back up at Meredith.

"It is not, these rumors center on Serah Hawke," Meredith threatened quietly.

"If I am living with this woman, why would you warn me?" Anders stilled his face so as not to betray his fear.

"So you could be a good citizen and turn her in, before the rumors prove to be true and we are forced to execute both you and her staff for harboring an apostate," the Knight-Commander replied in such a tone that it should be completely obvious to Anders.

"Meredith, I am an apostate, a free mage," Anders pointed out. "What makes you think I would turn in another mage to you and your prison, especially one who up until her mother's untimely death, I was set to marry? Besides, don't you know better than to listen to gossiping nobility? Some say Hawke's a man, others sleeping with Guard Captain Aveline, and still others that she's eight feet tall. If none of these are true, why would her being an apostate be true?"

"I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything better from a warden," Meredith sneered at Anders. "An order known to aid maleficar and murderers."

"If that is all," Anders held his simmering anger in check. "I believe you have worn out your welcome in my office, I suggest you leave."

Meredith glared down at Anders, but this time he refused to break eye contact first. He kept his own glare centered on her face and waited as tense moments passed before the Knight-Commander finally turned and left. Anders continued to stare at the door, but this time panic replaced the anger. Soon Aveline was standing in the door.

"I heard everything," Aveline confirmed quietly as she moved into his office. "Maybe you should warn her."

"I cannot," Anders stated. "She'll have me watched. If I leave before the end of the day without my wardens it'll only confirm her suspicions. Can you send one of your guardsmen in plain clothes? We need to warn her to be careful; the templars will be keeping a close eye on her."

"I can send Donnic," Aveline confirmed. "And just as the qunari problems are getting worse. First it was Viscount Dumar's son, then Isabela running away with her stupid relic, and tomorrow morning she was to meet me at the compound to help me with the Arishok again. Now we have to keep a closer eye out for templars."

"When it rains, it pours." Anders noted, as Aveline stood to leave his office. "Give me just a few moments and I'll have a letter ready for Donnic to deliver. Thank you Aveline."

Aveline nodded to the warden mage before leaving his office, going in search of Donnic to deliver a message to Hawke. Anders erratic thoughts kept him from penning a warning to Mari for several minutes. _What's her game? _The blonde warden thought to himself. _I don't know why she would bring me such a warning. Unless she wants me to incriminate myself and thus give her cause to have me arrested. She's been growing more and more unstable lately, it's getting harder to smuggle mages out of the gallows safely. _It was Donnic's arrival in his office that alerted him to his need to scratch out a warning to his love.

* * *

Nathaniel stepped into Anders' office a couple hours after dawn the next morning. Their ship had arrived later than expected due to a storm, so they prolonged their departure to give the tired wardens a night of rest and relaxation before setting out for the deep roads. Anders had been woken up by Hawke. She was set to meet Aveline at the Qunari compound this morning but due to time restraints on both their parts was only able to give him a quick kiss goodbye before heading out the door, a farewell that left him feeling frustrated.

"Nate, how was your night at _The Noble's Respite_?" Anders greeted the rogue as he checked over his gear.

"A well enjoyed night after a week in the ship's hold with all the men," Nate replied, cracking a rare smile. "I sent the men ahead to the city gates so it'll just be you, Carver, Sennet, and I."

"Good to know," Anders intoned picking up his healer's satchel, traveling pack, and staff.

"Elie asked me to give this back to you," Nate pulled out the manifesto he sent with Elie when they were here a month and a half ago. "She wanted you to know she put notations in the margins when she could as well as slipped in pieces of parchment when her suggestions wouldn't fit."

"Wonderful," Anders eyes glowed with excitement before he flipped open his satchel and slipped the proposals into the bag. "Shall we move out?"

The bow wielder simply nodded and stepped out of the office, leading the way out into the center of Viscount's Keep where Carver and Sennet were waiting for them. The four wardens stepped out into the early morning and were greeted with dark storm clouds bearing down on the city.

"Great," Carver groused. "I hate traveling in the rain."

"You get used to it," Nathaniel pointed out, unstringing his bow and placing the fiber in a waxed pouch to keep it dry. The quartet pulled out their traveling cloaks, and started down the steps of the keep. They traveled quickly through Hightown and as they reached the bridge leading them to Lowtown, Anders noticed fires blooming on the docks but shrugged it off quickly knowing the rain would take care of the problem.

As the four wardens traveled through Lowtown, they were right outside Gamlen's hovel when they were attacked by a dozen qunari and a Saarebas. The quartet was hard pressed in the battle, since Nathaniel was without his normal weapon. He was still capable of dual-wielding but felt surer with a bow in his hands. Carver faced a majority of the qunari, shielding his fellow wardens as much as possible while the two rogues used the shadows to appear randomly behind opponents to disable and kill them. Meanwhile Anders concentrated his attacks on the qunari mage, keeping it from casting its devastating lightning attacks.

Carver was struck by a Sten's shield, stunning the young warrior. Fire suddenly rained down from the sky and Anders sensed the familiar magic of his lover. The four wardens heard Aveline's familiar taunt as more qunari redirected their attacks from Carver to the Guard Captain. Anders noticed Fenris and the ginger warrior join the fray, and though he could hear the whirling of Varric's crossbow and he could sense her magic had yet to see Mari or Varric. The fight quickly turned against the qunari attackers and before long the kossith bodies littered the square leaving only the four wardens with Hawke and her three companions.

"Should have known you'd turn up," Carver grumbled as Anders cast a healing spell on him.

"I live here," Hawke smirked. "It comes with the territory."

"This was an unexpected attack," Nathaniel pointed out as he helped Varric retrieve bolts from the bodies in the square.

"The Arishok decided he liked this pustule of a city _so_ much that he had to take over," Mari quipped. "We could use some help."

Anders sighed, feeling the weight of the warden uniform he was currently wearing. "We can't love, wardens have to stay neutral."

"Bullshit!" Hawke declared vehemently. "You have never been neutral. Look at all the help you give to this town: helping the refugees, helping mages escape. You expect me to believe that was done out of neutrality."

"I walk a fine line love," Anders agreed. "I perform those acts not as the Warden Commander but as myself."

"They invade after all this time," Aveline butted in, her green eyes glimmering with repressed anger. "And you can't help?"

"I wish we could," Anders admitted. "There's nothing we can do."

"Commander," Sennet stepped forward. "We need to leave."

"Right," Anders nodded to his second. "Take care my love. I should be back in a month."

Anders pulled the petite mage into a parting embrace causing Carver to groan and turn away. They shared a passionate kiss before the eight people separated, the wardens leaving the burning city while Hawke and her friends continued towards their destination. The way to the city gates was remarkably clear, and they didn't run into any more of the qunari. They headed towards the chosen deep roads entrance, however the rainy weather kept them from traveling as fast as they normally would. Anders had just decided to set up camp in a remarkably dry clearing when the storm passed and the rain abated leaving the wardens with an easy evening to make camp.

* * *

Anders found himself in the fade, but that wasn't the strange part. What was strange was Hawke was here with him; at least Anders thought it was her. It felt like her, and not some demon.

"Mari?" he queried cautiously, still not entirely sure it was her.

"Anders…" her voice trailed off weakly, and he noticed wounds and bruises across her body before her form in the fade began to vanish in front of his eyes. "Help…"

Anders bolted up from his bedroll with a gasp, they were only half a day's journey from Kirkwall, and he had just seen Mari when they were trying to get out of the city. Something must have happened, her pleading for help and the wounds covering her body made Anders break out in a cold sweat. He was set to take second watch so he had gone to bed as soon as possible, the rest of the wardens were still awake talking around the campfire.

"Commander?" Carver asked he had been sent with Nate on this mission to get a chance to "meet" the Architect. "Anders, you just lay down is everything all right?"

"Mari, she's in trouble," Anders explained. "I have to go back to Kirkwall."

"Anders she was just fine earlier," Nate pointed out. "A little beset by qunari but alive and healthy."

"I know but she just came to me in the fade, asked for help. She was covered in wounds and bruises, I have to find out if she's okay."

"How do you know it was her and not a demon?" Carver asked, looking a little concerned that his sister's life was in jeopardy, but not sure he believed Anders' claim.

"I've been tempted by demons in her form before, this wasn't the same. It's hard to explain but it _felt _like her. I know if I don't go back she could die, I have to get back to Kirkwall," Anders confirmed, packing up his belongings. "Nate I want you to take over, you have enough experience in the roads for this. The rest of you, continue without me."

"I'm coming with you," Carver bluntly stated, rising with his own pack.

"Carver," Nate warned, staring at the young warden.

"She's my sister, the last of my family," Carver affirmed. "I'm going."

"Let's go Carver, the sooner we set out, the sooner we get back to help her," Anders set off into the dark, a spirit wisp lighting their path back to the city of chains.


	33. Champion in Peril

Carver and Anders made slow progress back to Kirkwall due to the darkness from cloud cover so they arrived back at the Amell estate just before dawn. Rushing into the mansion Bodahn managed to greet the two wardens with surprise before they were directed up to Hawke in their room.

"Anders, we thought you'd be gone for a month," Merrill greeted her fellow mage, tears shining from her mossy eyes. "We didn't know how to get word to you. Varric is out trying to find someone who will deliver a message to the deep roads. He didn't get one to you already did her?"

"Not quite Merrill," Anders replied grimly, moving to Hawke's side to examine her wounds. "Mari sent her own message."

"How could she do that? She's been unconscious for many hours."

"She found me in the fade," Anders hands began to glow as he assessed the damage done to his love. "However she managed to find me, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth."

"When did Hawke give you a horse? Can I see it?"

"That's not what he means," Carver groaned from the end of the bed, staring in horror at his older sister comatose on the bed.

"Did I miss something dirty again?" the Elvhen mage queried as Isabela and Fenris arrived in the room, arms laden with supplies Anders recognized from his clinic in the undercity.

"Apparently we both have amazing timing," the pirate greeted Anders, dumping her load on the bed beside Hawke.

"How did this happen?" Anders asked, after assessing the damage.

"She refused to give the wench to the qunari," Fenris growled out, trying to carfully arrange the poultices, tonic, potions, and bandages in an orderly fashion on the bed for the healer.

"I was halfway to Ostwick," the pirate intoned, pacing in front of the large bedroom window. "Hawke's rubbed off on me in a bad way. I knew I needed to come back to Kirkwall and return the relic to the horn-heads even though Hawke said I could keep it. When I brought it back, the Arishok said his search was over but I had to go with them. Hawke refused to let them take me and then had to duel the Arishok."

"She dueled with the Arishok!" Carver raged his fists clenching and unclenching as he stared at the busty rogue.

"I tried to say I would," Isabela pointed out, fists on her ample hips. "But I wasn't allowed to, something about not being bass-something."

"Basalit-an," Fenris corrected, standing in the corner as he watched the proceedings of the other misfits.

"Sure, what's so bloody important about being one anyway?" Isabela turned to look at the warrior elf.

"It means outsider worthy of respect," Fenris informed the group. "It's the highest honor paid to those not of the qun. The Arishok would not duel any not of the qun or not basalit-an."

"Junior," Varric strolled into the room, noticing the human warrior looming at the foot of the bed. "And Blondie too. Those messengers are better than I thought."

"Hawke sent her own message and a horse through the fade," Merrill chimed in from her spot next to Anders handing him the requested tonic for pain relief.

"Huh, must be nice to be a mage," Varric mused, taking one of the seats in front of the fire. "Wait, did you say a horse?"

Carver chuckled deep in his chest. "She didn't send a horse. It's an expression Merrill."

"That's good, but why would you look in a horse's mouth anyway?" Merrill looked confused as she helped Anders hold Hawke upright so he could heal the damage on her back.

"I'll tell you later kitten," Isabela smirked from across the room. "You just help Sparkle-Fingers get Hawke better, okay?"

"Okay," Merrill chirped, unaware of the rest of the group rolling their eyes at the naïve mage.

"Excuse me Master Anders," Bodahn entered the room, stopping just inside the open door. "I took the liberty of preparing rooms for everyone just in case you decided to rest for a few hours while Messere Hawke is indisposed. I shall turn in now."

"Thank you Bodahn," Anders nodded to the elder dwarf as he continued to heal the multiple internal injuries Mari had suffered. With the outer wounds healed, he didn't have to worry about her bleeding out, the blonde healer just needed to heal her internal organs so she wouldn't die from interior bleeds. Along with the interior bleeding she had a fractured skull as if her head had collided with a wall, a broken clavicle from a sword being brought down on her shoulder, and several broken ribs probably broken at the same time as her skull. Even though he had already healed the injury sustained by a blade running through her belly, Anders could find no sign of injury to her spine, but he would have to keep her in bed just to make sure Hawke hadn't been injured there as well.

The rest of Hawke's companions mulled around sharing banter and playing cards until the sun's rays began peaking through the thick curtains of the window. Then they filed away to sleep in shifts while Anders continued to heal Mari's wounds. Time seemed to pass slowly for the warden mage as he toiled over his lover but the rotating shifts of their companions told another story. He refused to rest until most of Hawke's injuries were healed but he found himself being woken up by Varric with his hand on his shoulder.

"Get some rest Blondie," Varric squeezed his shoulder gently, compassion and worry evident in his golden orbs. "Killing yourself through exhaustion before you can fully heal her will not help. Get some food and some sleep, we'll wake you if there's any change."

"Make sure she stays in bed, should she wake up," the healing warden informed the crossbow wielder. "I can't find signs of injury but I'm unsure if the sword through her stomach injured her spine. I would rather be safe than sorry."

"You got it," Varric solemnly replied before taking the seat Anders evacuated. Anders rubbed a hand across one of his stubble covered cheeks as he headed towards the kitchen to get something to eat before stumbling to an extra bed. In his tired daze, he didn't notice the imploring gaze of Mari's other companions nor did he hear Isabela's surprisingly quiet booted steps follow him into the kitchen. The blonde mage dug into the salted meats, bread, and cheese Bodahn had been keeping stocked at the kitchen table for everyone. He found a crystal glass held out to him by a tanned hand, a measure of his favorite brandy inside.

"How is she?" came Isabela's throaty inquiry, as Anders took the glass from her.

"I haven't healed all her injuries yet, Varric just woke me passed out at her side," Anders replied before tossing back the glass. "I need to get a few hours rest and then I'll be back to healing her."

Isabela's normally sultry looking face suddenly turned to contemplation and a deep-rooted fear could be seen in her golden gaze as she sat in the seat next to Anders.

"Isabela, I know those years ago we didn't know each other well, but you were not the kind of woman to throw away something so valuable when it could save your life. Why come back?"

The pirate stared at Anders before breaking his gaze but not before the blonde warden noticed guilt flash across her features. She removed her blue bandana and ran a shaking hand through her wavy hair before twisting the scrap of azure cloth in her hands. Anders was amazed at how incredibly vulnerable the normally boisterous woman looked in front of him at that moment and though a part of him knew it was her fault for his lover's current state, another part of him knew he couldn't be angry at the busty rogue.

"You're catching me in a rare moment of honesty," Isabela finally voiced. "I owe you both that much. My whole life has been about pillaging, stealing, and gambling. Gold, sex, and rum have been my driving force until I met Hawke…Here is this tiny woman with more gusto and verve than I could ever manage. She still lets me gamble, steal, and all but now I'm helping people too. She's my best friend, almost like a sister I never had and I couldn't let her clean up my mess."

"So you came back hoping the relic would…what?"

"I hoped to make it back before the qunari attacked the town, then this whole mess could have been avoided. The viscount would still be alive. The town wouldn't be a half-burned pile of rubble, and Hawke-" Isabela's voice broke as she stared at the food in front of her at the table, unable to finish the sentence with Marianna's life still undecided. "I guess what I'm trying to say-"

"Its fine Bela," Anders cut off the pirate, knowing how hard it was for her to be this serious.

The rogue stood from the table a breathy, nervous laugh escaping her ruby lips of its own volition as she stared out the kitchen door. Anders watched the tanned woman as emotions played across her face but unable to read her thoughts like Varric and his Mari could.

"Goodbye Anders," Isabela finally spoke, breaking the silence before hurrying out the kitchen door.

Too tired to think about the finality of Isabela's parting phrase, Anders tucked away more bread, cheese and meat before trudging his way up the stairs and falling into the first available bed. The fade soon rose up to greet him as he fell into a deep exhausted sleep.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is so short, and also has been so long since my last update. I wanted to get a little something out there as a sort of apology. I'm reaching the end of my first pregnancy and things in my life have been a little hectic as a result of getting our apartment ready for the little tyke. So that being said, I hope to get out another chapter before I actually give birth, but that may not be possible since it's less than a month away…if I can great, if not updates may be even more sporadic as a newborn takes up time. (Who knew?!)

Anyway, thanks all for your great support, and I hope you continue to follow this piece even if it becomes more infrequent after my little girl is born.


	34. Unlikely Remedy Source

A/N: Apologies for the long update, my computer was reformated and then refused to connect to the internet, which means I am trying to write this from my husband's comp using the copy/paste method of writing on the actual site, since he doesn't have any writing programs on his comp (a fellow gamer, but not a writer: go figure). I can only hope it doesn't ruin the story too much. And congrats to me for getting another chapter out before my due date (which is Monday *gasp!*).

I know it's been awhile since I've said this but just in case: Dragon Age is owned by Bioware, I'm just fooling around with a possibility.

* * *

It had been a week since Mari had battled the Arishok, but she had yet to awaken from the concussion she suffered. Anders worried for her safe return, each day she continued to sleep was another chance she would never awaken. He had begun to wear a track in the floor of their room from his pacing. With his wardens away in the Deep Roads, and his clinic being cared for by others due to his presumed absence, the blonde warden had nothing to do but wait for his love to awaken. The room was a disaster of his own making with papers, discarded clothes, and first aid supplies scattered throughout the room. Orana had tried to come and clean the room, but had given up due to Anders' agitation. Now all she could do was click her tongue in quiet distaste whenever she brought in food for the now absent-minded and distracted mage.

Though he was provided with food on a regular basis, Anders found he couldn't eat not while Hawke remained comatose. Though her vitals were good, he was worried the fracture from her skull may have done permanent damage to her brain and was the reason she wouldn't awaken. He remembered when she had been attacked by the Silent Sisters, she had a concussion then as well, but it only took her a half day to wake up. Anders growled in frustration over his inability to cure any possible brain damage, and his pace quickened in front of the open window.

"Master Anders," Bodahn crept into the room, nervous because of the mage's volitile temper as of late due to lack of sleep from worry. The apostate warden grunted in reply, finding himself unwilling to engage the elder dwarf for fear of hurting his feelings yet again. "First Enchanter Orsino is here."

"Why?" queried Anders, finding himself unwilling to trust the leader of the circle here in this horrid city, a man who seemed to have no problem leaving his magi caged.

"To offer my services," the first enchanter replied smoothly, entering the room just behind Bodahn. "She did save my life outside the keep, the least I can do is try to save her's."

"Would it not be easier to let the city's _C__hampion_ die?" the blonde growled as the dwarf made a hasty retreat.

"I know you have no reason to trust me," the enchanter began holding out his hands in a soothing motion. "But I have heard the tales of her saving my magi from _Meredith's_ templars."

The way Orsino growled out "Meredith" made the name seem a curse, and caused Anders to cease his pacing and take a long hard look at the elf standing in his bedroom.

"Unless you know of a way to help with swelling in the brain there is nothing to do," Anders began pacing again, casting a furtive glance at Marianna's wasting figure in the large bed.

"I see," the enchanter crossed his arms, his moss eyes glazing over as he lost himself in thought staring at Hawke. After several minutes, the enchanter finally broke the silence. "I may know of a remedy, but I have not seen it made since I was a child. It's an old Dalish remedy and was used on a hunter who fell from a tree while hunting deer. The problem is, it's been more years than I care to admit since I've seen it's use and I doubt we could find it in any texts."

"Not a problem," Anders flashed a quick smile to the first enchanter before dashing from the room. Anders rushed into the kitchen, finding Bodahn helping Orana with the last minute preparations for lunch. "Bodahn, I need you to send a message to Keeper Marethari, the leader of the Dalish on Sundermount."

"As you say Master Anders," the dwarf stuttered, surprised at the sudden lightening of the mage's mood. "What shall the message say?"

"Tell her we need her help with Hawke and an old Dalish remedy," then Anders bolted from the kitchen leaving a very surprised staff behind him.

"The enchanter gave him hope," Orana surmised, a shy smile gracing her delicate face as she ladled the last of the food onto the plate for Hawke's companions.

"Let's hope it works," Bodahn gently patted the elf 's arm before heading out to the writing desk in the foyer to pen the message for the keeper.

From the kitchen Anders rushed to the library, hoping Merrill was here today. He burst into the library causing every conversation to cease as they all looked to the blonde, hoping their leader had awoken. The warden did a quick scan of the library but did not see the petite elvhen mage in the room.

"Is she...?" Isabela started to ask, hope shining from her golden eyes as she stood slightly from her seat next to Carver.

"Not yet," Anders shook his head grimly, pain gripping his heart as he watched his friend's faces fall in defeat. "Orsino thinks he knows of a remedy that he saw used once as a child before taken into the circle. It's a dalish remedy, so I was looking for-"

"On it!" the pirate dashed from the room, eager to do something to help her best friend. "I'll bring back Kitten." She hollered back into the house, just before the front door slammed.

"I also have Bodahn penning a message to Marethari for assistance, just in case Merrill doesn't know the tonic," Anders explained to Fenris, Sebastian, Carver and Varric still waiting in the library.

"We can deliver it," the elven warrior stood, pulling on Sebastian's arm and surprising the other men. "I grow tired of waiting," he stated with a slight shrug of his slim shoulders as he exited the library in search of the elder caretaker.

"I'll let Aveline know," Varric chimed in, a chuckle on his lips as he watched Sebastian try to keep up with the long, hurried strides of the warrior. "Poor woman's been worried sick about Hawke but can't be here since she has to help clean up the city and try to keep order among the nobles with the viscount gone. We should be back shortly, come on Junior."

Soon Anders was left alone in the library, but a new feeling of hope lifted his spirits that had been absent since Mari visited him in the fade asking for his help. He stood there for a few moment longer, before finally making his way back up to the bedroom. He found a tray of food by the bedside, and Orsino perched on the edge of the bed a bowl of broth in his hand as he gently dabbed a napkin in the broth before putting it to Hawke's lips.

"I hope this is okay," the enchanter looked a bit nervous as he pulled the napkin from Mari's lips.

"It's fine," Anders waved his hand dismissively, the smell of Orana's cooking and the hope Orsino had kindled in his heart awakening his appetite as he crossed the room for the tray of food next to the elder mage. Anders tucked into the food, feeling truly ravenous for the first time since this debacle with the Qunari. "You'll have to excuse me, I haven't eaten much this last week."

"I understand," Orsino chuckled lightly, returning to dab broth onto the champion's tongue. "You are worried about her. When you are done, I can try to remember the list of ingredients for the tonic."

"I have that taken care of," the warden replied between bites of the much needed food. "I have a...friend who was studying to be a keeper, she may know this recipe."

"Ah yes, Merrill isn't it?" the enchanter laughed at Anders' perplexed look. "Don't look so surprised, the stories told about you all have spread even to the circle. I'm honestly surprised Meredith hasn't tried to raid the alienage to find your companion. So between the two of us, you are hoping we will remember the recipe."

"Three of you, I also contacted the Keeper of the Dalish tribe on Sundermount. I will not leave any stone unturned while she is unconscious."

"Why would Mare...Feynriel," Orsino's stuttered out before nodding in understanding. "Ser Thrask told me of Hawke's help with the half-elf boy."

The two settled into silence waiting for the companion's to return. Anders finished eating while Orsino continued to feed the broth to Hawke. Orana crept into the room to grab the now empty dishes on the tray and inform the two magi that Varric and Carver returned and were eating in the dining room as well as inviting the first enchanter to eat if he so chose. Anders stood and checked on Marianna, panic taking over when he realized her heart of beginning to weaken though her breathing was still strong.

"We have to hurry," Anders informed the grey-haired enchanter. "The swelling is beginning to take it's toll, her heart if finally starting to weaken."

"That is surprising, she must have a strong desire to live," Orsino mumbled turning towards the bedroom door to leave the room and head towards the dining room.

"She can be quite obstinate," Anders chuckled gently as he affectionately tucked stray ebony strands of hair behind her ears before grabbing parchment and his quill set to lead the enchanter into the dining room.

The four men sat around the dining room table, Orsino attempting to remember the ingredients from the potion before Merrill and Isabela finally made an appearance. The two women swept into the room, Isabela bending over as she attempted to catch her breath.

"Kitten...not home," Isabela explained between gasping for air. "Ran...all over...town...found her...by accident...in neighbor's...garden."

"I would have been here sooner, but she had such lovely flowers blooming," the dalish mage wrung her hands, sitting between Carver and the busty pirate who continued to catch her breath. "I know Hawke gets in trouble when the neighbors catch me, but she had such pretty flowers I couldn't help myself."

"She wonders why I call her daisy," Varric chuckled as he brought his mug of ale to his lips.

The two elvhen magi soon had a complicated list of potion ingredients formed for Anders to find, but Merrill knew there was an ingredient missing from the list but was unable to remember so they would have to wait for Marethari's arrival to finish the tonic. Anders passed the list off to Varric and Isabela who would find some of the more obscure ingredients with the help of their contacts in the city, along with a promise from the warden mage to repay them for their efforts. The two rogues perused the list quickly: ginger, apples, elfroot, embrium, spindleweed, sugar, water, and tumeric before they left the mansion to track down the items. Knowing it would be another day or so before the keeper arrived from the Dalish tribe, the first enchanter excused himself asking for a message about Hawke's recovery and if his idea ended up working for the Champion. Anders assured his fellow mage as he walked him to the door before turning to the mantle in the foyer and staring into the ever-present fire.

_Just one more ingredient. _Anders thought to himself as he stared into the dancing flames. _Just one more and we can work on this hopeful cure. Oh love, I miss you. Your voice, your laugh. I need you back. _Anders broke his gaze from the fire before turning it up to the open bedroom door. The blonde found himself climbing the stairs with more vitality than he had experienced in several days. He checked Hawke's heart and breathing once more before settling next to her unmoving form on the bed and falling into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

A/N:I have many, many ideas for this "three year break" in the story, so there's more to come.

Hawke's cure, for those who are interested is based off a real medicine given to people with swelling in the brain: Mannitol. Though I'm not a chemist, I concocted a cure based on natural ingredients that really contain the chemical or help reduce swelling plus a few Dragon Age components for the fun of it.


	35. Lost and Found, Part 1

Anders seemed to be stuck in a loop in his daily activities. Everyday since Hawke was knocked unconscious after the fight with the Arishok, he had been performing the same routine. Now, however, the routine was becoming more frantic as Mari's heart continued to slow with each passing day. The blonde warden paced in front of the fire in the study. He was vaguely aware of Merrill flitting about the house watering the overly-drenched plants, he ignored Sebastian's incessant chanting in a seat nearby, and tried not to make eye contact with the younger Hawke who tracked the healers movements everywhere in the house with a menacing glare while sharpening his greatsword. Anders honestly couldn't blame Carver for being angry, his sister was on death's doorstep, and the mage wasn't even the one to come up with a viable solution but the intimidation wasn't going to work. He feared Varric more than Junior and he had already survived a few of the dwarven merchant's threats.

After receiving his missive, the Keeper had arrived at the mansion, Marethari thankfully knew the final ingredient missing from the potion Orsino remembered from his childhood. It was red algae, a rare sea plant that was expensive as well as difficult to obtain. This didn't deter the two rogues from using all their contacts to track down the obscure sea tangle in what they viewed as a welcome challenge to their social abilities. Isabela even resorted to using some contacts of Castillon's when the two were unable to track down the gulfweed the first time and every one of the companions had offered to chip in their own money to help fund procuring the algae since it was so prohibitively expensive.

The two thieves were at the docks, the ship carrying their final ingrediant was set to arrive at high sun and they set off to meet the boat on it's arrival. Sadly that was hours ago, it was near sunset currently and Anders knew the two should have been back already so he had asked Aveline and Fenris to see if they could find Varric and Isabela. If they didn't get the final component into the potion and given to Marianna before morning, she would likely never wake up. It had been hard enough for Anders to wake up next to her still form each morning that he had taken to sleeping in the study, to help prevent the panic her slow, unsteady breathing caused the warden in the middle of the night. Anders thought the darkspawn nightmares were horrible, but now with Hawke's fading health and the new torment they created, he found the warden dreams much more bearable.

"This is complete bloody rubbish," Carver finally jumped up, tired of watching Anders pacing. "They should all be back by now, something has happened. We should go look for them."

"I know," Anders acquiesced solemnly and ran a hand through his loose blonde locks, trying to free his tawny vision of the curtain of unkempt hair. "Why don't you and Sebastian see what's keeping them. I'll stay here with Merrill just in case you miss each other, then we'll be here to administer the elixir."

Carver quickly strapped his sword to his back and moved toward the front door of the mansion. The young warrior wasn't waiting for the archer, and Sebastian was forced to run to catch up to the young Hawke's quick pace once he had finished his prayer and grabbed his family weapon. Anders watched the chantry brother rush around the foyer, a slight smirk playing across his stubbled features that quickly faded with the final rogue's departure. He met his fellow mage's gaze before ascending the stairs to his bedroom to hold his beloved's hand for a short time. Their room was disturbingly quiet as he settled into the chair near Hawke's stilling form. The blonde found himself continuing Sebastian's prayer, much to his own surprise, to combat the distressing sound of Mari's slow, unsteady breathing.

Anders wasn't sure how long he had been reciting the chant before a resounding boom echo throughout the stone estate and Fenris' telltale gravely voice called his name. He rushed from his lover's side and was greeted with Aveline and Fenris, slightly battle weary, supporting a nearly unconscious and bloody dwarf between them in the foyer. Rushing down the stairs, his healer's instincts took over while grief and despair overtook his heart like a broken flood gate.

"What happened?" the warden queried as his hands lit up with blue healing energy.

"It was a set-up," Aveline stoically explained. "Castillon tracked Isabela when she used his contacts to find this ingredient. Varric apparently gave Isabela a chance to escape, while Castillon's group tracked him through town. Fenris was able to find him in Darktown. The three of us were attacked on our way here, and I can only assume that Bela managed to escape the city before she was captured since my guardsmen haven't found her."

"What about-" Anders voice broke in anguish, unable to finish the sentence when the thought there might not be a much-needed component amongst the people in front of him.

"Here," Varric's normally smooth voice, now gritty and edged with fatigue and pain as he motioned towards his pack. "Rivaini slipped the vial into my ammo bag before she vanished."

Anders dug through the dwarven merchant's bag before discovering the promised vial. He hadn't been this excited to see a vial since discovering his phylactery in his templar guard's hands. The vial contained what could be mistaken for a branch from a bare bush, with the exception of its brilliant scarlet coloration. It was extremely delicate looking, made all the more so with it currently being dried out. The blonde mage shot the trio a grateful look before turning to rush into the kitchen. His potion making supplies, normally kept in the cellar, had been moved into the kitchen so they could be utilized as soon as the final component arrived. He pulled the cork from the vial, and watched the dried algae slip from it's glass confines into the waiting bowl of his mortar. Working the gulfweed into a find powder, he added the scarlet dust to the viscus fluid waiting in a cauldron nearby. Anders soon had the concoction simmering, and watched the potion change color from a faint pink to a deep red that reminded the blonde mage of blood. Once he was certain the brew was ready, he began dividing the elixir between the waiting flasks to allow them to cool before he could finally administer the antidote to his Mari. The warden had already been instructed by the Dalish Keeper about the potency of the elixir. The longer he allowed the mixture to cool, the more potent it would become and thus speed healing. However, it was a double edge sword now with Hawke on the verge of death: wait for the potion to cool and she would wake up but wait too long and risk her never waking up again.

With hope so near, Anders found his anxiety had redoubled. He stared at the vials in front of him drumming his fingers on the marble surface wondering how soon would be feasible to give one to his unconscious lover when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. The blonde glanced back, finding Aveline behind him understanding shining from her green orbs. The ginger haired warrior guided Anders from the kitchen with a firm but surprisingly gently hand and instructed him to take a bath and freshen up to help time pass. When he was done making himself more presentable, he could administer the potion. While Bodahn and Orana prepared a bath for the healer, Anders found himself staring at his visage in the mirror. He no longer recognized the gaunt figure looking back, his normally twinkling caramel eyes now looked haunted with deep bags from so many restless or skipped nights of sleep. His cheeks were sunken and hallow looking, making him look almost skeletal from not eating properly. His hair, once always well-kept and bound now hung in greasy clumps from running his hands through his hair and not bathing.

The healer couldn't help the bitter laugh that bubbled from his lips at the change in appearance these few weeks wrought. He could imagine that without this bath Aveline insisted he take, Hawke would admonish him for not taking care of himself when she awoke. The mage could almost hear her words of recrimination as he worked his shaving brush in the mug to whip his shaving soap into a lather. Time flew by as the healer set to the new task in front of him, though he wasn't going to be able to hide the weight loss, he could at least look some what normal when his love awoke. He also forced himself to think positively, not daring to consider the potion not working, or even worse waiting too long for it to have any effect.

_It will work, _Anders recited to himself as he sank into the hot water. _She will wake up, and my life will have meaning again. Her smile will light up Hightown. Andraste's knickers I miss the sound of voice. How did I think I would survive a month without being near her, while being in those blighted deep roads? At this point, it's nearly the same thing. It's been nearly a month and Nathaniel should be back soon with the rest of the wardens.  
_

Rising from the still warm water, Anders dressed quickly in the breeches and tunic Orana brought while he was shaving. Entering the study, the healer noticed Carver and Sebastian had returned. Varric was in the middle of the story of his survival and Isabela's escape but upon seeing Anders enter the room ceased mid-sentence which caused all the present companions to turn in Anders' direction.

"Is it time?" Merrill asked, her hands releasing Carver's as she stood in her eagerness. A simple nod from her fellow mage prompted her to skip into the kitchen to retrieve one of the vials before heading into Hawke's bedroom. All of the misfits, minus Isabela, followed the Elvhen mage into the bedroom. Merrill uncorked the vial before administering the drought swallow by slow swallow all the while reciting a Dalish spell of healing. Once the last of the potion had been consumed, she guided Anders through the healing magic needed, since he was a much more proficient healer than Merrill as the rest of the companions stood around the room, waiting for results. When the last glow of Anders' blue healing magic faded, Merrill looked up and blushed at the attention they were receiving. "Now we wait," she explained, and settled on the edge of the bed near Marianna's feet allowing Anders the chance to sit in the chair near at hand. Carver dismissed propriety and climbed into the large bed next to his sister's form, the two men each holding one of her increasingly cold hands. Varric pulled a deck of cards from the folds of his abused leather duster, which prompted the rest of the group to gather around the dwarf on the floor and join in a few hands of cards.

Time seemed to pass slowly for Anders as he waited with baited breath for his lover to awaken. Merrill appeared to be the only one content with waiting for results or perhaps she trusted in the potion to work since it was an ancient Dalish remedy. As more time passed without any sign of positive change, Anders and Carver shared a concerned look over the quiet form between them. Hawke's breath grew slower while her already faint heartbeat became even more listless. In a panic, Anders began pouring healing energy into Mari, hoping to stave off her death and give the potion time to work. The sudden blue glow from the warden's hand drew the attention of those playing cards on the floor. However, try as Anders might, Hawke's breathing and heart soon ceased all together. Switching spells to try and revive Mari, against all odds, the healer tried in vain to jump start his lover's heart and bring her back to him.

Carver aware of the moment when his sister's heart failed, turned away from the trio of magi and stared at the drawn curtains. Tears glistened in the human warrior's eyes but he refused to let them fall even though he was now the last of the Hawke family. Merrill let out a strangled gasp as her hands shot up to her mouth and tears began streaming from her eyes. Sebastian knelt and began a chant while Varric suddenly looked stricken, as if this outcome had never crossed the storyteller's mind. Aveline remained on the ground silent and reserved, but anyone who looked upon her face would notice the silent tears making silver tracks down her face. Fenris looked just as flabbergasted as the dwarf by his side, the only other show of emotion was his hand that bore the crimson scarf clenching repeatedly by his side. Anders' mana finally gave out and with an anguished sob, the blonde mage collapsed on his lover's lifeless body. The room was silent with the exception of the occasional sob or crackle of firewood from the burning hearth. Every face in the room soon wore the same haunted, lost look as if without their leader they were unsure what to do now.

Without warning, Hawke's body erupted in blue and black cracks of energy as power from the fade poured from her body. Anders leaped away, uncertainty overtaking grief in his caramel gaze, as he watched Mari's body arch off the bed. Marianna became the center of attention but only Fenris moved towards the bed-ridden mage. The warrior held his weapon at the ready, waiting for what he thought would be an abomination to finish its transformation. Anders wasn't aware of the ivory-haired warrior's movements, his eyes only able to concentrate on the glowing form of the woman on the bed. As the light slowly began to fade, the blonde mage watched as the pale azure light faded into her warm cerulean depths.

"Thank you Justice," Anders heard her voice whisper into the pervading silence before her eyes finally focused on his face. "Hello love."

* * *

A/N: Yes, it's another cliff hanger, this story started to get away from me so to make it more manageable I broke it up into two parts but have no fear, I'm already working away at Part 2, hopefully it will be up in a few days. Normally for me something wouldn't take that long, but babies...well they seem to require a lot of time and I can't just type away for hours at a time like I used to do. That being said, I am writing sooner than I had believed, which I'm sure is a great relief to all of my fans who were waiting rather anxiously for this next installment.

And for those who are interested, I did in fact bring into this world a little bundle of joy. A beautiful baby girl, granted I'm a little biased being her mom and all. ;-) But everyone so far agrees she's a beauty, so I'm not totally wrong. Any who, that's all for now, until next time.


	36. Lost and Found, Part 2

A/N:Just a quick note: after the break, Hawke is telling her side of what happened while she was trapped for nearly four weeks in the fade, so it switches to first person. Also lines in italics are interruptions in the story via conversations happening with those listening.

Sorry this took longer than I thought it would, my little girl went through a "you have to hold me all the time" phase, which makes writing a bit difficult. Then I had a little writer's block for Hawke's tale, but thankfully my husband helped me through it by being a sounding board (he's my unofficial beta for blocked ideas).

* * *

Without warning, Hawke's body erupted in blue and black cracks of energy as power from the fade poured from her body. Anders leaped away, uncertainty overtaking grief in his caramel gaze, as he watched Mari's body arch off the bed. Marianna became the center of attention but only Fenris moved towards the bed-ridden mage. The warrior held his weapon at the ready, waiting for what he thought would be an abomination to finish its transformation. Anders wasn't aware of the ivory-haired warrior's movements, his eyes only able to concentrate on the glowing form of the woman on the bed. As the light slowly began to fade, the blonde mage watched as the pale azure light faded into her warm cerulean depths.

"Thank you Justice," Anders heard her voice whisper into the pervading silence before her eyes finally focused on his face. "Hello love."

"This is a trick," Fenris growled, pushing the healer aside and raising the greatsword above his head. Carver, understanding what the elven warrior intended, launched himself over the bed, tackling the lithe figure before the sword could be brought down on his sister's head. "It is no longer Hawke," Fenris growled, trying to free his sword arm from Junior's grasp so he could kill the bed-ridden mage in front of him. "She will kill us all. She is an abomination."

Fenris' words broke through the silence, suddenly everyone had something to say on the matter of Hawke's possible possession. Anders ignored the cacophony that surrounded him and gazed down at the raven-haired beauty, unable to believe it possible but not able to understand how she knew the name of his fade bound friend. She had heard him tell a few tales about his time served under Elissa Cousland, but to hear her say his name made him nervous. Especially considering the offer he had once denied Justice. Anders found himself wondering if the spirit had brokered a new deal with his lover, or if he had merely been the catalyst to bring her back. As he watched Hawke struggle to sit upright in order to address her friends, he knew she was not possessed by a demon or a spirit. If she had been taken over, she would have changed physically: becoming both stronger and in the case of demon possession looking completely different, she wouldn't be struggling to do something so simple as sit up in bed, even after being bed-ridden for close to a month. Anders hurried to her side, assisting her to sit up in bed and settling himself behind her so he could enfold her in his arms. He took a long moment to breathe in her scent as she burrowed into his embrace with a grateful smile.

Both two-handed warriors continued to wrestle for dominance: one to end a possible threat, the other to save the last of his family. Fenris was the quicker of the two warriors while Carver the stronger, they would have continued to fight if not for Aveline stepping forward and taking them both by the ear as she hoped against all logic her long-time friend wasn't possessed.

"I'm not possessed," Hawke finally managed to quietly explain to the room once the warriors separated.

"Why should we believe you?" the elven warrior sneered, turning away from Aveline and Carver to stand near the exit.

"Believe what you will Fenris," Mari sighed, sorrow shining from her eyes as she watched the elf glare at her. "I don't know of any way to prove to you I'm not possessed that you will believe, other than time and giving you a chance to observe me."

"What about Anders," Carver broke in. "You believed him when he cast that spell at Keran."

"I did not," Fenris insisted, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned against the wall, trying to appear nonchalant but everyone noticed the way he kept tense and ready like a great cat ready to pounce.

"You say you have seen abominations in Danarius' service," Hawke began, waiting for the elf to nod before continuing. "Have you ever seen them keep their physical form?"

"No," he replied curtly, a slight grimace playing across his features as he began to understand Marianna's meaning. "Though you could be a desire demon pleased with the form this mortal gave you."

"I'm sure Anders would agree I am a desire demon," Mari chuckled lightly in agreement before laying a gentle kiss on the blonde's check. "But until I convince Sebastian to dance naked in the moonlight in the chantry courtyard while drunk, I believe you are all safe."

"I'm convinced," Varric chuckled, as he watched an agitated archer blush a brilliant shade of red. "Only Hawke would try to embarrass Choir Boy with talk of moonlit drunken debauchery."

"As am I," Anders whispered, giving his Mari a quick squeeze he buried his face in the crook of her neck as tears of relief sprang into his tawny eyes. The healer felt a small hand glide through his hair trying to reassure him but the warden mage dared not raise his head until he got the moisture threatening to fall until control. He was sure his fellow mage could feel his unsteady breath enveloped as she was in his embrace but she was kind enough to not react.

"Where's Bela?" Hawke queried, curiosity coloring her voice as she looked at each of the misfits. "I would have thought she would be here with everyone else."

The companion's looked around at each other before Varric stepped forward, nervously rubbing the back on his neck. "Well it's a funny story really but I'll keep it quick for you," the dwarf began, sitting in the chair near the bed. "After Meredith crowned you champion, you passed out. It caused quite an uproar from the nobles, who thought Meredith had done something to you. Good old Broody swept you up and carried you here. We weren't entirely sure what we were going to do without Blondie here, so I went to find Daisy since she has knowledge of poultices and potions and some minor healing abilities. Sadly because of the chaos the city was in, it took hours for me to get back. Fenris and Rivaini weren't here when I arrived back with Daisy in tow. After our girl checked you over, we knew we had to get a message to Blondie somehow. I went around to all the messenger services in the city before I found one that would try to track him down. When I got back, Junior and your man were already here. Seems you are a better messenger than the one I paid.

"Word spread that the city's champion was unconscious. You know how secrets are: the bigger and better the secret, the faster they spread. The First Enchanter showed up one day with an idea for a potion he had seen used during his childhood and once we had the complete list of ingredients, Rivaini and I used our contacts to track them down unfortunately we weren't able to find one of the components with our sources, so Rivaini used a couple of Castillon's. Earlier today when the ship was set to arrive, we went to meet the boat and it turned out to be a set-up. Castillon had men waiting for our girl, Bela managed to get the ingredient to me but then took off. Bianca and I distracted the men while Rivaini split. I don't think she's in town anymore, probably smuggled herself on some ship before it left the docks."

"It's all my fault," Marianna whispered.

"Why would you say that?" Merrill trilled from Carver's side. "It's not like you asked the Arishok to knock you into a wall. At least I don't think you did. I can't imagine why anyone would want to be knocked into a wall. You didn't, did you?"

"No Merrill," Hawke giggled lightly, thankful for Merrill's perspective but still sorrowful that her coma had caused her best friend to resort to using contacts that she knew would probably get her caught.

"She knew the risk," Varric informed the bed-ridden mage. "And for you, she was willing to take the risk of Castillon tracking her here, especially when you wouldn't let the horn-heads just take her when she came back to return that tome."

Silence descended over the group as they allowed Hawke to digest all that had occurred with their dual-wielding rogue while she was in her coma. The first rays of sunlight could just be seen peaking through the heavy curtains heralding the approaching dawn, prompting Aveline to break the quiet atmosphere.

"It's good to see you awake Hawke," the guard captain nodded. "But I need some rest before I get back to work. The nobles are all clamoring for a new viscount and each person believes they should be placed in the position and Meredith refuses to let anyone whom she doesn't consider worthy take the seat. You know where to find me."

Aveline's departure seemed to spur the rest of the group into leaving as well. Soon only Carver, Anders and Hawke remained in the room and Carver seemed as immovable as stone until he had more of an explanation about the strange incident that just happened with his sister. He had heard a couple of stories about Justice from Oghren but knew his sister had never interacted with the fade spirit.

"I suppose you both want to know what happened?" Mari asked, looking between the two men in her life waiting for their confirmations before launching into her tale.

* * *

When I first woke up in the fade, I wasn't completely sure what had happened. I could vaguely remember the battle with the Arishok but after he charged into me and knocked me into the wall the rest of the fight got a little fuzzy. I'm honestly surprised I made it through the fight given how sluggish I was. I remember even less of what I'm sure was a lovely confrontation with the Knight-Commander, given how upset she was when she discovered I was truly a mage.

_"She muttered something about you lying to her Anders when she discovered I was truly a mage. It was the warning you had Donnic deliver, isn't it?"_

_"I'm afraid so."_

_"Well isn't that dandy, she was rather peeved. I think if it wasn't for the qunari attacking, she would have carted me off to the circle right then and there but I digress."_

Being that I woke in the fade, my body was as I perceived it so I didn't have any of the injuries from my fight with the Arishok. Usually Faith is there to greet me, but this time I found myself with a spirit wearing full-plate and helmet. When I noticed him he was surprised, apparently most of the magi don't perceive him if he doesn't want them to notice.

"You surprise me mage," the armored spirit said by way of a greeting. "I see why he is fascinated with you."

"Who is he?" I asked, looking around me at the unfamiliar fade scenery.

"I believe you call him your betrothed."

"Anders? You know Anders?"

"Yes, we served in Amaranthine together, for a time. I am Justice, I am unsure if he has ever made mention of me."

"He has told me a few stories," I confirmed, finally taking note of the fade spirit. "Why are you here?"

"I have been assisting Anders seek justice for the mages of Kirkwall. I initially offered to bind my essence to him but he denied me."

"You wanted to possess him? I thought spirits have no interest in the lives of man."

"We do not," the spirit before me agreed. "But I made a promise before he was kidnapped by templars at Vigil's Keep."

"What promise?"

"To help mages achieve freedom like that of their fellow man. But as I said, he denied me. I believe it was because of you."

"Me? I highly doubt that," I tried to laugh away his words.

"I thought you a distraction, and then when your mother was killed he could not honor our agreement. In part because of you and I believe in part because those atrocities were committed by one of your own. I believe he began to see the evil that resides in all men, not just templars."

"If I am a distraction, why are you here?"

"If I do not help you, you will die."

"And?"

"You are a mage, are you not?" I didn't even bother to respond to the spirit, since the answer was obvious to us both. "If you die, you will never achieve the freedom I promised to help Anders win for all mages. I will help you remember your injuries, and help you find Anders."

As he began to walk me through the fight, it didn't take long for me to remember all the injuries I suffered while fighting the Arishok. The hard part was the waiting. While I was basically trapped in the fade, time seemed to pass slowly even with Justice's reassurances that you would eventually appear. Once he was certain you were in the fade, he helped me connect with you to ask for help. What neither of us realized was the injury to my skull was what was really preventing me from waking. So it wasn't until we realized a week had passed and I was still stuck that something more dangerous had occurred.

_"I thought I taught you about brain swelling," Anders interrupted._

_"You did, but I just didn't think that my head injury had caused so much damage," Hawke agreed. "It was only after Justice read your thoughts in the fade that we knew about the swelling."_

_"Can we get on with this?" Carver scowled, a little frustrated by the magic aspect of the conversation._

_"Still upset you don't have magic?" Anders quipped, a smirk playing across his handsome features._

_"Shut it," Carver growled, shooting his fellow warden a death glare._

_"Okay, okay," Hawke shook her head, fighting the smile that threatened to bloom across her wasted features as the two men in her life quarreled._

As the weeks wore on without my recovery, it became more apparent to Justice that if I shouldn't survive, Anders would lose his purpose. He visited your infrequent trips to the fade and watched as your dreams once so haunted by darkspawn became increasingly about my death. He even showed me one such dream and we realized that you were slowly going crazy without me around. He saw that you were losing your purpose, no longer certain in your actions or what to do with your time. I think this is when Justice realized you would never have made a good host, and you would probably have ceased to exist with his overwhelming moral code eventually taking over completely.

As time passed, I became more substantial in the fade. I was able to do more in the fade, and I was even able to connect with some of Carver's dreams and was visited by some of our family. I knew that time was short and you would either bring-

_"Wait a minute, you saw my dreams?" Carver interrupted, shaking his head at the startling realization._

_"Near the end, yes," Hawke answered, looking contrite as she met her brother's shocked gaze._

_"We'll talk about that later," Carver muttered, his fist clenching as he tried to recall his dreams lately._

_"I'm sure," Hawke murmured back, a subtle smile uplifting the corners of her full lips._

As I was saying, I knew time was short and you would either bring me back or I would die. However Justice developed a plan that would help me come back if the worst should happen. He was able to track down my spirit healer teacher, Faith, and with her help we would get me back. We were all aware as soon as my body died that it was time to implement Justice's plan. Pouring healing into my own body, Faith became a bridge for my essence to travel back to my body. Since she had such a close connection being my teacher, she had a greater knowledge of my character and was more able to form that bridge while Justice could really only form a bridge to Anders.

Apparently the spirits can bring people back, but only with those they know and only when that soul is deemed worthy, but it's not something they like to use very often. Your friend Justice himself has only done it once, it's why you will hear the occasional tale of people seeing their family and then coming back. However in mages, since we are aware of our time in the fade, it can be a little more apparent.

* * *

"A little? Ha, you lit up the whole bloody room," Carver informed her with a wave of his hand gesturing towards the whole bedroom before looking a little thoughtful. "It reminded me a little of when Fenris does his glowing bit."

"Really?" the raven-haired mage let out a soft laugh. "No wonder you all stared at me so much."

"You were filled with energy from the fade too," Anders informed his fellow mage. "I haven't felt anything like that since I was around Justice in Amaranthine."

"And you're not likely to feel anything like it again," Hawke stated, certainty shining from her aquamarine eyes. "Though as strange as it sounds, I'm tired."

"You should try to eat something more substantial than broth before you sleep," Anders replied, sliding out from behind his lover and propping her up with the pillows from their bed. "I'll bring up some food, and then you can sleep."

"I should go to bed too," Carver stated, rising from the foot of the bed. "It's good to see you awake, sister. Don't do that to me again, you hear?"

"You know me, always making a lasting impression. Even if it's against stone walls," Hawke quipped.

The two men groaned at Hawke's bad joke before they headed out of the bedroom. Hawke gave both men a grateful, if tired smile, before letting her eyelids drift closed while she waited for her food. The two men spared one last glance at the petite mage before they left the room heading towards their differing destinations. Before Carver veered off down the hallway towards his room, he grabbed the mage's arm, stopping Anders from his decent down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Will she be okay?" Carver asked, concern present in his eyes so similar in color to Hawke's.

"Only time will tell," the healer replied solemnly, sensing the other man's desire for honesty without the jokes. "I believe she will though."

"Good," the younger Hawke gave his fellow warden a curt nod before moving down the hallway leading to his sleeping chamber.

Anders grinned after the warrior left his side, heading to the kitchen, he felt like capering as he descended the stairs.

"Good morning Mast-" Orana greeted as he entered the kitchen before the blonde cut her off with a raised hand.

"I'm not your master, Orana," Anders admonished gently, heading towards the pot simmering with broth for Hawke.

"Yes of course," the elf lowered her eyes, a slight blush coloring her cheeks as she continued to prepare food for herself and the two dwarves. "Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive," Anders laughed lightly, ladling broth into a bowl before setting the dish on a tray.

"Did the potion work?" the blonde elf finally asked, watching him prepare the tray.

"Yes," Anders flashed Orana a dazzling smile as he cut thick slices of bread. "She'll need plenty of rest and food over the next few weeks but she should make a full recovery."

"That is good news," she intoned, a smile brightening her fair features as she began assisting Anders in preparing the tray of food for her mistress.

With the elf's assistance, Anders soon had a tray ready for the two of them. Orana promised to pass of the good news to Bodahn and Sandal as Anders left the kitchen to return to their bedroom. The warden watched his lover like the bird she was named for as she ate the simple fare he brought. Though unable to finish everything he brought her, Anders was content with Marianna's small appetite before she fell asleep. Setting the tray of dirty dishes outside the door, Anders stripped out of his tunic and breeches, crawled under the covers and pulled his love's slight form against his own before falling into a much-needed restful sleep.

* * *

A/N: So I wanted to make a Dragon Age version of a near death experience, I hope my "spirit bridge" is a believable substitute. I tried to explain it as best I could, I hope I did it in a way that's semi-easy to understand and believable.

When I think of the fade, I believe that everyone visits the fade when they sleep (mage or not), it's only the magi that remember and can control their time in the fade while mundanes are left with no control over their dreams. Also people can appear anyway they desire, like how you see yourself in your mind's eye and not always what you see when looking in the mirror, hence why Hawke would have appeared without the injuries she sustained after her battle with the Arishok. She had to make an effort to remember them as she showed them to Anders in his dream.

On another note, I'm so happy I split this up, seeing how this is the longest chapter I've written yet. If it had been one piece, I may have given up on this story. j/k


	37. Road to Recovery

The wardens had finally arrived back in town after their trip to the deep roads, and Nathaniel had been apprising his fellow warden on everything that had occurred with the Architect while underground. Carver was also present for the debriefing, listening in fascination at the news given by his superior. Anders was thankful the young Hawke would be returning to Fereldan with the rest of the wardens the next day. Though it was obvious he cared for his sister, the two still fought whenever they were in the same room for longer than five minutes and the constant bickering was starting to wear away at the patience of everyone in the house. When Nathaniel completed his report, Anders left _The Noble's Respite_, heading for the Amell estate while Carver planned to stay the night to drink and socialize with his fellow wardens.

Entering the house, he greeted Bodahn and Sandal as they took the opportunity with Hawke restricted to bed to clean the fireplaces in other rooms of the estate. It was a much needed, dirty job and Anders found himself chuckling at the young savant leaving sooty hand prints all over the white stone walls while his father clicked his tongue and tried unsuccessfully to admonish his much-loved son as he chuckled along with the mage.

"Pretty!" exclaimed the blonde dwarf, turning towards Anders looking for confirmation of his "artwork."

"I think it would be much better on some parchment," Bodahn managed to wheeze out from behind a dirty cloth tied to cover his nose and mouth, protecting him from the ash that always managed to get stirred up while cleaning the hearth.

His father's words prompted the young dwarf to rush to his enchantment chest and pull sheets of parchment from the interior. He quickly brought the thick paper back to his father's side and began placing his dirty hand prints on the blank vellum. Quickly placing several prints on the sheet, he then handed the paper to Anders.

"Pretty lady better?" Sandal inquired, concern shining from his pale blue eyes.

"She will be," Anders promised, taking the offered parchment.

"Gift for lady," the blonde dwarf stated motioning to the sheet in Anders' hands.

"I'll give it to her," the healer vowed, as the young dwarf returned to the pile of vellum on the floor.

Anders quickly headed towards the stairs, a spring in his step that had been missing since that fateful night almost a month prior. Their bedroom door was open, signalling Hawke's being awake and welcoming visitors. He entered their room and let his eyes feast upon her as she sat propped up by numerous pillows on the bed. She was alone but the healer could tell her last visitor was Varric considering she had her writing supplies and journal on the bed with her. He watched her as her brow was furrowed in concentration as her quill rapidly flew over the bound parchment of her journal, stopping only ocassionally to scratch at Demon's ears as the mabari sprawled on the bed next to her in the place Anders usually occupied. The dog raised his head to look at the mage hovering in the doorway but let out a soft, slightly angry huff before lowering his head and enjoying the feel of being near his master once again. During the course of Mari's convalescence, the blonde warden had sent him with Aveline to the barracks in the hopes the guardsmen would keep the mabari distracted enough while his master was in a coma. Demon was still holding a grudge against Anders, knowing he was the one who was behind his banishment from his master's side. Several moments passed before his fellow mage glanced up from her writings, finally feeling a presence in the room. Anders' heart skipped a beat as joy suffused her face when she finally noticed him, beckoning him to her side since she was under strict orders to remain in bed. After blotting the wet ink to make sure it was dry, his lover handed off her writing supplies so he could join her in the bed.

"How did it go?" she queried when he finally sat on the edge of the bed facing her.

"I think it went about as well as it could for them when they were down there," Anders answer, unable to give further detail because of warden secrets. Minutes passed without further conversation as Hawke studied the mage in front of her. Finally she reached out a skeletal hand and caressed Anders' jawline. His eyes closed slowly, reveling in her touch, a feeling he had solely missed while she was unconscious. When he finally gazed at her again, her eyes welled with concern, as she noticed the bags under his eyes, his gaunt features and the way his clothes now hung loosely off his frame.

"You didn't take care of yourself," she gently admonished, her hand dropping to grab one of his resting on the bed.

"You were more important," Anders admitted reluctantly, unable to meet her penetrating gaze so he instead watched their joined hands.

"Evidently," her musical laughter seemed muted and forced as she brought her other hand to his chin and forced his tawny gaze to meet her aquamarine. When he met her orbs, he saw a flash of anger that she managed to quickly hide behind concern. "You're important to me, you know. Did you honestly think I wouldn't notice how much you've changed?"

"Taking care of myself was the last thing on my mind," Anders anger began to mount at her lecture forcing him to rise from her side and move to the hearth. He stared into the flames, remembering how close he had been to actually losing her. "I almost lost you," he forced out quietly, his voice breaking slightly from the anguish he currently felt.

"I know," she breathed warily. "I didn't plan to put you through that kind of heartache."

"So why did you do it?"

"Because it was the right thing to do!" she exclaimed passionately before huffing at her inability to rise from the bed and make him face her. "She's my best friend, do you really think I would let them take Bela away and do Maker knows what to her? Fenris has told me some of the stories about the qunari, and they are not forgiving of transgressions. I would die to protect each and every one of you."

"And that's the problem!" Anders roared, turning in his rage to stare at the woman he loved with every fiber of his being as he ranted his frustration. "You put yourself in these dangerous situations and don't even think about those you would leave behind. You went into the deeps, against my better judgement I went with you, and your brother was tainted, which could have just as easily been you. You constantly put yourself in the templars sights, without regard for the fact that any one of them could have carted you off to the circle and the rest of us would probably die as well for protecting you. And now it's even worse, as the city's champion, if you don't do exactly as Meredith dictates she'll eagerly strip you of your title and kill you or worse make you tranquil. I-I couldn't live through that..."

"Anders," Marianna whispered after he trailed off, bitter anguish quickly replacing his spent anger and frustration. She motioned him to come closer and the healer collapsed on the bed, his arms wrapped around her waist and his head resting on her lap. Her small hand swiftly untied the leather thong keeping his hair bound and began running her deft fingers through his blonde locks trying to comfort him. Her hand stilled when there was a soft knock on the open door and the two mages looked up to see Orana hovering in the entryway.

"Is everything alright, Mistress?" the elf questioned softly, her face a slight pink at the sight of Anders lifting his head from Mari's lap.

"We're fine Orana," Hawke replied, a smile ghosting across her lips at the servant's obvious discomfort. "Just a little argument but thank you for your concern." At Marianna's reassurance, the elf turned to leave but was stopped by her next sentence.

"Orana, I'm not your master, you don't have to call me mistress," Hawke chided mildly. "I've told you to call me Mari, all my family does."

"If you insist, Mistr- Mari," a small smile appeared on the quiet elf's features as she ducked her head before departing the bedroom.

Anders' head returned to Hawke's lap after the handmaid left. "I'm sorry," she finally uttered quietly as she returned to stroking his golden locks.

"Me too," he murmured, his face still buried in her lap not daring to break their bubble of comfort and love by moving. A shiver ran through his body as he enjoyed the way she skillfully soothed his anguish by stroking his mane. Her actions managed to bring about vague memories of his mother doing much the same thing when he was decades younger in the Anderfels before he was dragged to the circle when he was known by another name entirely. A name he kept locked in his memory and would only share with the woman in front of him on the night of their wedding.

"I can try to change if it truly bother-" Hawke began before Anders sat up quickly and hushed her with a gentle finger to her full lips.

"No don't," Anders spoke looking serious as he removed his finger and stroked her gaunt cheek. "You risking your life for others is one of the things I love about you. Even though it frustrates me to see you risk your own safety time and again, I wouldn't have you change for all the sovereigns in Thedas. Just think about it, if you didn't risk your life for others we never would have met."

"True," her blue-green eyes sparkled with amusement. "You would have been taken down by crazy dwarves in the sewers."

"Exactly," Anders agreed before placing a gentle kiss to the center of her forehead. He moved to kiss both of her eyelids and enjoyed the way her breath caught under her tender affection. He paused gazing at her berry mouth, his thumb gently caressing the lower lip before her eagerness had her pulling Anders towards her seeking his lips in a searing, love-filled kiss. Heat flooded through the warden before settling in his groin at their shared fervor as the kiss continued. It had been too long since he had kissed her with such heat and he deeply regretted his next action as he broke the kiss.

"We can't love," he stated breathlessly, groaning when her desire filled eyes took on an edge of hurt. "Not yet anyway, you need to heal more before we can."

"Fine," Hawke grumbled leaning her forehead against her fellow mage's. The two regained their lost breath before Anders noticed her grin turn coquettish and he felt a thrill run through him despite the fact he knew whatever was on her mind was bound to drive him mad with desire. "We need a bath," she finally declared pulling back and flipping the covers from her atrophied legs.

"Fine, fine," the blonde mage sighed, not daring to protest against her request. "I'll have Bodahn and Orana prepare one."

When the promise appeased her, Anders left her with a goofy grin lighting up her face as she began the arduous process of moving her legs to hang over the edge of the bed while she waited for him to return. It didn't take Anders long to find Orana, as she was in the guest room Carver had been in the last month changing the bed linens in preparation for its future use. He relayed the need for a bath to be drawn before he returned to their room. He came to hover by her side when she insisted on standing without any assistance upon his return to her bedside.

The healer watched with growing trepidation as she somehow managed to push herself off the bed but due to her legs' weakness couldn't find her balance and began to topple forward. Anders caught her before she fell too far forward, knowing this would happen when she requested the chance of getting up without help. He quickly swept her up so he was cradling her in his arms. Even though he hadn't taken care of himself while the raven beauty was in her coma, he was still strong enough to pick up her wasted form with very little effort.

"Bad idea?" she giggled lightly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You think?" Anders bounced her to redistribute her weight causing her to squeak in surprise before he walked towards the bathroom.

Hawke managed to convince the Darktown healer to join her in the bath but was unable to get Anders to relieve both of their mounting tension. The blonde kept insisting she need more time to regain her strength before they could make love to each other again. Eventually the raven haired mage gave up and allowed her lover to take care of her before they returned to the bedroom and dinner was quickly brought up. After dinner, Marianna was able to convince Anders to carry her to the library for a change of scenery and a chance to get out of the bed. The evening was spent with Mari reading to her love while he sat behind her with his arms wrapped around on the chaise enjoying the sound of her voice.

* * *

A/N: So initially this was going to be a few little snip-its about Hawke's recovery after being knocked out for a month, but this first snip-it took on a life of it's own (which is a good thing, right? It means more story, right...right? Haha, we'll see.). So we'll save the sexy times for the next chapter.

On another note: I'm basing Hawke's trouble walking on my recent childbirth after getting an epidural for the pain (numb from the waist down man, only way to go). I imagine after not walking for a month and having slight atrophy in the legs would be much like the tingling that occurred after I got partial feeling back in my legs: knowing how my legs were supposed to move but being unable to truly complete the action.


End file.
